cillydom -> RE: One Dominants controversial thought on d/s (3/25/2006 12:39:06 PM)
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Limits, whose and how far? Every so often I like to write an essay on what d/s means to me, it brings it into sharper focus and is like a record of my evolution in d/s. I have been undergoing an evolution on the concept of limits. There are those that say the limits should be what the submissive says, and there are those that say the dominant sets the limits. I am in the later camp. The concept of static limits to me seems like that of a static relationship. Not growing, evolving, stuck where it was on day one. And leaving limits up to the submissive just doesn’t seem like submission to me. What if she has a change of mind and wants to raise her limits? What if her limits are further than the dominants? Whose limits are going to be pushed in this circumstances? So the concept of limits can be more challenging than first thought. So now whose limits should be pushed? I’m gravitating toward both till they reach a point of equilibrium, if that’s possible. After that point of equilibrium is reached then the dominant has some serious thinking to do on if or how much further to push the new limits.
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