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ORIGINAL: IronBear

Some of us blokes have been doing this for years. We still open doors, hod chairs for ladies, offer to carry parcels and even known to cry at weddings and funerals. the best reaction I had was after the birth of my son, I used to carry him in a baby holder on my chest and sing to him when he cried .. in public when shopping too. I was hated by a few "manly types" because their wives used to point to me and ask why they couldn't do the same thing. I still get abused for old world courtesies but I simply ignore that and deal with real ladies as I was taught and doff my hat and occasionally kiss the back of a lady's hand as a greeting.

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ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

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I also suggest healthy support network of friends and family

I have this, but I don't feel as free to discuss things with them seeing as how this was within the world of D/s, so to speak.  I have to leave out details when talking to friends and family.

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what i find important for men to do is embrace feeling emotion, allow to be weak. Same as if a woman wants to be a housewife she can still be a femminist, a male should be able to step outside a dominant social role(manly man type) and still be considered a "real man".

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ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

Wow, this was really just incredible, thank you SO much.  You're an awesome writer.   I just added you to my favorites and can't wait to read your entire profile.  It never fails to amaze me how many highly intelligent people you run across on this site.

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ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

Why did she break up with you, btw?  If you don't mind telling.

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

Some of us blokes have been doing this for years. We still open doors, hod chairs for ladies, offer to carry parcels and even known to cry at weddings and funerals. the best reaction I had was after the birth of my son, I used to carry him in a baby holder on my chest and sing to him when he cried .. in public when shopping too. I was hated by a few "manly types" because their wives used to point to me and ask why they couldn't do the same thing. I still get abused for old world courtesies but I simply ignore that and deal with real ladies as I was taught and doff my hat and occasionally kiss the back of a lady's hand as a greeting. 

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See and there is a nice value judgment, what is a lady? If my aspiration as a female is to be a lady then to be a real one I shouldn't be uncomfortable with a man kissing the back of my hand? In that case I am not really sure that I want to be one. I would actually rather get no special treatment due to my sex, because with that comes expectations that I very well may not want to adhere to. So I am happy with my 'men' not wanting to hold open doors, doff their hats or hold out chairs.

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ORIGINAL: VanityFix

Same as if a woman wants to be a housewife she can still be a femminist, a male should be able to step outside a dominant social role(manly man type) and still be considered a "real man".

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Why? I'm slowly letting on that I'm into this sort of thing. I'm not gonna go around wearing a gimp outfit and ask to be beat, but I'm not going to really hide this interest or be ashamed of it either. If it were purely -sexual- maybe... cuz talking about what sort of porn or erotica I like with my parents is just a big heavy no

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ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

Hmm. Had a thought here.

If most guys are generally sweet and sensitive in their teens and 20's find that the assholes in their teens and 20's are getting the women, do they decide "screw being nice, it never got me anything" and become assholes in their thirties?

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Do the assholes in their teens and 20's ever change out of that habit? Is there any reason to? Once they hit their thirties, there is never going to be an end to the naive, innocent 20 somethings that are still attracted to the jerks.

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The first time, as I recall, it was because I "was too immature" and then, of course, by the next summer when we started going out again I had "matured so much". I didn't think I was any different, but can anyone truly judge their own level of maturity?

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Looking at it, in retrospect, I think it was insecurity, distance and time. We were both going to college and it was a three and a half hour trip between universities. I was going for an engineering degree and she was going for her BS in biology. So we'd get together on most weekends (except when we had projects or studying to do) but weeknights, obviously, it was a no-go. I think she needed more attention than that and things built up until they sort of burst at the most stressful moments (holidays, finals, etc.). Not that I knew this at the time, mind.

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I agree with this wholeheartedly. I think, though, that perhaps it's other men that keep a man from feeling free to express emotion... maybe? I think the majority of women, myself included, would tell you that we highly respect and appreciate it when a man says how he feels. It eliminates so much of the guesswork that can lead to problems in relationships.

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If you want my guess, the things that men "compete" with each other on are as follows:

#1) The girl on our arm.
#2) Our earning ability
#3) Our physical ability.. sports or violence

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A guy walks into the room with a little hottie on his arm and pretty much he wins

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ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

I think it's really sad that guys feel their sexiness and worth are tied to earning ability. I understand that this is because men are conditioned to be the "protector" and be able to take care of someone (which they think has to involve money).

Sorry, but this sounds reeeaaalllly shallow. Not that you said it, but the fact that men find it important to have a pretty girl on their arm.

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#1) The girl on our arm.
#2) Our earning ability
#3) Our physical ability.. sports or violence

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A guy walks into the room with a little hottie on his arm and pretty much he wins

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

If you want my guess, the things that men "compete" with each other on are as follows:

#1) The girl on our arm.
#2) Our earning ability
#3) Our physical ability.. sports or violence

But of those, really, the first is the trump card. A guy walks into the room with a little hottie on his arm and pretty much he wins -- even if he cried during the sad part of the movie.

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"I have nothing left to say" is not always final. It can mean he's tired now.

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Hi I'm over looking the grating cliches and pettiness, OP. IMO we don't need to coddle your pose as a small minded ninny. You do know better, fess up now. (I say gently with a wink).