quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

Cyber sex and cyber ds would make me feel silly, in fact cyber relationships in general would not be enough for me.  But if cyber works for someone else, I think they should engage in it all they want.

quote:


Corrupted




Posts: 911
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline Cyber sex and cyber ds would make me feel silly, in fact cyber relationships in general would not be enough for me. But if cyber works for someone else, I think they should engage in it all they want.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

First of all, welcome back CP--nice to see you again.
 
This is a topic that I have been evaluating for the last several weeks--then the realization hit Me like, " I could have had a V-8"--
 
I work as a strategist in international marketing--My day starts when the sun hits India and follows the sun west to china--I work at home--100% of My life is cyber--emails and conference calls. ( and I gurantee I have more social interaction on a day across 30 countries than most people have in reality in a year.)
 
My check gets deposited virtually and I pay My bills online--cyber.
 
I chat with My best friends, two of whom I have never met because I met them through work and we've been best friends for 5+ years--cyber.
 
I educated My UM and submitted her test scores and grade passages online---cyber.
 
I get My daily uplift from My tarot reading online--cyber.
 
Cyber allows Me to have the freedom I need by providing Me an income, get her homeschooled, keep in touch with friends and have plenty of time for a real life.
 
Its also a means for Me to broaden My search and protect My ass--ets while I'm trying to decide if Joe Schmoo is a freak or not.
 
We all seek relationships via different mediums for a variety of reasons--the internet has enabled that broad capability---how can I poopoo someone who wants to start, build or have a cyber relationship, when that's how I earn a living, sure it isn't a relationship, but My living depends on these people, most of whom I will NEVER meet in real life--so I have changed My stance, if its what fits your world, go for it, sure there is no guarantee that the person at the other end isn't a freak, but then we don't know that about the guy in the library either.
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

*shrugs* I don't think there's any case against it per se, I just don't find the idea appealing at all, especially with someone I've never even met. I do worry that people can mistake experience in cyber-BDSM and online-D/s for their *actual* desires and needs - even the mental stuff can feel very different in person! My other big concern is that a lot of people make a commitment to someone online, and have sex with them or play in a hotel room or otherwise unsafe situation on the first date. It works for some folks, and I've heard from several who've had nothing but good experiences, but it's way too risky for my taste.

quote:

*shrugs* I don't think there's any case against it per se, I just don't find the idea appealing at all, especially with someone I've never even met. I do worry that people can mistake experience in cyber-BDSM and online-D/s for their *actual* desires and needs - even the mental stuff can feel very different in person! My other big concern is that a lot of people make a commitment to someone online, and have sex with them or play in a hotel room or otherwise unsafe situation on the first date. It works for some folks, and I've heard from several who've had nothing but good experiences, but it's way too risky for my taste.

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: kuriouswitch

Master and I are in a LDR, we've been able to meet once but it's difficult to arrange the funds for both of us until I can move out there next year but until I do, we tend to cyber and have phone sex quite a bit. It's not as good as the real thing but it does keep that aspect of the relationship going and Master also uses it as a tool to try new things with me, to see my reaction as well as explain how it would work in real to me.

Thankfully I have a vivid imagination and Master is great at describing details so "getting there" isn't a problem, all it's really missing is the smells and the feel.

quote:

Master and I are in a LDR, we've been able to meet once but it's difficult to arrange the funds for both of us until I can move out there next year but until I do, we tend to cyber and have phone sex quite a bit. It's not as good as the real thing but it does keep that aspect of the relationship going and Master also uses it as a tool to try new things with me, to see my reaction as well as explain how it would work in real to me.

Thankfully I have a vivid imagination and Master is great at describing details so "getting there" isn't a problem, all it's really missing is the smells and the feel.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince


marie,

Not to argue, but if you had asignificant other that decided that he/she wanted to interact on a cyber bassis, you would say NO?

CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

First of all, welcome back CP--nice to see you again.
 
This is a topic that I have been evaluating for the last several weeks--then the realization hit Me like, " I could have had a V-8"--
 
I work as a strategist in international marketing--My day starts when the sun hits India and follows the sun west to china--I work at home--100% of My life is cyber--emails and conference calls. ( and I gurantee I have more social interaction on a day across 30 countries than most people have in reality in a year.)
 
My check gets deposited virtually and I pay My bills online--cyber.
 
I chat with My best friends, two of whom I have never met because I met them through work and we've been best friends for 5+ years--cyber.
 
I educated My UM and submitted her test scores and grade passages online---cyber.
 
I get My daily uplift from My tarot reading online--cyber.
 
Cyber allows Me to have the freedom I need by providing Me an income, get her homeschooled, keep in touch with friends and have plenty of time for a real life.
 
Its also a means for Me to broaden My search and protect My ass--ets while I'm trying to decide if Joe Schmoo is a freak or not.
 
We all seek relationships via different mediums for a variety of reasons--the internet has enabled that broad capability---how can I poopoo someone who wants to start, build or have a cyber relationship, when that's how I earn a living, sure it isn't a relationship, but My living depends on these people, most of whom I will NEVER meet in real life--so I have changed My stance, if its what fits your world, go for it, sure there is no guarantee that the person at the other end isn't a freak, but then we don't know that about the guy in the library either.
 

quote:

This is a topic that I have been evaluating for the last several weeks--then the realization hit Me like, " I could have had a V-8"--

I work as a strategist in international marketing--My day starts when the sun hits India and follows the sun west to china--I work at home--100% of My life is cyber--emails and conference calls. ( and I gurantee I have more social interaction on a day across 30 countries than most people have in reality in a year.)

My check gets deposited virtually and I pay My bills online--cyber.

I chat with My best friends, two of whom I have never met because I met them through work and we've been best friends for 5+ years--cyber.

I educated My UM and submitted her test scores and grade passages online---cyber.

I get My daily uplift from My tarot reading online--cyber.

Cyber allows Me to have the freedom I need by providing Me an income, get her homeschooled, keep in touch with friends and have plenty of time for a real life.

Its also a means for Me to broaden My search and protect My ass--ets while I'm trying to decide if Joe Schmoo is a freak or not.

We all seek relationships via different mediums for a variety of reasons--the internet has enabled that broad capability---how can I poopoo someone who wants to start, build or have a cyber relationship, when that's how I earn a living, sure it isn't a relationship, but My living depends on these people, most of whom I will NEVER meet in real life--so I have changed My stance, if its what fits your world, go for it, sure there is no guarantee that the person at the other end isn't a freak, but then we don't know that about the guy in the library either.


_____________________________

quote:

it's interactive masturbation.

quote:

but those that can are fortunate as a fill in until realtime can happen.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

i view cyber as part of the "pre-lims". It's the application, first interview, second interview...at some point, i expect to start the job. That's RL.
i also think cyber may maintain  a RL relationship that goes LD for some reason. But even that can only be temporary.

Keep in mind, this is my personal opinion,,,and only works for me.
 
 

quote:

view cyber as part of the "pre-lims". It's the application, first interview, second interview...at some point, i expect to start the job. That's RL.
i also think cyber may maintain a RL relationship that goes LD for some reason. But even that can only be temporary.

Keep in mind, this is my personal opinion,,,and only works for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQoJo81lujk

quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

CP,

yes indeed. I tried it and it did nothing for me. The contact is not enough for me. Furthermore i
write very fast and tend to get bored real quick.


To make it clear i do not belong to the "Only touch is real" camp, but if i do something like S/M and/or
sex, i need concentration and i want to feel my body. I will not do that in front of a PC.

Do you have a problem if people are absolute sure about something that contradicts the
way you do something?

ZD

ZD, Now why would I have a problem with a contrary view? Indeed not thus the asking for positions on the matter. I do however will sometimes attempt to expand ona reply as I did with you. There was no negative input implied.

CP

quote:

CP,

yes indeed. I tried it and it did nothing for me. The contact is not enough for me. Furthermore i
write very fast and tend to get bored real quick.


To make it clear i do not belong to the "Only touch is real" camp, but if i do something like S/M and/or
sex, i need concentration and i want to feel my body. I will not do that in front of a PC.

Do you have a problem if people are absolute sure about something that contradicts the
way you do something?

ZD

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
Not to argue, but if you had asignificant other that decided that he/she wanted to interact on a cyber bassis, you would say NO?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

In the past when Cyber comes up there is always alot of negative comments re; it not real, its fake; I need to touch skin etc, etc.
It is granted that there are many, most I suspect, that simply cannot get their mind to bend around the concept; but those that can are fortunate as a fill in until realtime can happen.

For my part when I mentor new folks coming into the path, I encouage it as a means of determining personality traits, sexual proclivities and a glimpse into real time with that other side of the slash.

What sayeth you pro or con and why?

I think that cyber has its place, but it is a completely different animal than physical interaction. In a way, to me, it is like getting immersed in a really good novel... great story line, lots of interesting concepts... but on the down side, it doesn't always transition well to experiences outside of sitting with that book.

Cyber is a great way to learn about how -ideas- work for you. It works best with things that are predominantly -mental- and -emotional-, but which don't require a huge physical component. Cyber is -not- a good way to figure out if you're going to be compatible to live with someone, or whether you'll fit in with, say, a poly family (or whether you even like -in person- poly), or how to do things like bondage, temp/permanent piercings, or anything else that requires potentially risky activities done to another person's body. It's also important to remember that some things that a person may do easily or willingly are not going to be feasible in a physical situation. I think people tend to forget this -- not just about the -other- person, but about themselves as well. For example, I can't kneel. I might -want- to kneel, say, to not make my dad feel out of place when I join him at church (one of the few things I do -just- because it makes him feel better), but even sitting with my dad at Catholic mass, they're going to have to do the kneel thing without me. I have an artificial joint that is on its last legs (only a nominal pun intended here), and I'll be darned if I'll pay for a replacement just to genuflect. It has nothing to do with my beliefs -- if it were a 'belief' problem, I wouldn't even go to church -- but it's something nice I do for my dad, that makes him feel good, so avoiding the 'trappings' doesn't make sense when you're already in the -big- trapping... but it just doesn't translate to what my body can manage, no matter how much my mind and my love for my dad may want me to.

I think there's a place for cyber. I think it's a good place to explore if you can't get out there and do right now, and it may even be a long-term pleasure for individuals who are happy sticking to that medium. I think that it has a lot of limitations, though, and too much focus there when attempting to transition into a more physical situation can lead to unrealistic expectations of what living full-time in a stylized manner could be or would be like, especially for those who have no physical experience to bolster their cyber-imagined expectations.

Dame Calla

quote:

I think that cyber has its place, but it is a completely different animal than physical interaction. In a way, to me, it is like getting immersed in a really good novel... great story line, lots of interesting concepts... but on the down side, it doesn't always transition well to experiences outside of sitting with that book.

Cyber is a great way to learn about how -ideas- work for you. It works best with things that are predominantly -mental- and -emotional-, but which don't require a huge physical component. Cyber is -not- a good way to figure out if you're going to be compatible to live with someone, or whether you'll fit in with, say, a poly family (or whether you even like -in person- poly), or how to do things like bondage, temp/permanent piercings, or anything else that requires potentially risky activities done to another person's body. It's also important to remember that some things that a person may do easily or willingly are not going to be feasible in a physical situation. I think people tend to forget this -- not just about the -other- person, but about themselves as well. For example, I can't kneel. I might -want- to kneel, say, to not make my dad feel out of place when I join him at church (one of the few things I do -just- because it makes him feel better), but even sitting with my dad at Catholic mass, they're going to have to do the kneel thing without me. I have an artificial joint that is on its last legs (only a nominal pun intended here), and I'll be darned if I'll pay for a replacement just to genuflect. It has nothing to do with my beliefs -- if it were a 'belief' problem, I wouldn't even go to church -- but it's something nice I do for my dad, that makes him feel good, so avoiding the 'trappings' doesn't make sense when you're already in the -big- trapping... but it just doesn't translate to what my body can manage, no matter how much my mind and my love for my dad may want me to.

I think there's a place for cyber. I think it's a good place to explore if you can't get out there and do right now, and it may even be a long-term pleasure for individuals who are happy sticking to that medium. I think that it has a lot of limitations, though, and too much focus there when attempting to transition into a more physical situation can lead to unrealistic expectations of what living full-time in a stylized manner could be or would be like, especially for those who have no physical experience to bolster their cyber-imagined expectations.

Dame Calla