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RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 3:52:44 PM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		To me "under consideration" is just a formal D/s way of saying "we're getting to know each other."

Some people don't like the notion, but I believe "under consideration" applies to  Dominants as well. A sub has every right to decide if the potenial Dom/me is a good match for them prior to collaring.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 3:57:11 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		And I hate to break it to the domly ones, it is happening anyway if you've got a subbie with something more than rocks in his/her head.  I am looking at him just as hard, if not harder, as he is looking at me.

lovingpet

(in reply to Goddess2002)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 4:07:39 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		i dunno

have we become so jaded? so fearful of being played that we feel a need to state to the world "Under Consideration"? which to me says... possible collaring ahead, wait for the upate!

when we date, we use the term.. girl/boy friend. when married/ husband or wife. when engaged, fiance

Master isnt my boy friend, nor is he my husband, nor my fiance... so.. makes perfect sense to use the expression... in a relationship. it cant be defined yet... im not collared.

just seems to cut all the questions out, ya know?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 4:11:38 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Thank you, lovingpet, for answering My rambled questions. 

I did forget to mention in My prior post that, yes, it does work both ways.  It's a chance for both to see if the dynamic with that particular person on the other side of the kneel is a good fit.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 4:17:58 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		This is why I don't even really bother with the terminology at all.  It really doesn't do what I need it to do.  What I placed on my profile states that yes, I am involved to a significant level with someone and still leaves room for people to still approach me based on the information provided.  Under consideration, as demonstrated by this thread, has so many potential meanings that it is really quite useless for communicating much of anything.  I will just use plain English at this point.  Once some of these terms can be operationalize a bit, I can better use them.  Until then, there is too much grey.

Oh and you are welcome LP!

lovingpet

< Message edited by lovingpet -- 6/29/2009 4:18:38 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 6:41:35 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brandi1379
It is easy for me to give myself over to this man cause we know everything about eachother, other then the pysical part. 


No, you don't because you've never seen him interact with the rest of the world.

How does he react if someone cuts him off driving? Is he a screaming road rager? You don't know.

Does he chew with his mouth open? You don't know.

How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up? You don't know.

These are all things that you'd probably find out on a first date, if he picked you up and took you out to dinner. For all you know, he could be a complete ass to rest the of the world.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to brandi1379)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 7:58:36 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up?



I think I said this somewhere on a thread last week.

It's very old hat, but I still use this a lot to help Me ascertain certain opinions.  I'm sure some people will say that it is judgmental, but I can't recall a single instance where it has backfired.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Under Consideration - 6/29/2009 8:04:59 PM   
janiebelle


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle

Well, I have stumbled upon more evidence that people see "under consideration" in many different ways.
As I logged in on the other side, up pops a profile with this last sentence. 

You may have noticed I visited your profile...This indictes that you are under consideration. If you know this is who you are and what you want, you are to contact me.
 
I couldn't help but shake my head and groan.
j


wait... ok.. possibly a stupid moment here.. but does this mean if i view their profile, i am under their consideration? or is it because they viewed mine? or does it really matter? sounds like they may be considering everyone and hoping someone buys into it... or am i reading this wrong?


Nope.  No stupid moment.  I have no more a clue than you what was going through this "dom's" mind. 
If there's all this considering going on, I missed the memo.
j

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 3:36:52 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up?



I think I said this somewhere on a thread last week.

It's very old hat, but I still use this a lot to help Me ascertain certain opinions.  I'm sure some people will say that it is judgmental, but I can't recall a single instance where it has backfired.



Agreed wholeheartedly....there is SO much you can learn from a person by observing how they deal with the little idiosyncrasies in life...

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 6:52:38 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Goddess2002

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up?



I think I said this somewhere on a thread last week.

It's very old hat, but I still use this a lot to help Me ascertain certain opinions.  I'm sure some people will say that it is judgmental, but I can't recall a single instance where it has backfired.



Agreed wholeheartedly....there is SO much you can learn from a person by observing how they deal with the little idiosyncrasies in life...
Absolutely. From the position of being submissive, I think it's very telling to see how he treats someone that is in a subserviant position when something goes wrong.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Goddess2002)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 7:00:04 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up?



I think I said this somewhere on a thread last week.

It's very old hat, but I still use this a lot to help Me ascertain certain opinions.  I'm sure some people will say that it is judgmental, but I can't recall a single instance where it has backfired.



When I first met my son's future, now ex, in-laws I immediately took a dislike to them. We met for dinner at a restaurant and both his girl friend, and her mother, were total bitches to the waitress. I was livid, but for my son, did my best to maintain. I really wish I had just grabbed my son by the ear and drug him out of there. If only it had been that easy.

I got two great grand terrors out of the deal, so it's all good.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 7:17:09 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Goddess2002

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up?



I think I said this somewhere on a thread last week.

It's very old hat, but I still use this a lot to help Me ascertain certain opinions.  I'm sure some people will say that it is judgmental, but I can't recall a single instance where it has backfired.



Agreed wholeheartedly....there is SO much you can learn from a person by observing how they deal with the little idiosyncrasies in life...
Absolutely. From the position of being submissive, I think it's very telling to see how he treats someone that is in a subserviant position when something goes wrong.


I have to concur as well.  Last my partner and I were together, we spent over two hours waiting for our meal in a fairly casual dining establishment.  We were both visibly irritated by this.  I asked him if he wanted to speak with management about it or would like me to do so.  He declined stating that the small things just weren't worth it, but for us both to remember to be kind to the waiter since he seemed quite stressed and scrambling.  This was very telling to me.  He observed that there was an issue bigger than our current irritation and showed benevolence for the person taking care of us because he could see he was doing his best.  It meant more to me than he thinks.

lovingpet

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 7:18:51 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up?



I think I said this somewhere on a thread last week.

It's very old hat, but I still use this a lot to help Me ascertain certain opinions.  I'm sure some people will say that it is judgmental, but I can't recall a single instance where it has backfired.



When I first met my son's future, now ex, in-laws I immediately took a dislike to them. We met for dinner at a restaurant and both his girl friend, and her mother, were total bitches to the waitress. I was livid, but for my son, did my best to maintain. I really wish I had just grabbed my son by the ear and drug him out of there. If only it had been that easy.

I got two great grand terrors out of the deal, so it's all good.


I have close ties with someone like that.  I simply refuse to eat out with her.  Even her own family is embarrassed by her behavior. 

lovingpet

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 7:26:05 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Goddess2002

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
How does he treat the waitress when the order gets screwed up?



I think I said this somewhere on a thread last week.

It's very old hat, but I still use this a lot to help Me ascertain certain opinions.  I'm sure some people will say that it is judgmental, but I can't recall a single instance where it has backfired.



Agreed wholeheartedly....there is SO much you can learn from a person by observing how they deal with the little idiosyncrasies in life...
Absolutely. From the position of being submissive, I think it's very telling to see how he treats someone that is in a subserviant position when something goes wrong.


I have to concur as well.  Last my partner and I were together, we spent over two hours waiting for our meal in a fairly casual dining establishment.  We were both visibly irritated by this.  I asked him if he wanted to speak with management about it or would like me to do so.  He declined stating that the small things just weren't worth it, but for us both to remember to be kind to the waiter since he seemed quite stressed and scrambling.  This was very telling to me.  He observed that there was an issue bigger than our current irritation and showed benevolence for the person taking care of us because he could see he was doing his best.  It meant more to me than he thinks.

lovingpet


you know, speaking from inside the industry, its so refreshing to hear what was said about the waiter. often times, the kitchen staff is overwhelmed.. its not often its the wait staffs fault. if someone is scrambling to try their best to please, refills and frequent check backs to the table, not dodging the dining area... then its typically not their fault. you may see a waiter with only four tables. four times sometimes nine servers. 36 tables (yay!, i can do math) all hitting the kitchen staff within an hour. imagine cooking for 36 tables... average 4 people per table..144 people.. between sometimes 6 cooks? 24 people per person. the math can be staggering, the reality is, everyone jams a restaurant at the same time, and expects food almost immediately. now, two hours is a bit absurb. if i had been your server, your food would have been free. dont know what the outcome was... just wanted to comment on how great it is to hear of a Dominant man actually taking into consideration something beyond his stomach in this situation.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 6/30/2009 7:27:15 AM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 8:11:20 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I found it very impressive.  I have been on the restaurant side of things too and I know how insane it can get.  I know folks are usually doing their best.  I only take issue if, after numerous visits at different times, I see a consistent lack of performance.  I will not attempt to determine where the issue lies, but simply state my concerns to a manager.  They more likely than I know where the issue is and can work to correct it.  Some are poorly mananged and nothing ever changes while some improve, but for goodness sakes it is rarely the server's fault or even the kitchen staff.

I know that waiter came to refill drinks so often that we actually joked about it taking longer for our food to get there than it did for the tea to take effect.  He had a levity in the situation that was refreshing and really appealed to me on many levels.  I am glad to know that when I am working at things just as hard as I possibly can and the outcome isn't going the way we would like, he is not at the ready to demolish me for it.  He is in touch with real life and how life really is.  I wouldn't have gotten this insight into him had we not been sitting face to face in that restaurant.  It gives a lot of credence to the way he treats me when I fail due to life situations.  Without it, I had no way of knowing if he was saying one thing while simmering and thinking up evil on the other side of the screen.  Okay, so he's always thinking up evil, but that's beside the point! LOL

Are we off topic now? 

lovingpet 

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 9:24:38 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		im sure we are. im sure someone will complain. but, eh, thats also real life and reality and how conversations go. then again, some forget that as well.

tazzy

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 10:07:03 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		I was talking to a slave girl who contacted me through another avenue, and I mentioned that I had a profile here.  She made a two line profile with no picture while she was talking to me and had 14 mails within 5 minutes.  I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that there are a good number of desperate men out there staring at the screen and hitting the refresh button hoping to be the first to mail any new profile that appears.

I think it's understandable that these sexual desperados would try to get a girl to hang out the "Under Consideration" sign if they are lucky enough to snag a return mail or even a brief conversation from her.  After all, they might not get another bite for some time.  Who knows, they might get lucky and find that she's new enough and naive enough to believe that's "how it's done". 

In short, dude, you can't blame a guy for trying.  If you want to mail a little hottie that caught your eye but has run the Under Consideration flag up the pole, go right ahead.  Of course, you can bet that the dude who told her to do it will tell her that you are the lowest of the low, and a dishonorable disrespector of the online master's creed if you do, but what the hell. 

Good luck.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 6/30/2009 10:10:46 AM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Under Consideration - 6/30/2009 10:26:22 AM   
MissJanice2


Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

Is this a joke?

How about going to some posh down town store to pick out new shoes and an outfit.  When you get there the sign reads: Closed - Under Consideration of new management/Slightly possibly chance of buy out sometime soon

Just because someone is too lazy, unable to or lacks the negotiating skills to close a deal and reap the reward does not mean I can not or vice versa.

For I/we if the decision is made to bring in another I know it will be a very important decision.  I know I want to keep all options open(void when open or prodded all sale final).  Truthfully though I do not desire to limit someones ability to make an intelligent and informed decision.  If you like DomJoJo better than me that is your loss :)  I will also maintain control of every aspect of the situation as I never desire to pay a restocking fee because of my fault or hers.

As I only have less than a week here I might be missing something.  But this seems like a cowards way to 'seclude' the sub/slave while he/she buys time.  Subs/slaves do you tell your friends, "He has me under consideration it is going great!"  If a female is marked UC is this something I really need to respect by not speaking with her?  Are there unwritten rules here?  I know I know I can ask her.  However, my question is are there any general rules of engagement that I am not yet aware of?

What do you do?  How do you feel when UC?  What do you do you do when you mark someone UC(what are you considering).
E




The joke is on you Esinn.
 
Respectfully,
 
Mistress_Jan

_____________________________

Do not try to measure weight loss by pounds. Eat healthy and let it work slowly to achieve your goal.

(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Under Consideration - 7/14/2009 9:58:00 PM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline 		I forgot about this thread.  I had a chance to review it.  Thanks for the great insight all.

_____________________________

Let's break the law

(in reply to MissJanice2)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Under Consideration - 7/15/2009 2:00:45 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I would never ask a potential sub to put herself "under consideration" or to limit her contact with others, be thay Dom or sub. If I could not trust the person I was interested in to be able to talk with all and sundry without losing whatever we had been building, then I could not trust her (or him) at all.
To me placing somebody "under consideration" is one of two possible things:
1) the relationship is in some way abusive or manipulative and the Dom wants to limit the sub's contact with outside opinion, or
2) The Dom does not trust the bond that has been established and therefore does not trust the sub to be able to resist the charms of others.

Either way it is not something I would ever do.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Esinn)
Profile   Post #: 100
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