Rainfire
Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
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quote:
One issue that has arisen for me in the last week, which surprised me a great deal, is the stance that some people within the BDSM community take towards
people who may live in separate countries, yet conduct genuine, meaningful D/s relationships. Someone in the community actually made the assertion last week that my Master and i were simply "playing online", that i am not owned, simply because i am not physically wearing His collar. This thread actually makes a great follow-on from the thread "Feeling owned without being collared" that was posted some days ago. It makes me sad and somewhat appalled that some people within our own community judge a book by its cover, so to speak.
i am not a negative person and hate finger-pointing, however, i am interested to find out what others' views are on this issue. If two people are sincere, love eachother and are committed to eachother, have laid the groundwork for a relationship across the board,which transcends a D/s situation, it doesn't mean that they are "playing online" (i think the reason why i find this particular phrase offensive is the connotation of falseness and duplicity that it has) simply because they might live in separate continents. i think it all depends on what is in the heart of the Dom/Master and the sub/slave. Love is love, trust is trust, no matter what continent
one party may live in. A collar is merely a physical symbol made of leather or steel, the spiritual and emotional bond between Master/slave or Dom/sub is what truly matters.
i guess the statement that i was confronted with last week from a Dom, kind of threw me, as we get enough rubbish from those outside the community that don't always understand the dynamic of D/s or M/s relationships and may leap to awful conclusions of pain and non-consensual acts. It saddens me that there is a degree of prejudice WITHIN the BDSM community when we should all show solidarity, empathy and support one another instead of throwing stones at our own "peeps". There's enough hate out there as it is.
DISCLAIMER : This thread is NOT intended to be pugnacious or combative. Apologies to anyone who might find this so.
k.
quote:
ORIGINAL: KaityK
It's a bdsm forum? So I'd expect anyone in such a relationship or intending to have on to actually DO the related activities. But I'd say the same thing about anyone saying they had a relationship with someone they hadn't met. Untill you've kissed, touched, smelt and breathed in that person then you don't KNOW them properly. Sorry if that doesn't fit in with how people have justified these things in their minds. It just doesn't have credibility.
Please re-read the OP, KaityK, I've included it above your post. No where does the OP say she's never met her master, only that they live a fair distance from each other. YOU are making an ignorant, biased assumption. Even if they are online at this point, again, no where does she say that they plan on NEVER meeting. Another false assumption.
 Reading ALL of the post can help. If you take the time to actually think rather than spout off biased opinions.
_____________________________
"I have sold my soul to the devil for You, will You still love me when I am soiled, stained and souless in my love for You?
Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair
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RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 
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