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ORIGINAL: subtee

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ORIGINAL: Level

Why the pressure to get hitched??

And if you do not want to...that's the answer. There's a reason you feel that way.

God I miss you peoples. I don't want to get married. I don't see the reason or benefit. I don't love being alone but fuck me for a sell out too. Did you decide not to get married? Did it hurt your family?

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Do what you wanna do, not what everyone else wants you to do. Marriage for me is a sacred act and not something to be taken lightly.

Get married because it's in your heart, not because you think that's what you should do.

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ORIGINAL: subtee

DV I have admired you and your relationship for so long...do you think that you were lucky, or do you think that you created your so good situation? Did you work to get what you have or did it occur?

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ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

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ORIGINAL: subtee

DV I have admired you and your relationship for so long...do you think that you were lucky, or do you think that you created your so good situation? Did you work to get what you have or did it occur?

Both, actually. I was lucky as hell to meet Fox. It was a 1 in a  million chance that we happened to run into one another. The rest of it is work. We have to learn about one another, make sure we are meeting one anothers needs... theres a lot that goes into it. It doesnt have to be hard work, but it cant be taken for granted either.

And days like today make it all worth it. Our wedding was this afternoon

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ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack


If you don't want to get married then you should not get married.

Getting married to make the family happy or comfortable or to make someone else feel better isn't the answer. If you and your SO don't both want to be married, then my advice is to stay single and together and until you're both comfortable with the idea and looking forward to it.

Besides, no one wants to be told "I married you to make my parents feel better."

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ORIGINAL: subtee

You're right, InvisibleBlack, and yet, I feel the passage of time and how much family means in all of it. It's not insignificant and what else I got going on is work. No SO. so.

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ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

x2 here.

But then, my father on marriage #9 right now, and my two best friends can't stand their wives because their wives changed into completely different people quite literally overnight after their weddings.  From what I see, marriage is a very bad thing.

So why do it other than to keep divorce lawyers employed, and the judge gives her 85% of everything and a 75% alimony check to boot.

So tell the family to shove it, and live thine life as thou see fit.  If they have a problem, walk away from them forever because they never had your best interests in the first place.

And as a side note, if a SO says "Marry me or I'm leaving" that should raise a red flag that they're after your stuff/money and not you.  After all, if a SO loves you, why do they need a contract with the state to do so?

I'll say it again, marriage is bad.

Rant off...

quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack


If you don't want to get married then you should not get married.

Getting married to make the family happy or comfortable or to make someone else feel better isn't the answer. If you and your SO don't both want to be married, then my advice is to stay single and together and until you're both comfortable with the idea and looking forward to it.

Besides, no one wants to be told "I married you to make my parents feel better."

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ORIGINAL: subtee

So lemme ask you this: if you were already alone, without someone, and your family was gonna leave you alone too without the potential for marriage, could you be that alone?

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ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

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ORIGINAL: subtee

So lemme ask you this: if you were already alone, without someone, and your family was gonna leave you alone too without the potential for marriage, could you be that alone?

I already am that alone.

If family won't support you the way you are, then they are a bad influence.  Do you always come home tearing at your hair in frustration after visiting them?  Do you feel your blood pressure rise just seeing their pictures?  Do you loathe having to appear at family functions to the point it actually causes you pain (sharp stomachaches in my case)?

It is actually better to be alone and happy than with family in pain.  That's why I have friends, like my RL friends and you folks here on CM and a couple other boards that I haunt...

I'm not 100% sure I'm making sense to most folks, but If I'm not, I'll attempt to explain it differently...