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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: lally2

i have been inspired to submit by someone who took me way beyond myself, beyond my preconceived ideas of myself and made me more aware of me and what i am than anyone else in my life.

I still don't see the attraction. It's a bit too fanciful for my tastes. It isn't the same thing as saying that some people are so completely well-suited to each other that it pushes the envelope of expectations they thought they would have. It's almost a suggestion that being with X person makes you an entirely different person than who you are. That's...weird.

It also strikes me as the being enamoured with the wanting to be a person's 'exception'. Like women partnering up with traditional 'bad boy' guys because they secretly want to be 'the one' that breaks him (by his own willingness, we presume) of his infidelitous and wayward ways.

It's like wanting the magic of the relationship to turn someone into something they normally aren't for an ego boost. And not to say we don't all get our ego boosts one way or another in a relationship, but this seems a very backwards way of doing it.

Obviously, however, YMMV.

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ORIGINAL: subangi

I dont think what Lally is saying that her inspiration with "x" makes her a different person than who she is.  My thoughts are that she means it brings something out of her that she "normally" wouldnt do or think, and it is a postive thing.   Using a superficial example.....its like the girl who loves to take walks.  She meets "X" who is athletic and it inspires her to start jogging, then 6  months later she is signing up for a marathon.  She is amazed and feels so wonderful she has taken leaps and bounds, but ,  if it weren't for "X" she would still be taking a stroll at the park.

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ORIGINAL: subangi

Another example might be the "Scrooge" type who is inspired by someone and decides to do something charitable. 
Both are inspirational, positive and takes them to a different and surprising level.  I dont think that "X" would be doing that for an ego boost ....well, maybe some,  but most that encourage, support , and bring about positive stimulating happy results because they see the potential to do so, and have that certain chemistry to "unlock that door".

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ORIGINAL: subangi

In all honesty, I felt a little intimidated to respond to your thoughts, since you"come out like a lion" at times,  but, I had my Wheaties this morning.   

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero


Yes. but we're talking about something the submissive already knows they like, in this case. The depths to which we are willing to go (in any emotional facet) change depending on our comfort and chemistry with the specific partner...but which parts are stationary and which are not? Can we be so enamored with someone that we would do something entirely contrary to our nature? Are we selectively fickle in what we think we want if presented with an attractive enough prize? If I was offered a relationship by Shirley Manson, but I had to be in the role of a submissive, would I do it (hmmm......)?


There is a difference in walking in the park and sweating your ass off, straining every muscle in your body, forcing yourself to reach a height you never thought of aspiring to.  "X"  took the stones that were sitting there and rubbed them together to initiate a spark that began a fire.  No prior knowledge of knowing that a discovery of fire could happen with being the stones you are,  yet that newfound energy and surprise to what can be, aspired from a catalyst .  THAT is what can be a mind blowing experience with another person.      


I'm wary of this process only because it's so easy to nod at it when positive experiences are presented. I guess it's an important distinction, but if someone is malleable to their situation, it is with some degree, at least, in either potential direction: positive or negative. And if we would consider negative examples of being malleable, suddenly it's a trait many might start wagging their finger at (not that it would change that trait either way).


This is true,  but we are talking of positive effects within a dynamic relationship. 

quote:

I prefer snow leopard.
I blame it on my affinity for kitties. I suppose I do have a "pounce" tendency in debate...but pouncing is fun!

I like that.  The element of suprise with a pounce can be more effective than the roar of a lion. 


I never segmented quotes like this  in a reply.... I hope it turns out.   

(in reply to NihilusZero)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2



hey.the dark and sunshine(miss)

i have been inspired to submit by someone who took me way beyond myself, beyond my preconceived ideas of myself and made me more aware of me and what i am than anyone else in my life.

and i have submitted to people because submission is inherent in me and it is what i am in the end.

i would take the former any time.

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ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been following this very interesting thread and would like to interject a viewpoint that some might not have considered.

Being an alpha or dominant in this society is fairly safe. You may have times (at work perhaps) when you have to curb your innate need to be pleased or exert control, but in general other people are not a danger to you because of your dominant nature.

Being submissive is a completely different venture. Most submissives (save the uber needy ones) learn early on that to attempt to please everyone is futile, and to submit to someone who you do know well enough to trust is dangerous. Submissives develop the ability to be quite self reliant because in order to exist without a dominant partner, they HAVE to.  (Which is (IMO) why you get some many "you are not a true sub" threads).

In any case, I do not believe submission is inspired by a particular person. Rather, a specific dominant inspires a feeling if safety that allows the submissive to "let go" in all kinds of ways that other situations and relationships do not allow.

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ORIGINAL: daintydimples
In any case, I do not believe submission is inspired by a particular person. Rather, a specific dominant inspires a feeling if safety that allows the submissive to "let go" in all kinds of ways that other situations and relationships do not allow.

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ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples
In any case, I do not believe submission is inspired by a particular person. Rather, a specific dominant inspires a feeling if safety that allows the submissive to "let go" in all kinds of ways that other situations and relationships do not allow.

What's the difference? I'm afraid I'm not seeing it.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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for it to be freely given it needs first to be inspired.

For some I'm sure this needs to happen although it's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that a person needs inspiration to be who they are "naturally".
.

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there are some people i can be totally me with and some i cant so much. the feelings i get when im with someone who wants all of me, demands all of me is so emancipating, exciting, invigoration, freeing that it inspires me, what can i say, im so fucking thrilled to be able to be completely honest, open, vulnerable, transparent, ME!!! - when so often we have to hide so much of who we are so much of the time.

so yuh, when im given that green light (inspired) i give freely. and actually its in all relationships - and probably im inspired by people most days, inspired to hug the old woman who looked so lost in her dementia yesterday, inspired to make the old fella laugh so much today he nearly fell of his chair. its not that i am looking to be inspired to be me atal, its being given that invitation, big or small to reach out and give into a space that wants to receive.

not everyone wants all of a person, they might think they do, they may even say so, but when it comes right down to it they cant hack it.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

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ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

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ORIGINAL: daintydimples
In any case, I do not believe submission is inspired by a particular person. Rather, a specific dominant inspires a feeling if safety that allows the submissive to "let go" in all kinds of ways that other situations and relationships do not allow.

What's the difference? I'm afraid I'm not seeing it.

indeed, Panda, this slave doesn't see it either...she must be "uber-needy" or something.

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...in the end i want to be inspired to trust completely so i can submit completely - im greedy like that ...

more power to ya', lally2!!!  as long as it doesn't make it into the "Submissive Handbook" as a requirement, this slave is all good!

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ORIGINAL: subangi

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: lally2

i have been inspired to submit by someone who took me way beyond myself, beyond my preconceived ideas of myself and made me more aware of me and what i am than anyone else in my life.

I still don't see the attraction. It's a bit too fanciful for my tastes. It isn't the same thing as saying that some people are so completely well-suited to each other that it pushes the envelope of expectations they thought they would have. It's almost a suggestion that being with X person makes you an entirely different person than who you are. That's...weird.

It also strikes me as the being enamoured with the wanting to be a person's 'exception'. Like women partnering up with traditional 'bad boy' guys because they secretly want to be 'the one' that breaks him (by his own willingness, we presume) of his infidelitous and wayward ways.

It's like wanting the magic of the relationship to turn someone into something they normally aren't for an ego boost. And not to say we don't all get our ego boosts one way or another in a relationship, but this seems a very backwards way of doing it.

Obviously, however, YMMV.

I dont think what Lally is saying that her inspiration with "x" makes her a different person than who she is. My thoughts are that she means it brings something out of her that she "normally" wouldnt do or think, and it is a postive thing. Using a superficial example.....its like the girl who loves to take walks.  She meets "X" who is athletic and it inspires her to start jogging, then 6  months later she is signing up for a marathon.  She is amazed and feels so wonderful she has taken leaps and bounds, but ,  if it weren't for "X" she would still be taking a stroll at the park. 
Another example might be the "Scrooge" type who is inspired by someone and decides to do something charitable. 
Both are inspirational, positive and takes them to a different and surprising level.  I dont think that "X" would be doing that for an ego boost ....well, maybe some,  but most that encourage, support , and bring about positive stimulating happy results because they see the potential to do so, and have that certain chemistry to "unlock that door".  

In all honesty, I felt a little intimidated to respond to your thoughts, since you"come out like a lion" at times,  but, I had my Wheaties this morning.   

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...in the end i want to be inspired to trust completely so i can submit completely - im greedy like that ...

more power to ya', lally2!!!  as long as it doesn't make it into the "Submissive Handbook" as a requirement, this slave is all good!

well, lets hope not - that wouldnt be a proud day atall
 
this slave has trusted many a person who wasn't worthy of it...but the ones this slave has blindly trusted without any requisite inspiration or proofs that have enriched her life beyond measure have made up for it tenfold.

im not suggesting in anyway that this is the litmus test to beat them all. it hasnt really worked for me too well so far but i may have at least reached a point where i can blindly trust without the requisite for inspiration but know the difference