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To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 6:27:50 PM

Loric

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

Recently, I received a c-mail from someone belittling My way of life. This has not caused Me to lose any sleep, nor has it caused Me to re-think My choices, in fact rather the opposite. Now, I know that not everyone is Gorean, and that's fine...
Gor isn't for everyone, and I don't expect everyone to be Gorean. However, for someone claiming to be Dominant to send a message to another Dominant that is blatantly disrespectful, in My mind just shows that the sender is insecure in Him/Herself. I don't care what others think about My life choices, but I do expect to be given the basic respect that all living things deserve. I believe that Gor is right for Me, it has called out to My soul in ways that even I don't as yet fully understand, but I am exploring them and learning more every day, both about Gor and about Myself. What the whole point of this post is however is this...how many of My fellow Goreans, both Free and slave have been confronted in a similar manner, and what if anything have you done about it? I'd enjoy hearing from everyone on this subject...even those of you who aren't Gorean...I'm open to listening to the thoughts and ideas of others, even if I don't agree with them.

Loric

Post #: 1

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 6:37:19 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

It is very rare that belittling someone's lifestyle ever serves a purpose beyond the person with the need to belittle (oh wait, it typically shows them to be a jerk, so that is a purpose). The little bit I have learned about Gor is completely unappealling to me. But that's my choice, just as you enjoying it is yours. I think it isn't your beliefs, per se, but just the "same old, same old" of "my kink is better than your kink".

I do have to ask though. Was this an email that came out of the blue or in response to one that you sent? I have received emails from those who enjoy Gor, and I have usually polited pointed out to them that I'm very clear in my profile for my dislike of it, wish them luck and send them on their way. When they email me all "big, bad and 'domly'", they get the same response as the non-Gorean who do that, but it has nothing to do with their choices.

My advice, ignore it. If you are happy with what you are doing and not doing harm to anyone else, then that's what's important.

(in reply to Loric)

Post #: 2

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:14:22 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

OP, I'm glad it didn't ruffle your feathers. A lot of us who could be considered a sub culture of the BDSM culture (Victorian, Leather, you name it) will get the stray comments once in a while. On a rare occasion, I'll have something land in My mailbox that is similar to what you describe above. No biggie. Just shows that there are some people who don't get how I enjoy living My life.

Far more often, I get questions about it from people who are making serious inquiries. They actually want to learn about something that I've said or are curious. Trust Me. Those are way more enjoyable.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 3

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:18:23 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

The cmail wasn't about Gor. It was about a putdown.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 4

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:26:25 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I hard-limited Gorean Lifestyle on my profile not because I disliked the books or the "philosophy," but because 100% of the women I talked with who identified as Gorean-interested were emotionally unhealthy, mentally unstable, or interested in cybersex only. I've met a lot of women (and men Platonically for that matter) online-to-real, and there's no question that Goreans are the most caught up in wanking and fantasy world.

So Loric, you've got to understand you're dealing with that. I don't know anything about you, except that you wrote a sensible post. However, Gorean men in lifestyle dungeons are famous for calling all female subs "girl" even if she's unowned and not their sub, and in general being arrogant bastards in a not-good way. If fewer of the men were flaming assholes, and fewer of the women were broken, I'd be less likely to think Gor was, well, fiction.

Edited to add: I'm not a fan of what little of the books I've read, either... to sidestep any possible misreading of my first sentence.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 5/7/2009 7:28:22 PM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 5

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:40:35 PM

AlexandraLynch

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline

Personally, there's two reasons I don't do Gorean. First, I'm a dominant female, which is problematic in Gorean lifestyle stuff, and I really wasn't impressed by the books. But to each their own, and the only time I ever get annoyed by it is when someone thinks that because I don't have dangly bits I'm inferior to him. Otherwise, live and let live and have fun with your life.

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 6

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:45:17 PM

Joseff

Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

I can only add to all these posts that, no matter one's views concerning one ism over another, there is never a good reason to be rude. That behavior says much more about someone than just their likes and dislikes. Just ignore those people and move on.

_____________________________

This is gonna hurt...

Joseff

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 7

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:47:33 PM

Loric

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

I have been known to call all submissives girl as well, and I don't mean it as an insult...it is, after all what they are...if they take offense, I rectify the matter...however, few of the ones that I have met do take offense, because they know that I am speaking to them with respect to their position of being submissive. And yes, most of the "Goreans" I have met are more interested in the fantasy aspect of it as opposed to the realities that we can and some of us indeed do bring into real life...there is a beauty to Gor...and a sense of Honor that appeals to Me...and while others may not like it I respect their right to their opinion...even if I disagree with it. I personally don't think that I'm going to wake up and be able to go ride a Tarn or what have you...but there are aspects of Gor that I do utilize..and yes, I've seen too many women that are in abusive or unhappy marriages that seek solace in Gor because it is not dissimilar to what they already have...but, there is a difference between online Gor and real life Gor that people who aren't Gorean, or don't understand it either miss seeing or ignore for the most part...and that's what I was getting from the sender of the cmail...

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 8

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:49:51 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loric

However, for someone claiming to be Dominant to send a message to another Dominant that is blatantly disrespectful, in My mind just shows that the sender is insecure in Him/Herself.

"While many people believe that bullies act tough in order to hide feelings of insecurity and self-loathing, in fact, bullies tend to be confident, with high self-esteem." http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/faq/bullying.asp

I just wanted to point out that particular misconception/propaganda.

(in reply to Loric)

Post #: 9

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 7:53:23 PM

Loric

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

it was a message that came out of the blue...I don't know the person that sent it, and quite frankly don't wish to know her because she has somewhat of an attitude problem...strikes Me as the kind of woman that has to belittle others to make herself feel better in order to come off as Dominant...which, from My experience just makes you look bad to potential submissives/slaves

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 10

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 8:00:07 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Hi, Loric----
Is your inclination to respond to or ignore the person?
Davan
(Who would be peeved to be called 'girl' by a miscellaneous guy and would likely call him 'boy' after giving him an obviously appraising up, down once over then grinning and making challenging eye-contact as I said it)

I am editing to add that I am somewhat impressed that you brought your query to the 'general' board and that you welcome and have thus far respectfully replied to the posts received. :>

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 5/7/2009 8:01:20 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Loric)

Post #: 11

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 8:05:02 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

When The Bladewing was alive, we ran a real live household where The Bladewing and about 1/3 of the other members were actively involved in the Gorean existence. We got hefty doses of rude commentary over the years, not just over the Gorean aspects, but over our poly home, the fact that we shared a household with folks who weren't into WIITWD at all ... you name it, someone had something to bitch about. In the end, you have to decide what works for you.

I'm not involved in the Gorean community these days. Our household is primarily matriarchally oriented at this point, which is antithetical to the foundations of Gorean philosophy. Since neither of the matriarchs are interested in entering into a long term relationship, it's unlikely that there will be anyone to replace The Bladewing as our Head of Household. That doesn't mean that there aren't aspects of what we do that reflect the Gorean influences that shaped us, and I'm not ashamed of those in the least. Regardless of the literary quality of the books, there were ideas there that could be expanded on and which provide interesting augmentation to an existing ethical and life-code. Regardless of whether anyone else thinks it is worth anything, I found something valuable there for me.

Congratulations on finding a place that works for you -- and let the wankers do what it is they do best.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Loric)

Post #: 12

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 8:15:48 PM

Loric

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

My inclination is to respond with a respectful but firm shove off, which I did...*chuckles softly* and as My Grandfather used to say...no Man is so knowledgeable that He can't learn a few things...no One is perfect, all we can do is find the person(s) that is/are perfect for us

and Davan...have you read the unedited Stranger in a Strange Land?

< Message edited by Loric -- 5/7/2009 8:17:39 PM >

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 13

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 8:26:43 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loric
strikes Me as the kind of woman that has to belittle others to make herself feel better in order to come off as Dominant...

*shrug* Since I haven't read the email in question much less met the writer I couldn't possibly say. But stereotypically that's not what's going on with bullying. Tops who go around trying to dominate everybody really do have the opinion that they are just that much better than everyone else.

(in reply to Loric)

Post #: 14

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 8:48:06 PM

Loric

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

perhaps they do think that, but being insulting is not being a Dominant....not in My book at least, and since the comments were directed at Me specifically and Goreans in general, it could have devolved into an Us vs Them kind of thing as I've seen happen before, both online and in real...but it didn't...however, from some of the things said in the mail she definately has the opinion that all Goreans are stupid and somehow inferior to her because we choose to incorporate aspects of what she called a fantasy world...and yes, Gor is a fantasy world...but that doesn't mean that there aren't aspects of it that can and indeed in My opinion should be applied to daily life...but that's just an opinion...

(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 15

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 9:14:12 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

While I'm sorry you were insulted all I can say is... it happens. It sucks but it happens. I just got an e-mailing mocking me for not showing my face. When I explained my reasons, they physically threatened me and reminded me how close they are to my town. It was... bizarre to say the least.

Certainly there are other Goreans that have been insulted by those who aren't Goreans but I'd say the number is about the same for non-Goreans being insulted by Goreans.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Loric)

Post #: 16

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 9:19:14 PM

Loric

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

yes, it does happen...and it shouldn't...because as My Grandfather used to say...before you can control others, you must first learn to control yourself...and if a Dominant doesn't have enough self control to not belittle and mock another's beliefs then they aren't a Dominant in My book...and as for the person threatening you...that's definately a silly thing for them to do as it wouldn't take much to have them locked up for terroristic threats at the least

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 17

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 10:03:55 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

ehhh im way to lazy to do the gor thing.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Loric)

Post #: 18

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 10:33:20 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

This could get Gor-y!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 19

RE: To Gor or not to Gor... - 5/7/2009 10:48:12 PM

Loric

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline

*chuckles softly* yes, yes it could

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 20

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