quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

There is no such animal as a perfectly sensible and hoonest expression of self. Break it down and it would work, but the terms together are a contradiction. If one gives an HONEST expression of self...yippee skippy! But it would make no sense to anyone other than the owner of the ego. If they blab something that makes sense to others then they have in some way modified it, thus lessening the honesty, to make it more understandable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

There is no such animal as a perfectly sensible and hoonest expression of self. Break it down and it would work, but the terms together are a contradiction. If one gives an HONEST expression of self...yippee skippy! But it would make no sense to anyone other than the owner of the ego. If they blab something that makes sense to others then they have in some way modified it, thus lessening the honesty, to make it more understandable.

I'm...confused.

A decision of what is 'good' (dangerously relative term, but we're going with it) for an individual...cannot be "sensible" because of the potential for other people to not understand it or understand it as such?

If the process of putting thoughts into words (since that's the main way humans communicate) makes the expression less honest, then apparently...none of us are capable of exhibiting pure honesty?

(Except maybe for people who fancy themselves telepaths?)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Yes, although I'm more referring to inner, self-created consequences not those of another source. It's easy to find plenty of commentary from subs who would readily admit that their own self-haunting for feeling they've disappointed their D-types is worse than any other punishment/consequence.

quote:


It's a weird paradox because while the existence of such fear of failure is an indication of something important, I wouldn't use it as the means to reinforce the dynamic itself at all (which is where I think many people naturally get a distaste for the idea).

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

What i am saying is an honest expression of the ego (of the inner self) is much too complex to be construed as "sensible" to anyone listening.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69

This is why visiting a therapist is never a one shot deal. You can make an honest expression of your inner self, and the therapist is going to be sitting there nodding (the NOD is learned in therapy school) but wondering"where in the fuck did that come from?" Somewhere down the road he may or may not put that peice of the puzzle together.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

But...you as the therapy patient..sitting there thinking "I really want this bozo to understand what i am trying to say here" will, know it or not, modify your statement to have more clarity, be more sensible and more understandable, thus reducing the total honesty.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
And, to oceanwinds post: some get off on it. Fear is, to some, an aphrodesiac, I believe.

For a relationship to succeed, it would have to be for both. If he got off on fear while it makes me dislike him and be turned off on him, the relationship would have been very short lived should I have been foolish enough to engage with him at all.

But it isn't an honest and sensible expression of the dynamic in my relationship because for me; making me afraid makes me not want him in any way. You don't make yourself bigger by making someone else smaller. Bullying others just shows up your own insecurities.

quote:

ORIGINAL: snappykappy

fear is not being able to breath when one depends upon it and not when one does not have to think about it
there is a difference

i have sarcoidosis it does not have me
i will kick its ass
i refuse to lose
thomas michael kappler

1. 
   
   A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
   A state or condition marked by this feeling: living in fear.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
Fear - NOUN:

*scritch*

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Ok, so let's presume, for a moment, that that feeling -isn't- fear...

I stand before Sensei. I know that my body isn't moving well today, and my mind is wandering. I know I'm not focusing well on what he is saying to me. He asks me to repeat a variation of a kata that he just explained, and there is a sensation -- a tension-- that wells up and runs along my spine and out my fingers. There is that crawly feeling, pounding heart, cold sweat, and clenching gut that comes from knowing that I am not going to be able to do what he asks, and that the cost of my failure to pay attention and to let him know that my warmup went poorly is that I will (1) look awkward and clumsy, embarrasing myself and (2) anger him for having wasted his time in teaching when I wasn't really listening and (3) will compel him to find some interesting, probably painful, way of reinforcing my obedience and re-directing my focus. It is a sensation that is unique to what I call 'fear' -- the same sensation that creeps along my spine now (3 years after getting hit while on my street scooter by an SUV that ran a stop sign) when I approach an intersection on my scooter only to have the person with the stop-sign fail to stop... and those fingers of electricity run up my spine, my arms get cold, my stomach clenches, my heart pounds and cold sweat pours between my shoulderblades, and I hope that I can hit the brakes before the driver hits me. So if it isn't fear, what -is- it?

Dame Calla

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

What is physical pain to people not into this?
What does enslavement mean to people not into this?

quote:

Our emotions or perhaps our dopamine have taught us that physical pain can be good. Though some will say (within this lifestyle) that the giving or taking of pain is not their thing
Our emotions have taught us that in this lifestyle enslavement can feel good and more importantly can feel very real. Others (within this lifestyle) will say that enslavement is just silly.

quote:

Some of us (in this lifestyle) have been able to embrace certain elements of fear and enjoy. Some (within this lifestyle) don't understand that.