LadyPact
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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
No where in your opinion have you stated why you think those who use the term have a lack of intelligence.
Actually, I have... you simply may not have picked up on it. Recall I used the example given in this thread of WHY one who "...is (i) just out of an "abusive" relationship, (ii) living with someone because they can't fend for themselves, and (iii) lacks the ability to "say no" (i.e., is unable to give/deny consent) should in ANY way be focusing on BDSM (munches and play parties), instead of getting therapy and their life in order as a first priority?!!"
This is neither an intelligent or HEALTHY path for the bottom in question, or the Top who is supposedly "protecting" them. For those that see no issue here (and can't see the pending future train wreck by following this path), I'm tempted to search their head for the lobotomy scar. This is simply not intelligent... on either side of the slash.
This is only one case though. Just like not everyone who uses the term isn't especially out to bang someone. (That's kind of why I showed up on this thread in the first place.)
[quote/Yes, one case... because you asked for one where there was a lack of intelligence; so I provided one... one from this very thread. Additionally, my criticism has not been limited to "banging" someone. Recall I've repeatedly stated no alleged "Protector" (or anyone else for that matter) is best qualified to decide who is best for another, as they are not them.
My bad. I was hoping you could actually apply it to the general term. I'll let that one slide.
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While I'm not disagreeing with you that anyone who needs to put their lives back together shouldn't be making that a priority, I also don't advocate the theory that they need to be secluded while doing so. Many people are very social creatures who thrive better when having social interactions. I'm not talking about just the play variety. I'm talking about opportunities to make like minded friends.
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Nor have I advocated seclusion, but rather, that their time would be better spent (in the above referenced case) learing to support themselves, seeking counseling to both (i) avoid another "abusive" relationship, and (ii) obtaining the ability to say "no"; thus being able to ensure consent. Simple requirements for ANY human being, be they of the bottom, Toppy, or 'nilla sort.
So what you're saying here is that, no lifestyle person can assist with some of these things? Any quality mental health professional is going to say that a social network, especially those for whom they can rely on when they may be practicing these new skills, is an asset. Nobody is an island and nobody has their therapist with them constantly. One of the goals of a protector might be helping that person in giving information to help them avoid abusive people when they have more knowledge of folks in the local scene. Asking the person under protection that they may not be asking themselves.
This is probably jumping fast forward a bit, but people who have worked with those coming out of abusive relationships will be familiar with something that is known as the transition period. They are honestly learning how to say no. It can be very helpful for them to have someone who is in something of a reinforcer position. Someone who will protect them when they do. I've done this and it helps to build confidence for certain women when no actually does mean no.
By the way, since both Stella and Lockit have experience in working in shelters, I could absolutely use either of them to help Me on this subject. If you're out there, ladies, please contribute.
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Speaking of social skills, let's remember that not everyone is the same. Some people are shy. Horribly shy. They feel that making that leap of getting involved in meatlife with others in WIITWD can go easier if they feel protected. I happen to be a rather outgoing individual and that is what attracts a lot of these folks to Me. Some feel more secure and less likely to be a flower on the wall if they have someone they can turn to during an event or a munch. Some just don't have the experience yet and have tons of questions that, hopefully, I can answer. For others, it can be something as simple as having an easy out when they aren't comfortable with confrontation or having to reject a potential play date. (Another capacity that I happen to excel at.)
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1) I get what you're stating about the "shy" thing... but in that case, I personally feel said person would be better off befriending a fellow sub/slave. I mean... 'nilla girlies do that all the time, using the other girl to help them bolt (e.g., "Hey Karen... we gotta go") when they need to.
Finally! Something we agree on. The difference is that I'm not a female s type and sometimes, I've been the best person for the job. That right there is the difference between mentoring and protection. I'm not a sub and for that reason, I have no right to mentor anyone in that capacity.
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2) For those that don't have the "experience" you referenced, wouldn't it be better then that they GET THAT EXPERIENCE, instead of avoiding it via utilizing said "Protector"? I mean... at what point then are they to get this "experience"?!!
For the record, I've never forbidden anyone under My protection from obtaining said experiences. I have counseled, advise, and shared information. I have never restricted anyone that was not in My collar from making such choices.
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3) Just had to comment on the "meatlife" thing. Funny as hell... never heard the dynamic referred to as "meatlife". LOL!!!
I'm glad you laughed. I like laughter.
The term is used quite frequently in such books as "The Loving Dominant," "SM101," "The New Topping Book, " and several others. It's also commonly used by those who would want to differentiate between the online world and real time. There are authors (TheTammyJo comes to mind) on these boards that are widely successful who use the term frequently. The fact that you are not aware of it is quite all right.
On a side note, would it trouble you terribly to either sign your posts or allow the reader to know it is the slave half of the profile is writing by using a different font?
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It doesn't make them stupid. What it makes them is different than you and while you are entitled to your own opinion, I see no reason to be condesending.
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We're obviously not going to agree here. I personally find someone who avoids learning to fend off unwanted advances, who leaves themselves at the mercy of another choosing WHO they should be with, and fails to take responsibility for their own life stupid. You may not, and so we agree to disagree. I have my opinion... you have yours. The OP posed a question and I answered as it pertains to my PERSONAL view of the "Protector" dynamic. To me, it's as stupid a dynamic as the "Mentor" dynamic. So again, we'll have to agree to disagree.
Well, we agree on minor points, at least in theory in some areas.
What I take issue with in your writings is, it never worked for you, so it can't work for someone else. It sounds too much like the One True Way.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Under Protection???????? - 
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