NEVER say this to a cop

NEVER say this to a cop (Full Version)

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Hillwilliam -> NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 8:55:34 AM)
Ok folks, the pickup lines thread seems to be popular. Lets start another one things you NEVER say to a cop. Officer: "do you know why I stopped you?" Motorist: "damn right I do but your gonna have to figure it out on your own" Who is next?... c'mon Steele and the rest of ya

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:08:10 AM)
You dumb butt, I pulled over so you could pass me and escort me through town without stopping. I'm Gumby Dammit!!!

GreedyTop -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:18:38 AM)
Look, officer! I got outta the handcuffs!! (very bad idea.. do not try this at home)

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:21:28 AM)
Well Kiss My Gritts... if it ain't Barney Fife. Last I heard you were working for the State Bureau of Investigation. What happened? Did Mr. Coffee put you out of business?

sirsholly -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:22:33 AM)
Get out of my way or i'll knock you on your ass! (he didn't believe me till he was on his ass.)

Apocalypso -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:23:42 AM)
I pay your wages. That makes you my little bitch. Now dance for me bitchboy!

AngelGeena -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:31:15 AM)
....not you again....

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:31:47 AM)
Thank God you're here Officer. I was on my way to kill my ex wife and I forgot to load my gun. Can I borrow yours?

Hillwilliam -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:32:31 AM)
BAD cop.... no donuts

GreedyTop -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:32:42 AM)
That uniform makes you look fat,,,

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 9:37:20 AM)
Nice haircut. Did Joe Friday loan you his bowl?

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 10:00:44 AM)
I know my tail light is out Officer. The damn bitch in my trunk kicked it out!!! Why don't you write her the ticket?

SteelofUtah -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 10:21:19 AM)
Officer: Joe your eyes are a little hazy, have you been drinking tonight? Joe: Why Yes I have, say Officer your eyes look a little glazed over have you been eating donuts tonight? Wow officer you look just like the guy in the picture on the night stand of this total slut I've been fucking... Do you have a Brother? Officer: do you know how fast you were going when I stopped you? Guy: What the fuck is this don't you know? You're the jack ass that pulled me over. I swear to GOD officer I was just trying to get home as fast as possible so that I could fuck your wife and get your daughter pregnant before you got home. Now you ruined the surprize and everyone is going to be upset with you. Go Back to your Squad Car and think about what you have done. No the car isn't registers neither is my Gun. Officer Mitchell, If I lie down on the sidewalk would you draw an outline of me with that chalk you all got (Yeah it's Jeff Foxworthy Still funny as hell) Mamma Told me never to talk to strangers. Dude, Don't Taze me Bro. Steel

Termyn8or -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 10:30:59 AM)
Not with a ten foot pole. You know what I could do with this ? Just the post would probably get me arrested. BTW, if I had a ten foot Pole should I grab him by the feet or the head ? I knew I missed something in my martial arts training, but until now I couldn't put my finger on it. T

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 10:40:35 AM)
Look, I don't know anything about any bank robbery. That carrying bag in the back seat is my free gift from the Bank of Opportunity for opening up a free checking account. They gave me the opportunity and I took it. However I'm feeling rather generous today, so why don't you take it as a free gift for your wife to avoid any appearance of bribery of an officer, and I'll be on my way. It's the least I can do for the men in blue. In return I promise not to sue you for false arrest.

darchChylde -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 10:40:55 AM)
Why yes ossifer, i'm cerfectly pober. I didn't drop a drink all night. Straight line? There's no such thingin nature... WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT BACKWARDS?!?!?!

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 11:18:41 AM)
I'm not bragging or anything but this is Batman's old car. I could have out ran you if I wanted to. I just didn't see any sense in burning $300 worth of jet fuel to get out of a $200 ticket.

spicysugar1 -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 11:19:09 AM)
Officer: Do you know why I stopped you? Driver: That depends....how long have you been following me?

cuckoldmepls -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 11:55:03 AM)
Damn boy, who taught you how to put handcuffs on... Toys R Us? Any pimple faced kid knows you take a woman's pullover top off first, otherwise you can't get it off. Another thing, If I had known you were going to take me downtown for a public orgie, I never would have gotton into the backseat. Backseats are only for two things. Do I look like a Japanese tourist?

Pyrmidon -> RE: NEVER say this to a cop (8/13/2009 12:01:27 PM)
My drivers license? Oh, I think I may have it with me. Here, mind holding my beer, while I look??

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