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RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:11:01 PM   
LadyArakney


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		I agree, that you should not let him know how you found out.  It's happened to Me before and I ended up knowing the other Domme and called her to let her know what the situation was.   She in turn arranged a time for the sub (I use the term loosely), and the look on his face was priceless when he came in only to see the both of there waiting for him.

(in reply to evilgagger)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:11:48 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 189
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline 		I like the bondage idea and think that it would be a good idea to have him in bondage and tell him that you know,I wouldnt bother with the disipline at all he is not worth it,no doubt he has been a "choosy Susie" in the past as he seems to be convinced he got away with it,yes I would tell the other mistress for no other reason then to let her know it may happen to her too so dont get real attached.Good Luck.

(in reply to evilgagger)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:13:44 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: evilgagger

The way I look at it is like this. If the sub is happy with his mistress he would not be looking somewhere else. Have you ever thought about what you were doing that made him cheat on you!!!!


I haven't read anything after this post... but... Have YOU ever heard of sex addiction?  You cannot blame someone for the faults. weakness, dishonor or failure of another person.  That person has a choice and he/she can be honorable and address whatever problem they have with their partner rather than go the weak ass way of being a player.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to evilgagger)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:16:40 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: evilgagger

The way I look at it is like this. If the sub is happy with his mistress he would not be looking somewhere else. Have you ever thought about what you were doing that made him cheat on you!!!!


Yeah.... the sub made the sub cheat on his Mistress.

SHAME! I SHAME YOU. YOU ARE SHAMED!

People are responsible for their own damned actions AND reactions. You have a choice.

edited because i find it funny that i did the same thing as lockit and we thought in a like fashion.


< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 6/18/2009 8:21:18 PM >

(in reply to evilgagger)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:18:46 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: evilgagger

It seems what I said got you worked up!!!! Hmmm I was just wondering.


Don't flatter yourself.  It would take more than your pathetic remarks to get me worked up.

(in reply to evilgagger)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:27:17 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
But it demonstrated brilliant social skills for him to post this on the Ask A Mistress forum, don't you think?


Hey, Red.  Shall we start taking side bets now on how long it will take for the name change and new profile?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:29:53 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL...

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:42:12 PM   
lionesspsu


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I agree, that you should not let him know how you found out. It's happened to Me before and I ended up knowing the other Domme and called her to let her know what the situation was. She in turn arranged a time for the sub (I use the term loosely), and the look on his face was priceless when he came in only to see the both of there waiting for him.


That would be perfect! If only she agrees to it!

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:49:46 PM   
lionesspsu


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN

quote:

ORIGINAL: lionesspsu

Ladies: I have a Sub that I have found pursuing another Mistress. I was quite clear
YOU made it clear...he knew
before we began playing that I do not tolerate that without my permission (which would be rare) while we are playing.
YOU made it clear ahead of time

I do plan to drop him, since I demand loyalty and honesty above all else.
ABSOLUTELY ...bye bye baby
What I wanted to hear thoughts about is whether I should tell him how I became aware of the deceit
NO dont't tell how..these little bastards need to sweat and wonder if there is a DOMME hotline..

. On one hand, I think it would give him insight to 'be a better deceiver' with his next Mistress if I tell him where he went wrong. Would you tell him the how, or just the basics of why?
yep just the basics..

FYI: When I say pursuing, I don't mean chatting for conversation and casual friendship either.
I had this occur and I accidentally met the MISTRESS on here..
due to not many of us in the city... we set up a little hotline thing and a heads up thing for the province...
players*abusers* etc..yes I know it is easy to make shit up but it is easy to tell who is too..
oh and being the "fat bitchs" we are( oh wait that is another thread_...anyway..
ONE made arrangements to meet a him and BOTH were there..
accidental self GS.???.ahahahahhahahahah

 
and the other woman will be most HAPPY for the info...
I am sure
 
how unfortuante for you  and NOW him...
 
GQ




I love the idea of actually having a hotline for this type of crap. I also love the idea of making him think that there is one, even if there isn't! He'll forever think that he's made some Domme 'blacklist' or something. That would be funny!

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 8:58:54 PM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		yes it is great wheather there is a..HOTLINE .or not
 
When we met the sub...  the 2 of us..we
said/..
""Oh we have our ways.."and " WE stick together due to integrity"

ALSO right away when I moved here several DOMS messaged to invite me to things but gave a heads up on 2 guys who were very abusive..so I could tell other subs..in the area who messaged
one guy makes it so the girls can never have kids..
ya prick master..
but now he wonders why all are running the other way...

and yes  one could get on the list by a spurned asshole..but it usually is found out quickly..

 MIND FUCK is better than tanning his pointed little ass..ahahahah

GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 6/18/2009 9:00:41 PM >

(in reply to lionesspsu)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 9:16:26 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		This Hotline sounds like a good idea.

AH GQ I want to smother you with Lurve for the way you put words together. Note it is not Love it is Lurve. Lurve is slightly more idiotic, drooly, and Platonic.

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/18/2009 10:43:32 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		FR
I agree that you should dump him immediately, and possibly involve the other Mistress... but I also have a word of CAUTION

Do not punish him physically before you dump him. IF you leave marks he could possibly cry domestic violence just out of revenge for being dumped.

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 12:28:59 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic


AH GQ I want to smother you with Lurve for the way you put words together.


awwwwwwwwww baby dolly..BOOK A FLIGHT..
GQ

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 1:32:54 AM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		if you want... you could invite the other dommonate to come meet him with you...

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 3:14:55 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

FR
I agree that you should dump him immediately, and possibly involve the other Mistress... but I also have a word of CAUTION

Do not punish him physically before you dump him. IF you leave marks he could possibly cry domestic violence just out of revenge for being dumped.


I agree with Calandra - don't lay a hand on him for exactly that reason.

Cut him loose - dont even bother telling him why. Suspense will bug a human far longer than shame. It would be even more interesting if the other Domme took the same approach. All of a sudden, without explanation, StealthSub is now out TWO Dommes and no idea why.

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 3:38:57 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

You could do what I did... hehe... Woke him up binding him to the bed with an oh goodie look on his face.  Told him what I knew and watched as his eyes got very huge realising he was bound and I would most likely want to kill him.  Priceless! lol


It happens, apparently, Lockit:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article6530134.ece

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 4:26:38 AM   
MsValentine


Posts: 82
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline 		I tend to agree with those who suggest just dumping the errant sub with no explanation.

I think this, if I were in the situation, would make me feel like I was preserving my feelings as much as possible, cutting him completely out of my life and moving on.

Any talk or revelations of how one found out about his infidelity would suggest you gave a toss. Once I knew someone had done that to me, I would be dead to them and them to me. I don't want to know the 'whats' and 'wherefores'. He could have talked to me about any problems in our relationship before seeing another Domme behind my back. That was a deliberate and calculated act of disobedience and disloyalty.

I think I might just say I was bored with him, he didnt have the calibre of character or intellect that I was seeking and that he would be best off with someone less discerning and then put down the phone or walk out the door. Nasty but given what you know, amusing.

< Message edited by MsValentine -- 6/19/2009 4:27:42 AM >

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 4:56:30 AM   
LadyLou


Posts: 110
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Lioness,


I'm sorry for what you are going through right now. Your priority should be to yourself and your long term happiness, imo, you'll find that much quicker with closure. There would be immediate gratification in revenge, but would it leave you feeling the need for more? Or will it give you that closure and peace?


Practically, I loudly echo the sentiments here – please do not take revenge with BDSM. That can and most probably will come back to bite you in the ass. Fuck with his brain by all means, but don't beat him, you risk getting yourself arrested. I also agree not to let him know how you found out, the urge to tell him how you discovered his deceit must be strong. In the long run, he'll most likely learn how to get better at covering himself.


Also, if I were the other woman involved, and I didn't know he was cheating, then I would want to know. Don't expect any thanks for it, or any kind of comradery. Also be fully prepared for her to be complicit in it, or for her to just not care. But if she wasn't and she does care, then that's devastating news to hear, and the messenger always gets it in the ass, and at best, she'll treat you with suspicion. Also, if you tell her before you get your closure with him, she is almost certainly going to take matters into her own hands and alert him before you have a chance to deal with it from your side – your priority is to yourself first and foremost and and finding your peace with it.


Whether you fuck with him, or just walk away, make sure you do so with your head held high. When you look back at this incident, you'll be glad you did.

(in reply to lionesspsu)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 5:18:14 AM   
kttqnp


Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline 		Although many other interesting issues have been raised, the OP's original question was whether or not to let the deceitful one know HOW she found him out.  I would have to side with those who advise against giving him that information.  I agree, why give him the tools to be a better cheater in the future?  Cheaters very seldom change their ways, and knowing how to be a better liar will only help him hurt some other Domme in the future.  Lionesspsu, it sounds as though there was some kind of personal connection there, and I'm sorry that he betrayed that.  Walk away with your head held high.  The future holds better for you, and karma's a bitch.

(in reply to lionesspsu)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Deceitful sub advice needed - 6/19/2009 5:52:37 AM   
lionesspsu


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2009
Status: offline 		I appreciate all the advice; I've slept on it now too. I think i will cut him loose with little specific explanation. I will try to contact the other Mistress too, so if she is not on board he will know the answer from her anyway. If she is, maybe I can convince her to do the same. If not, it'll still let him wonder how I found him out.
I will not beat him, although I want to. he probably would be the type to call the police on me.

I'll let the results be known.

Thanks everyone!

(in reply to kttqnp)
Profile   Post #: 60
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