ShadeDiva
Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: truesub4u
LOL... I think this was taken a little out of the way I ment it to state.. (then I never claimed to be perfect in stating things either.. LOL)
All though I do take my submission serious... you're right. There are for more other things to do think and worry about than this.
My life doesn't revolve around my submission... my submission revolves around my life. And although curious as to the terms.. scene.. play.. lifestyle.. it was morbid curiousity.. nothing more... and a little fun trying to get stired up.. nothing more..
It's possible that I tookit out of context.
My point is more that honestly - most folks in forums such as these will, on the whole, as the default, think that people involved in their relationships take their roles very seriously.
I highly doubt that anyone here as a default thinks people do NOT take their commitments to their partners seriously.
So rather than get focused on making sure that folks know you are serious in your commitment - which might lend a sense or implication that others do not for why would you need to declare it like it is not the normal standard - why not just focus on something more deserving?
I mean outside of the players - I think that the normal state of two people that have commited themselves to be involved with each other is that they take it seriously. Certainly the mere use of a word cannot touch that or taint it in any way, shape, or form. Unless you choose to give it that power.
Obviously by using the word "play" it cannot lessen the sincerity or seriousness with which someone is commited to their journey with their partner. It is JUST a word after all. Unless you give it more power than it has, it has none whatsoever.
Being curious about how others use a word is natural and by all means - never stop asking questions to gain clarity. But while doing so it is my suggestion - one that I know was not asked for, so take of it what you will lol - that you not associate meanings to them which were never actually meant by the speaker. Because someone says play it does not lessen the importance or the meaning that you have with your partner, nor does it mean they are trying to imply - or even directly state - that you are just playing at submitting or playing games.
Communication is ALWAYS a two way street. It is my belief that it is my responsiblity when I am trying to convey something that I make sure that what I MEANT to say was received as I meant it to be received. As well as that when I think I have understood something to be stated in a certain way that if there is an inkling I might have gotten it wrong or if I find that in stepping back I can read it several different ways - that it is my responsiblity as a listener to then ASK for clarification - BEFORE I react or respond to it to make sure that I understood it first.
Like I could have responded to the statement that my post - above all others here - were perceieved to be the judgemental ones in a defensive or derisive manner since that is not what I was trying to do. I *could* have perceived it as an attacjk rather than an opportunity to learn where I might have possibly strayed in my communication. I preferred instead to seek clarification for what exactly seemed judgemental, for then I could address that and then either state it better or point out where perhaps they misread. I also took the time to point out that the fault might be my own rather than leaping all of it upon the other person.
A little extra time, but the result was that we didn't come to proverbial blows and neither came out of the exchange feeling belittled or attacked ... or judged. But hopefully a little more clear on what the other meant.
Hm. I think I'm rambling now so I'm gonna shut up. LOL!
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~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld
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RE: Why is it called a scene? - 
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