RE: Encouraging dominant behaviour from my Wife

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RE: Encouraging dominant behaviour from my Wife - 11/15/2009 3:43:48 PM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
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My husband offered himself to me. I saw it comming, because he told me before he got arroused when I ordered him around. He explained that in fact I was dominating him. So, when I accepted his "gift", I also told him I was going to set out the rules. So it all turns around me now, and I use his services without him being rewarded with a trashing or a session of whipping. I reserve that for the few times I want to correct his behaviour, but in the mean time he serveds me by liberating me from stupid and time-consuming tasks, by carrying around my shopping, by getting to know my habbits and anticipating on them. Our relation is a 24/7 where I call the shots, take all the decisions. That also means he goes to work to provide our budget while I read or do something cultural.
I'm happy I accepted, but would you be happy if your wife denied you your fantasies? because in our relation my slave gets his satisfaction in making me happy every day of our life.

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(in reply to AAkasha)

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RE: Encouraging dominant behaviour from my Wife - 11/15/2009 10:58:22 PM

defeated

Posts: 21
Joined: 8/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I will add as a mother that the lack of sex and the total disregard of my needs didn't help the marriage but what precipatated the divorce was that he was a bad father.

I'm thinking that you're a little scarred, honey. It's obvious that you married a lousy man, which doesn't really surprise me because I can see from your posts here that you're a poor judge.

I live for my kids. I absolutely adore them, and I spend every spare minute I can with them. I normally eat three meals a day with them, and almost always cook two out of those myself. My wife is NOT the sole carer. We have a massive amount of family support and I pull my weight as a Dad.

You're just barking up the wrong tree. I have something that you don't, and that's a marriage that I'm going to make work.

Anyway, I'm through posting here. I don't need advice from people who couldn't even hold their own marriage together. Mine is fine, and I can work through the issues I have with myself in confidence that I'll come out better and stronger.

So thanks again to those with helpful advice. I've already started to be more ascertive over the last few weeks and it's going well. I took my wife out for dinner and dancing on the weekend and before we left, she came to me naked asking me to choose her clothes for her. It's been years since she's done that... if she wants the dominant man she married back, then she deserves him.

Anyway, like I said I'm probably finished posting here, and won't be bothering to defend myself anymore.

< Message edited by defeated -- 11/15/2009 11:00:15 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Encouraging dominant behaviour from my Wife - 11/23/2009 8:41:06 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DevotionalSex

Akasha,

My experience is that most woman do not want to be dominant. So while it is true that a novice dominant will take time to grow confident in her power, it is not true that most women given the opportunity to become dominant will want to do this.

The reason I suggested Devotional Sex to defeated is that with this technique his wife does not need to become dominant to become his Princess.

Cheers, Michael

One thing that hasn't changed in the wake of Sewell's book is my advice to women with low libidos: You can have strict monogamy or you can have a low libido, ladies, but you can't have both.

by Dan Savage concerning wives with low libidos and the husband feeling neglected. Savage's take also applies to couples with kink incompatibility. Just because the OP is married, doesn't mean he should live a lifetime of denial.

Kudos to the OP for thinking outside the box, being intelligently open, and showing tact in the bedroom.

LT marriages are all about flexibility.

(in reply to DevotionalSex)

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Post #: 103