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Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/22/2009 11:46:19 PM   
lapresence


Posts: 94
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		I am curious to put this before others.  I mean we all know about the married men that figure out that they are kinky and want a sub on the side.  But what about those Doms that choose a vanilla woman.  How many have known this to happen?  Is it an oddity, or does it happen fairly regularly. 

This is personal, so just a little back story.  My ex-Master seemed happy to have a poly household.  Two slaves that adored him and love each other.  Seems pretty awesome, don't you think?  So he has that in his back pocket, but then meets a 19 year old vanilla girl and in only 2 months is proposing to her.  We found this out by accident because my sister was taking care of his dogs and stumbled on the receipt for the ring.  The girl of course knows nothing of us, which has been our complaint to him.  Obviously, we are not going to stick around.  But we are still devastated.  So my question is:

What is the attraction?  And it's not like he's just a little kinky.  He's into some pretty freaky stuff.  And he complains about what he doesn't like about her to us.  I know we can't help who we fall in love with, but it is just so hard for me to grasp. 
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/22/2009 11:53:53 PM   
aphotic


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline 		I'm 25, and I'm not much into kink stuff. I pretty much into fate, love, and death. On the other hand, I saw someone who drew my ire quite strongly on here. It's a bastards move to commit to those he doesn't love. You got a bastard. I'm sorry.

(in reply to lapresence)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 12:18:22 AM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, you absolutely CAN help who you fall in love with.  That said, inside many a kinky person is a person who feels secretly guilty about being kinky.  If we meet and like someone who is "vanilla", by whatever definition we use, we can be relieved of that guilt.  That's my first stab at a guess about his motivation.  My other guess is that a grown man getting deeply involved with a 19 year old isn't exactly "vanilla" in many books.  A lot of people might suggest she is easily manipulated and that might be his attraction to her - she's a sub in his mind just by virtue of her lack of experience and youthful naivete.  My bet is, if she doesn't figure it out sooner, in about 5 or 6 years she's going to mature a bit and have a better sense of self and not want to put up with a man who hides things from her, and tries to hide them from himself.

(in reply to aphotic)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 12:32:21 AM   
lapresence


Posts: 94
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		True enough about that situation not being vanilla, that a grown man is interested in a 19 year old.  And honestly, if I were in her shoes, he would cross into my ick factor (my age limit is my mom's age).  He's 20 years my senior, and I'm 9 years hers.  I've never truly been made to feel old before, not just last year's model, but last decade's model. 

But I also don't think he sees her as a sub.  She often writes <her name>'s ass on his ass.  Not at all submissive in my mind.  I know I would never dream of doing that.  I do think she'll figure it out though.  He can't go that long without others, especially if she can't be that to him. 

(in reply to Racquelle)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 2:42:15 AM   
Fadingthought


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/13/2009
Status: offline 		The thought of turning a girl onto bdsm is something I'd enjoy, but I personally chalk this up to a guy just being a douche bag.  Just because he is into d/s doesn't mean he isn't a cheater.  Being fresh and young would be new and exciting for a cheater.


(in reply to lapresence)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 3:41:04 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		For some men, it's hard to be a dominant and or sadist to someone they love.

For others, some think it's difficult or impossible to find a kinky girl that can look sweet and innocent for mama.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to lapresence)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 4:21:17 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		... and there are always those who are just rat bastards.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 4:28:35 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Has it occurred to you that she's his outlet for his submissive side?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 4:40:13 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

... and there are always those who are just rat bastards.


::saluting Cat with my coffee mug::   indeed !

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'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 4:57:06 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		He has an issue which is medically known as screwing anything that moves.  He saw a pretty girl and lied to her abut being available, and to you two about her.  And the fact that he's complaining about her to you two... he's a true gem.

It's not about kink or vanilla.  It's about self control, or lack of it.

My condolences.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MsFlutter)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 5:02:27 AM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		Um, the short answer is he's a shit. Actually, that's my long answer as well. I don't care how old she is, how old he is, he LIED by omission. End of story.

I feel sad for you two women and I really do hope you can both move on and leave this arsehole and his unsuspecting new lady behind (as she will leave him behind eventually, most likely). He's lost something special, don't let him make you two lose your specialness too. Walk away and don't look back.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 5:44:49 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

And he complains about what he doesn't like about her to us.


This shows me he is not the type of person that should be getting married. If he cannot be honest and show some integrity towards the one he "loves" then why does he bother? He sounds to me like a player and he does not really care who gets hurt.

Yes some Dominants feel that they can "pull" submission out of a vanilla person and so they make the attempt, others just feel they want more of a "challenge" that a vanilla can offer, some just want a "normal" equal relationship all of which can be failures.

So does it happen? Yes it does.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to lapresence)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 5:47:17 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

She often writes 's ass on his ass. Not at all submissive in my mind.


Maybe he has a "sub" side that wants to come out and she brings that out in him.
Just a thought. I know I get plenty of cmail from male Dominants who are looking for
someone to nuture their submissive side that they keep hidden from their submissives/slaves.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to lapresence)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 6:13:19 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Has it occurred to you that she's his outlet for his submissive side?

That's the first thing I thought, too.  It's "ok" for him to submit, as long as she is flatteringly young and hot.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 6:17:09 AM   
Eraser


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/11/2008
Status: offline 		I don't believe you can choose who you love, but I know two months knowing someone is far too soon to be proposing to someone, he's got some alterior motive especially if he's complaining about her to you.  He's a douche, she on the other hand, probably isn't vanilla if she's 19 and plans on marrying a man 30 years older than her, or more likely a gold digger looking for a sugar daddy.

If one was an extreme optimist, you could possibly conclude the ring was for one of you, and he plans to bring her into the household but simply plans to ease her in so as not to scare her.

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 6:23:33 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

it is just so hard for me to grasp


He fell in love. What is so unusual about that? Apart from anything else, our brains are heavily pre-programmed for procreation, whatever else we might think or do, and I should imagine that that programming, when triggered, will always prevail. Although I feel it is very important to meet one's commitment's, I could see that happen to me. Kind of surprised you are surprised.

(in reply to lapresence)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 8:54:39 AM   
lapresence


Posts: 94
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		I can see your points.  Well made too.  But he's not being honest.  The thing is that he doesn't want us to leave, he wants to lead the double life.  He spent almost 10 grand to untie my sister's tubes.  But we're just slaves, not his girlfriend or his wife.  So we just have to be grateful for what time and attention we get. 

He is still talking about all the freaky stuff he wants to do with us.  And he hasn't told his ex-fiance either.  He met up with her after picking up the ring.  Can't wait to blow that one.  If he can't be honest, we sure as heck can.  We aren't going to tell his new fiance, but we do feel obligated to let his ex know.  Otherwise he'll string her along for as long as he can too. 

I want an honest and loving relationship, but he's not capable of that. 

(in reply to antipode)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 9:00:02 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Yes, you absolutely CAN help who you fall in love with.

Yep...


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Racquelle)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 12:49:36 PM   
redrose


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your posts.  I am the other slave in this situation.  I have know my Master for 3 years now and in the past 6 monthes i thought it had gotten much more serious.  When the 19 year old came along he kept telling me "she is 19 how long do you think she is going to stay".  He even told me this 2 weeks ago.  He has a second house about an hour from where he is now and he has offered to let me live there even this past week i stayed there and he told me how happy he was that i was there.  He keeps telling me how me and the slaves will live in this house and I am now assuming that he and his new love will live elsewhere.  I knew he was keeping me from the new girl, and i knew about her from the time they met, I stayed because i did not really think it would last.  I have given him my everything and even until this last month he was trying to bred me with his baby.  He paid to have my tubes untied approx. 6 monthes ago.  (not cheap) .  The tattoos are from him and please dont get me wrong i love everyone that i have, though now i have a huge reminder everytime i look in the mirror.  I will leave, because i feel that what he is doing is wrong.  He wants to keep me hidden, but keep me as his slave, i am not sure that i am willing to be the "other woman" for the rest of my life.

(in reply to breatheasone)
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RE: Kinky men that prefer vanilla women - 5/23/2009 12:56:35 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		He has two houses and three women (and damned good looking ones).  And he's not satisfied.  Sad, really, to be that fortunate and not appreciate it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to redrose)
Profile   Post #: 20
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