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RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/3/2009 8:45:15 PM

lucylucy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

arent subs generally on their knees with their mouths wide open and licking their lips?

Only when reading your posts, Ron.

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Post #: 41

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/3/2009 9:26:13 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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i agree that there are no cues to indicate whether the average person is a sub.

i happen to be a very dominant, high achieving, type-A personality. In my professional life i am always in charge. i am almost always the most dominant person in the room. Women often tell me that they are attracted to me because of my confidence and commanding personality. People who know me would NEVER believe that i am anything but dominant. Yet, in my private life, i prefer to submit to a dominant Woman.

i am not a psychologist, but i have heard that my story is not uncommon. Many people who are "in charge all the time" secretly enjoy TPE in their private lives.

Bottom line: Just say "no" to stereotypes.

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 42

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 9:01:31 AM

PainfullyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

:::SIGH::: Yes, the Communications "Prof" is full of it (and so is antipode, immediately above.) Toe touching is only for stalls in public bathrooms, where the person on the other side can't get to you to kick your ass if he's not gay......

He mentioned the public bathroom thing. I thought my post was long enough...
His name is Goldhaber, I think, if you would like to follow-up to see if he's spot-on or full-of-it.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 43

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 9:07:13 AM

PainfullyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Bottom line: Just say "no" to stereotypes.

Ahh... I think you hit the nail on the head here. I think you answered my question from earlier... why do people get so upset when I look for similarities?...

I'm looking for ques, mannerisms, similarities...
What the discussion seems to be comming down to is that many believe there are ways to know who might be dominant or not in everyday life, there's no connection to the bedroom, in the opinion of most responders.

Who disagrees?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 44

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 9:39:24 AM

Aileen1968

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Call me kinda crazy, but I got a completely different take on all of the responses. I thought the majority of posters felt there were no generalized mannerisms that pointed to either side of the kneel. Are we reading the same thread???

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Post #: 45

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 10:16:55 AM

PainfullyCurious

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I'm summing up the posts of those who beleive there are ques in life. The others posts don't count much. I'm not focusing on the ones who seemed to answer even though they have not read the last sentence. Yes. In short, I asked can you spot... Then my explaination really moves on more to say that I want to know how do you spot...

If I ask/imply that I want to know how something is done and you say, I don't do that and I don;t believe it can be done, well then I there's not much more for me to focus on.

If you're of the persuation that people can't be read at all, then that's fine for you. If you don't spend your time focusing on things that are plain as day to me, it's because that's what works for you in your life. You see it as a waste of time. That's fine. I'm not trying to convince you. I'm sure you are very smart and you focus on other things that are equally as important. I just can't figure out why any of those people are compelled to read this post and answer... Why not skip it and go on to something else?

What I'm asking about may come down to subtleties; facial expressions, posture, word choice, etc. I know for sure this isn't something you can find on google. I expect this question will be hard to answer. I expect that not everyone will have something to say right off the bat... This is new territory.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 46

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 10:23:34 AM

Aileen1968

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Ahhh...so you're one of those people that negates anything that doesn't support your view point. Gotcha. Good luck with that.

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Post #: 47

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 10:32:31 AM

PainfullyCurious

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No. I'm one of those people who want to stay on topic.

Here is an article on spotting Dominant behavior in everyday life.
http://www.idiap.ch/~gatica/publications/HungGatica-fg08.pdf

I would actually be very interested to hear you tear it apart... To know why you think it's nonsense... Or even to hear how you found it enlightening.
If you feel compelled to do so, start another thread and you'll see that I'll be happy to participate.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 48

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 10:44:10 AM

NihilusZero

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There is no universal means by which to do so. Your question is framed on the presumption that it can be done, only afterwords asking how it's done when it is done as if luck and random guessing weren't pretty much the entirety of it.

Can you predict which side of a coin will land face up when tossed? How do you predict which side will land face up and what cues/indications (perhaps while the coin is in midair?) will lead us to the impression of a greater percentage in the correct-guess column?

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Post #: 49

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:01:32 AM

RCdc

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Can you recognise a clown, out of costume, from a lawyer?

There are no absolutes in behaviour. There are stereotypes which are charactures of what people are perceived to be, but to work a room based on them would be illogical.
If all submission and all domination was innate, you might - at stretch - have a go with stereotypes. But it isn't. Apart from anything else, the cues you mentioned are subjective.

the.dark.

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Post #: 50

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:02:29 AM

mnottertail

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no, because they both wear suspenders.

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Post #: 51

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:02:38 AM

PainfullyCurious

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So... you equate behavior, which is within our control, to a cointoss?
Well, that's the kind of thing I'd be very interested in discussing in a different thread.

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Post #: 52

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:12:44 AM

nubianmuscle

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I would say, "No" you can't necessarily spot a sub in public. The first two subs I ever met approached me and BOTH had very aggressive Type A personalities outside of BDSM. One was actually a very successful business owner. What was funny is that they both said they could tell I was a Dom and at that point I had never even HEARD of BDSM, much less knew what it was.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I usually spot them by following the trail of lettuce, tomatoes, onions and oil and vinegar that they drop as they walk along.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 53

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:12:46 AM

LaTigresse

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Subtle? Perhaps yes, in some instances with some people.

Hell, there would be days, if you met me briefly, in some random situation, you might be stupid enough to think I was submissive. I haven't a submissive bone in my body but that doesn't mean I run about, strutting my domly ass all over the place, expecting random strangers to drop to their knees. I do courteous things like, allowing someone that appears to be in a hurry and/or has less items to get in front of my at a grocery checkout. Or..omg.....say things like ' please and thank you'. All sorts of things that pop that fantasy bubble of what some people think a dominant is supposed to be.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 54

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:20:38 AM

subtlebutterfly

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I wouldn't be able to spot a dominant let alone submissive even if they'd be standing right in front of me with a blingbling sign around their neck stating so.

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Post #: 55

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:24:15 AM

LaTigresse

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Laughing at the blingbling

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 56

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:25:39 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

So... you equate behavior, which is within our control, to a cointoss?

Yet the very insinuation you are making is that our behavior is out of our control and that certain manifestations of it are (near-) always indicative of the predisposition to dominance or submission in personal relationships.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 57

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:53:07 AM

PainfullyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

So... you equate behavior, which is within our control, to a cointoss?

Yet the very insinuation you are making is that our behavior is out of our control and that certain manifestations of it are (near-) always indicative of the predisposition to dominance or submission in personal relationships.

Well, I think we're getting more honest about why this thread upsets so many people...

Earlier, in this very thread, I said this:
I guess what I take for granted is that I've already made my peace with the fact that there are no gaurentees in life. In my opinion, it's not a good enough reason to stick my head up my ****ss, but some people feel it's a good excuse to be angry and remain aloof of how the world works.

So, in light of this new information, please rid yourself of the notion that I am looking for a "near-always" fool-proof plan. Moving on, how do cues (my apologies for the earlier spelling errors) make your behavior out of control.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 58

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:57:54 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

So, in light of this new information, please rid yourself of the notion that I am looking for a "near-always" fool-proof plan.

So, you're not interested in reliable results? If you were just asking in what ways guessing can be done, you could have just said as much.

I prefer 20 sided dice.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/4/2009 11:58:20 AM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 59

RE: Can you spot a sub? - 11/4/2009 11:58:30 AM

LaTigresse

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You also have to keep in mind that perception of disposition is almost as varied as the person in question. Many many times I have seen, both here and in person, people that claim to be one thing and have a partner that joyously agrees, while I sit back and see just the opposite. An s-type leading the D or M type around by their fine hairs.

The reality is that it really only matters to those involved/affected by it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)

Post #: 60

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