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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 6:45:01 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
it's a very natural, organic kind of dynamic.

Then why name it?  Or... why not name it something only the two of you organically share, like you being "His Granolaslut."




Doubleposting like a doofus, and Edited to add: I can see the Recommitment Ceremony now!



OH DEAR!!!!!!!! LOL

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 6:49:40 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

The difference for me has always been....

submissive..I still have a choice and it won't affect our relationship.

slave...my one and only choice is to stay or leave.



And the thought of leaving is just shattering as unthinkable. What then? I know. It wouldn't be so unthinkable anymore, or the resistance isn't worth the sacrifice. Still, I just sit here and try to imagine that somewhere he thinks I am capable of something of that magnitude and I just fly into a mess. Like others have said though, apparently he has seen it (whatever characteristics he has determined make a slave) and believes I am capable and what he wants. So why is this so hard?

lovingpet

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:17:11 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
How many slaves do you own at the moment whereby you could define slave for them, for me or for anyone else?

You do not know the answer to that question because I don't discuss my relationship status, or much of my relationship history, on a message board.  Anyone reading my thoughts about human relationships is free to decide how much weight to give them.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Prinsexx)
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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:21:48 PM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

The difference for me has always been....

submissive..I still have a choice and it won't affect our relationship.

slave...my one and only choice is to stay or leave.



And the thought of leaving is just shattering as unthinkable. What then? I know. It wouldn't be so unthinkable anymore, or the resistance isn't worth the sacrifice. Still, I just sit here and try to imagine that somewhere he thinks I am capable of something of that magnitude and I just fly into a mess. Like others have said though, apparently he has seen it (whatever characteristics he has determined make a slave) and believes I am capable and what he wants. So why is this so hard?

lovingpet



Never said the leaving would be easy.

Sure it would be difficult to me to leave Master. The thought of it would be quite a blow to my life but I know that if he were to do something that just doesn't jive with my life whatsoever I would find that I would have to walk even if it devastated me.

It's never easy to walk away from someone but sometimes you have to made hard decisions in life.

It's not something Id' just do. It would take a lot of hand-wringing for me.

But that's also why I took my time in choosing a partner and I stayed single for so many very long years.

(in reply to lovingpet)
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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:23:41 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
How many slaves do you own at the moment whereby you could define slave for them, for me or for anyone else?

You do not know the answer to that question because I don't discuss my relationship status, or much of my relationship history, on a message board.  Anyone reading my thoughts about human relationships is free to decide how much weight to give them.



I am sure, since both of you are familiar with me that this a difficult thing I am about to do and is honestly nothing personal. I just think this thread has enough fire and controversy on its own. Could you both please curb any personal disputes? I would really appreciate it. For me?

lovingpet

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:27:51 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

The difference for me has always been....

submissive..I still have a choice and it won't affect our relationship.

slave...my one and only choice is to stay or leave.



And the thought of leaving is just shattering as unthinkable. What then? I know. It wouldn't be so unthinkable anymore, or the resistance isn't worth the sacrifice. Still, I just sit here and try to imagine that somewhere he thinks I am capable of something of that magnitude and I just fly into a mess. Like others have said though, apparently he has seen it (whatever characteristics he has determined make a slave) and believes I am capable and what he wants. So why is this so hard?

lovingpet



But that's also why I took my time in choosing a partner and I stayed single for so many very long years.



Very much the same for me. There was much work on myself before I ever ventured to look for a partner. My search only HAPPENED to not be terribly long, but that was just fortunate occasion. Sometimes I wish I could help a person understand the importance of getting a good hold on self before dragging someone else in, but it is a hindsight thing unfortunately.

lovingpet

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:29:04 PM   
RedMagic1


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Status: offline 		I thought everyone was being quite nice to you, lovingpet.  We haven't gotten anywhere near threadhell yet... and I won't move us closer.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:31:49 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I thought everyone was being quite nice to you, lovingpet.  We haven't gotten anywhere near threadhell yet... and I won't move us closer.


I didn't mean as far as the thread itself. Everyone has been amazingly cordial actually. I am pleasantly surprised so far.

I simply meant the personal stuff between you and prin that's carryover from history on other threads. That's all!

lovingpet

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:52:02 PM   
KnightofMists


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Status: offline 		I think the labeling is irrelevant except that such labeling represents a sort of expectation or place with in the dynamic.

I think it is more important to understand that

I will obey everything he commands...

Than to worry about Labeling such a person as a slave that will obey everything he commands.

What are the expectations of the relationship.. what is it you want from him and what is it he wants from you.. what you call it.. well it doesn't matter within the relationship itself.

It was years before Alandra was labelled as a slave... frankly... it wasn't important and really it still isn't except to represent the expectations such a label means.

When I call Alandra and Kyra my slaves.. .it denotes an understanding between us of the expectations and functionality of our relationship. I think as a person begins to refine and clarify their relationship dynamic.. there is alot of grouping or catergorizing that goes on. It also becomes noted when we start to interact with others in the lifestyle community. The labels are useful to give a sort of shallow appreciation of the dynamic between us three.

But in the end... the label is irrelevant it's the content that matters.. the understanding of what our relationship is between us and how it functions.... and we call it US! Unique and special.... no one compares or will compare... because comparisons are irrelevant.

I don't think I answered your question very well.... but the name to "OUR" natural dynamic is US. what is natural for us is X and we know what X is to us.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 7:52:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		As promised.

But I have to say, you didn't need Me to come along.  I think you got a wonderful array of opinions right here.  I also think that you also got some of the definition of what a slave is in your Master's opinion.  There might even be something of your own definition that's starting to form. 

While I do have something of a definition between the two terms (some of the aspects of which have appeared on this thread) I'm also going to say that My definition will probably never be complete.  Sure, the basic concept is pretty much in place, but I can't especially say that it is finite.  There will always be more aspects to consider.  Parts I may add to such a definition or take away from it.  My preferred definition is someone involved in an M/s dynamic, where they have given total authority to the person who receives their power within that dynamic. 

What's really important is how it is defined between you and the person on the other side of the kneel. Knowing what that word, and what it inspires when used by your Master, means to you.  When you hear him say it, do you hear it with your ears, or with a slave's heart? 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:02:51 PM   
lovingpet


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Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you KoM and it really is true that the label is irrelavent. He chooses to confront me with it more because addressing some generalize spectre in my personality is not very practical. He can, however, toss a word or two at me and watch me respond to it.

You asked a few questions in your post, so I will try to answer them. The expectations of the relationship are changing, but in general are trending more toward total control and complete obedience. That's the short version, of course. I want to be his and don't really need or want anything particular other than his happiness. He wants me as his and flourishing as vitally as I ever can under his hand. I have no idea what you call that! LOL Whatever it is, it is beautiful to us and makes us happy, so the tag on the box doesn't seem to matter.

lovingpet

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:03:11 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		Here's a quick answer. I may want to say more later but I must get to bed soon.

I don't think slaves or submissives are very different in terms of personalities, needs, expectations, all that inner stuff that makes you who you are. The difference to me seems to be one of a role, or what your master imposes on you or expects from you. A submissive in a slave role has fewer choices than one who is not. She or he retains less control over their own actions, makes fewer decisions usually, defers more to the dominant's decisions. A submissive is free to have her own life, to impose limits, to say no. A slave can ask or beg that something not be done to her (or, if it's good, that it be done to her) but she has no right to expect it will--that's up to her master. The differences I'm describing are in the style of relationship you have, not in anything you are personally. I think the confusion with the personal comes up because some people prefer one role, slave or submissive, over the other, and seek that role out, so they start identifying with the role. Think of it as a job: some people like to be mathemeticians, some construction workers, some small business owners. Different roles, different jobs, but they do not define the person. It's late, so I hope this makes sense! ;)

(in reply to beargonewild)
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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:07:27 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

  When you hear him say it, do you hear it with your ears, or with a slave's heart? 



Oh LP, it wasn't a lack of responses or even ones from people I have come to respect, but that a certain somebody was absent from the ranks. Thank you for responding.

That being said, I really REALLY don't want to answer this. I guess I have my answer right there huh? LOL

In all honesty, he says that word and I shrink and melt. I think a lot of pretense and masks fall off at that word. Very much like when he utters that word MINE.......

lovingpet

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:08:46 PM   
catize


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quote:

In the theory of natural order, what are the implications for the self and ego of the slave under that premise?   


There is no ‘natural order’.  If all (insert gender/race/religions) were ‘naturally’ XYZ, then there would be no need to come up with such a phrase, nor would it be necessary to discuss the concept. 
It would just ‘be’. 
There are too many variables and unique personalities to support the theory.  In fact, if male master/female slave was the ‘natural order’ you would not have asked the question in your OP. 
Some will tell you it is bliss; some will tell you it would be hell.  Again, you must examine the implications to your self and your ego. 


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:15:47 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Let me see if I can put my concerns based on your post simply:

style=preference=personality=characteristic=fundamental personal qualities. In other words, the style of one's relationships is at least an indirect reflection upon the person choosing it. What that reflection is and whether I care to view myself/be viewed that way is a matter of much....... stress.

lovingpet

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:17:38 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		What we are determines our actions.  Except, sometimes, our actions, especially when they become patterns over time, determine who we are.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:18:18 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

In the theory of natural order, what are the implications for the self and ego of the slave under that premise?   


There is no ‘natural order’.  If all (insert gender/race/religions) were ‘naturally’ XYZ, then there would be no need to come up with such a phrase, nor would it be necessary to discuss the concept. 
It would just ‘be’. 
There are too many variables and unique personalities to support the theory.  In fact, if male master/female slave was the ‘natural order’ you would not have asked the question in your OP. 
Some will tell you it is bliss; some will tell you it would be hell.  Again, you must examine the implications to your self and your ego. 



I only brought up that concept because my partner actually does happen to accept it as part of his theory and practice. I am sure someone with the appropriate background can help me with understanding it and it was just thrown out there as more of the overall picture of what I DO know I am dealing with when it comes to his expectations and mindset.

So far it's bliss. I just hope it isn't ignorance that is making it so.

lovingpet

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:20:49 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

What we are determines our actions.  Except, sometimes, our actions, especially when they become patterns over time, determine who we are.


Actually, I would just boil this down to actions reflect who we are. Repeated actions show that certain traits are especially strong in us, for better or worse.

lovingpet

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:22:46 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
So far it's bliss. I just hope it isn't ignorance that is making it so.

If it is, so what?

I wasn't going to post again, but this really seems to be the fundamental issue to me.  Why allow fear of an unknown future prevent you from doing something beautiful now?

Ok, now I'm off the thread.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: The Name for a Natural Dynamic - 8/15/2009 8:26:52 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
So far it's bliss. I just hope it isn't ignorance that is making it so.

If it is, so what?

I wasn't going to post again, but this really seems to be the fundamental issue to me.  Why allow fear of an unknown future prevent you from doing something beautiful now?

Ok, now I'm off the thread.



You are right in that and I am always telling folks to take a chance and not live their life in all the what ifs. Take my own advice, huh?

lovingpet

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 80
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