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Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:18:03 PM   
lionesspsu


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline 		Ladies: I have a Sub that I have found pursuing another Mistress. I was quite clear before we began playing that I do not tolerate that without my permission (which would be rare) while we are playing. I do plan to drop him, since I demand loyalty and honesty above all else. What I wanted to hear thoughts about is whether I should tell him how I became aware of the deceit. On one hand, I think it would give him insight to 'be a better deceiver' with his next Mistress if I tell him where he went wrong. Would you tell him the how, or just the basics of why?

FYI: When I say pursuing, I don't mean chatting for conversation and casual friendship either.
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:22:44 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		From my experience, they don't ask how you found out... they are just freaked out that you did.  I might tell him and I might not, but I tend to keep some things close to my chest because they do learn to be better at the sneaky stuff.  I have watched more than a couple refine their game and some who watch dominant women so they can perfect their game.  I tend to do what makes it better for me in the situation and move on.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lionesspsu)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:23:02 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		I'd waste as little additional time on him as possible.  Let him know that you are aware of his deceit and that you have no further interest in him because of it, then move on to more productive and interesting things.  If you start explaining to him how you found out, he'll probably just try to worm his way back into your affections by explaining how you "got it wrong."

(in reply to lionesspsu)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:24:57 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		By this time, I'd already be referring to him in the past tense.

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"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to Venatrix)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:27:50 PM   
ikneel2you


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/1/2008
Status: offline 		Of course, this comes from the other side of the coin, but I wouldn't tell him a thing.  I'd dismiss him immediately, and tell him you wished him luck in his further pursuits.  Cut the tie, and let him bleed all over himself elsewhere.

(in reply to Venatrix)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:28:17 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		You are the Dominant, what do you care how or what you tell him? He screwed up, end of story.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to lionesspsu)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:30:29 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Protect your sources.  Don't tell him.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:33:10 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Protect your sources.  Don't tell him.



Oh c'mon DS, do you now how expensive the BDSM witness protection program is? I say tell the bastard what She knows, who said what and give everyone AK47 paint ball guns----where's your spirit of Dominant rage?

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:35:29 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face.  Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him.  Priceless! lol

< Message edited by Lockit -- 6/18/2009 5:36:54 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:41:09 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face.  Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him.  Priceless! lol


gawd, You are a wicked creature, I do adore You!

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:43:33 PM   
lionesspsu


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face. Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him. Priceless! lol


I like that...........I do have the urge to beat his ass - I mean really beat him - before i release him, rather than just cutting him loose calmly with little explanation.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:43:34 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL Cat... what is cool is that he will most likely read this and be transported to that moment... again! hehe

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:46:15 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lionesspsu



quote:

You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face. Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him. Priceless! lol


I like that...........I do have the urge to beat his ass - I mean really beat him - before i release him, rather than just cutting him loose calmly with little explanation.


LOL I understand the feeling well!  But don't do it!  I never wanted to bloody an ass before, but I did then and had just the right thing to bring that about... but... because I didn't, he didn't get over it as quickly.  A year later was still saying he wished I had.  No way will I give him that comfort of feeling punished and therefore able to move passed it easier.  I wanted him to remember... so he would be less likely to do it to someone else.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lionesspsu)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:46:55 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I guess I am confused by why you were considering telling him in the first place.  Do you want closure?  Do you think there's even a small chance you misinterpreted the situation and think he deserves an opportunity to explain himself?  Do you want to be sure he knows that he didn't make a fool out of you?

It seems to me that the question behind your question is, "How can I hold my head up high despite this?"  Is that correct, or am I misunderstanding?


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:55:32 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		On the whole, I'd say: don't tell him how you found out.  To me, this is a little like knowing conjuring tricks - there's a strong urge to tell how you did it, but in the long run and for the higher good it's damaging.  You might spoil it for others, later.  Another woman who he might try to cheat, further down the line, might not be able to catch him out. 


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to lionesspsu)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 5:58:41 PM   
lionesspsu


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I guess I am confused by why you were considering telling him in the first place. Do you want closure? Do you think there's even a small chance you misinterpreted the situation and think he deserves an opportunity to explain himself? Do you want to be sure he knows that he didn't make a fool out of you?

It seems to me that the question behind your question is, "How can I hold my head up high despite this?" Is that correct, or am I misunderstanding?


Well, I think to be honest, I want to do what would be most bothersome to him. I hate the disloyalty and want to punish. I also don't want to make him a 'better' deceiver by telling him how I became aware of his activities, but i was anicipating denial from him initially.

I've also considered not telling him why at all; maybe just that I no longer have any use for him.

Like I said, basically, whatever will amount to the most 'punishment' to him!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 6:15:36 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		It will scramble his brains just for him to be told that you know, Lioness.  You can watch how hard his jaw hits the floor.  Knowing how you caught him will only give him leverage - the means to challenge you, as Venatrix says.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to lionesspsu)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 6:30:14 PM   
GrizzlyBear


Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
Status: offline 		I'd just tell him in person that you know what he has been doing, to get out and never come back.  Do it when he is expecting to meet for play.  If you know who the Mistress is that he is courting, you might let her know that he is now free, and why.  I'm sure she will appreciate knowing that he is no longer attached.  If she ever knew that he was...

_____________________________

GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 6:37:14 PM   
lionesspsu


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline 		Grizzly:

You think I should tell the other Mistress, then. Not just leave that alone? I'd like to inform her, but then I think that maybe i should not interfere beyond my own interests?

(in reply to GrizzlyBear)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 6:49:30 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I talked to two women in my situation and they were both very glad I did.  Recently there were a couple real players in my state and I had caught them at a number of things and one had a criminal history of domestic abuse, stalking and the like with multiple women.  One had a dom profile where he said he was experienced and had collared two women and was presnting as new to bdsm with others... most likely looking for a quick hook up and a home since mama was telling him it was time to go.  I didn't know what his game was exactly but later learned more.  I contacted two dominant's in this area and said something very mild and both were glad I spoke to them.  The one they knew about and the other wasn't known about, but busted then because he was working his way through us all.

I then learned of others that they had experienced and I had talked to and knew to be less than someone I would want in my life.  I was glad they talked to me in case I hadn't known.  But I am not talking slander here.  There was proof for all that was shared either way.

If it is someone I know or could run into in person or even here... I will try to let them know there is something up without looking bad myself.  It isn't revenge, it is simply that I would hate for something to happen to someone when I know there may be a danger to them.  It only backfired on me once and I survived it.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to lionesspsu)
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