RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s

RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (Full Version)

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MHOO314 -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 12:21:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cillydom I didn’t give a definition, only an example of what it wasn’t This is an example based on your OPINION only, for there are just as many who will disagree. So one should clarify it is their opinion--not present it as fact or make sweeping generalizations quote: to some here if I said 2+2=4 they would differ in a reflex reaction Nope, that is a proven mathematical fact--one that cannot be refuted for it is not subjective, and not one based on opinion.

AmazonVixen -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 12:27:07 PM)
I feel the submissives duty is to please no mater what

Wolfspet -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 1:38:03 PM)
Believe it or not, I have read your "opinion essays". I still laugh at it. To me it seems to be yet another conglomeration of regurgitated ideals gleaned from popular BDSM websites. No originality, no proven substantive relationship base, and most of all, a trifle condensending. Me, I am not a wordsmith, I tend to communicate in a blunt manner, diseccting all that I find laughable in your essays would take far too much time. I would rather be spending my time living M/s than over critiquing someone elses fantasy.

cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 1:39:02 PM)
i haven't used quoting because i'm not sure how to and i have made clarifications based on sugestions and questions this was written from the perspective of a extream master/slave relationship which is what i want. i only suggested that some may apply to others and the definition suggestion was for newbies, should have made that clear i believe everything can be defined or how else can we discuss it somethings may have multible definitions or examples to explain them but definitions nontheless

SimplyV -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 2:16:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cillydom i haven't used quoting because i'm not sure how to and i have made clarifications based on sugestions and questions this was written from the perspective of a extream master/slave relationship which is what i want. i only suggested that some may apply to others and the definition suggestion was for newbies, should have made that clear i believe everything can be defined or how else can we discuss it somethings may have multible definitions or examples to explain them but definitions nontheless K.. see quoting is easy.. instead of reply.. click "quote" then you'll see [ quote ] and [ /quote ] these are begin quote and end quote respectively. Anythign you want to appear in a quotation.. you put between these two. So if you want to quote several parts and reply inbetween them [ quote ] Original: Name Blah Blah Blabbity Blah [ /quote ] Your remarks.. [ quote ] Original: Name More blah blah blabbity blah [ /quote ] Your remarks. You can also select "Preview" before you post.. to make sure all your begin quote and end quotes match up appropriately. Then approve it or fix it as needed. V

BitaTruble -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 2:16:46 PM)
quote: i haven't used quoting because i'm not sure how to If you'll notice, each comment is cordoned off by a box and in the upper most right hand corner of each individual section of a post is a button labeled 'quote.' Hit that and it will bring up the 'reply to message' box and will include the post. You can delete the sections which are not pertinent to your response and then put your response after the last [./quote] and their post and your reply to them will both show up. You can practice the technique in the forum labeled 'test forum' until you get it right. It's the very last forum on the main page. Hope that helps. Celeste

KYsissy -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 3:03:30 PM)
I looked for along time for a Dominant female and was not very succesful. I met a woman and we dated for a few years and in that time we talked about D/S and she was open to it. We are now married and have not had much of a D/S relationship until the past six months. She is rapidly getting comfortable with taking the reins. For me, the vanilla aspects are very important to a relationship. Life has a nasty way of intruding on the fantasy with great regularity. If you don't have a good foundation to start with, when the kink ends, then what do you do? I will admit to having lucked into this relationship inspite of my best efforts to find a Mistress and not a girlfriend. Looking back, I realize how screwed up my priorities were.

cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 3:07:35 PM)
[qiote]You can also select "Preview" before you post.. to make sure all your begin quote and end quotes match up appropriately. Then approve it or fix it as needed.[/quote] like that?

cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 3:11:05 PM)
i will when i have time thanks

MHOO314 -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 7:39:11 PM)
great, start with the definition of "joy"---there is no universal definition---use an example amd if I have not experienced it, well its not applicable--discuss "concepts" and I can relate.

SimplyV -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 7:52:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cillydom [qiote]You can also select "Preview" before you post.. to make sure all your begin quote and end quotes match up appropriately. Then approve it or fix it as needed.[/ quote] like that? Would work better if you spelled quote correctly.. but yes.

cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 8:01:42 PM)
hey i did once lol

KnightofMists -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/21/2006 8:03:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AmazonVixen I feel the submissives duty is to please no mater what Then I pity you! For what you juat said implies that you would scarifice your Permanent Well-Being for the momentary Pleasure of another. I would much prefer a submissive whose duty is first to maintain/protect their Well-Being so they can continue to please and be enjoyed as long as breath fills their lungs.

cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/24/2006 9:06:48 AM)
The illusion of love and happiness. The following is for just a minority of submissive women. How high up should submissive women put traditional romantic love on their list? Not very high, there are enough impediments to a successful d/s relationship without adding romantic love. After all is her need for structure or love, my answer to that is structure. I believe that feelings of contentment and inner peace are far more important and useful to submissive women than feelings of giddiness and love. When he makes her fulfill his desires by performing acts she may actually dislike feelings of love may be the last thing on her mind but her need to obey will still be there. Peace and contentment are more based on her having to obey no matter what and obeying than on any perceived feeling of love for him. This lack of a feeling of love at the moment of obedience may leave her confused and thinking that she is in a failing relationship. She has to remember it wasn’t wanting to feel in love that drove her to seek out a dominant she may not have even known in the first place .She sought out a suitable dominant to satisfy her inner craving need a dominant she wouldn’t know till she met him. Unlike the vanilla world where one falls in love first then decides that the loved one is needed we decide what we need then try to find someone to fulfill that need, we have turned the process completely around. Now deciding we also have to have romantic love will make it more difficult if not impossible to find that one. I firmly believe that feelings of peace and contentment will go far further in sustaining a d/s relationship than the vagaries of feeling in love. I also believe that feelings of peace and contentment are a form of a more mature live than giddiness. After all how long can we feel giddy over anything?

cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/24/2006 1:24:01 PM)
Corrected version The illusion of love and happiness. The following is for just a minority of submissive women. How high up should submissive women put traditional romantic love on their list? Not very high, there are enough impediments to a successful d/s relationship without adding romantic love. After all is her need for structure or love, my answer to that is structure. I believe that feelings of contentment and inner peace are far more important and useful to submissive women than feelings of giddiness and love. When he makes her fulfill his desires by performing acts she may actually dislike, feelings of love may be the last thing on her mind but her need to obey is still be there. Peace and contentment are more based on her need to obey no matter what, and obeying than on any perceived feeling of love for him. This lack of a feeling of love at the moment of obedience may leave her confused and thinking that she is in a failing relationship. She has to remember it wasn’t wanting to feel in love that drove her to seek out a dominant in the first place. She sought out a suitable dominant to satisfy her inner craving. Unlike the vanilla world where one falls in love first then decides that the loved one is needed we decide what we need then try to find someone to fulfill that need, we have turned the process completely around. Now deciding we also have to have romantic love will make it more difficult if not impossible to find that one. I firmly believe that feelings of peace and contentment will go far further in sustaining a d/s relationship than the vagaries of feeling in love. I also believe that feelings of peace and contentment are a form of a more mature love than the feeling of giddiness is. After all how long can we feel giddy over anything?

SpaceForMore -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/24/2006 1:56:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cillydom I firmly believe that feelings of peace and contentment will go far further in sustaining a d/s relationship than the vagaries of feeling in love. I also believe that feelings of peace and contentment are a form of a more mature love than the feeling of giddiness is. After all how long can we feel giddy over anything? cillydom, I think I know what you mean and agree with the gist of what you are saying, BUT-- the feeling of contentment by the sub that you speak of on the one hand, and loving on the other, are not mutually exclusive, are they? Even though one can obey out of a variety of motivations including fear, do very many subs not obey, not only out of a need to obey but also because they "love" their master? I am not sure their love for their master would be any different than the vanilla world feels love, in that both groups love, I would think, in a general sense, what their loved one stands for. At the very minimum, the sub has to LOVE what he is doing to/for her. [:)]

cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/24/2006 2:02:39 PM)
I didn’t say there couldn’t be love but to go for that exclusively may impede your search. After all the concept of romantic love is a relatively new cultural phenomena.

SpaceForMore -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/24/2006 2:09:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cillydom After all the concept of romantic love is a relatively new cultural phenomena. Thanks, cd. Can you elaborate on the above?

SpaceForMore -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/24/2006 2:19:25 PM)
no rush. take your time, and when you can, talk about how romantic love is a a new thing. what did the ancients have in place of love? i love history and anthropology.

JohnWarren -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/24/2006 2:22:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpaceForMore quote: ORIGINAL: cillydom After all the concept of romantic love is a relatively new cultural phenomena. Thanks, cd. Can you elaborate on the above? The idea of romantic love was promulgated in the late Middle Ages by troubadour who created and popularized the idea of a sexless "love" between a man and (usually) a married women. It should be noted that this concept took place among the "upper" classes as the peasants were considered largely incapable of "finer" emotions. It did not in any way reflect the active behavior of upper class men as rape was not only commonplace, but as long as it was directed toward non-nobles, an acceptable outlet. Later in history, the emerging middle class aped the nobility's habits: having mansions, lawns, servants, potlatch-type parties, and romantic love.

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