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ORIGINAL: agirl

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ORIGINAL: lally2



hey.the dark and sunshine(miss)

i have been inspired to submit by someone who took me way beyond myself, beyond my preconceived ideas of myself and made me more aware of me and what i am than anyone else in my life.

and i have submitted to people because submission is inherent in me and it is what i am in the end.

i would take the former any time.

Isn't that really saying that you *submit* because you're submissive and that certain people have had the ability to connect with you in a way that others don't or haven't, ONCE you have submitted?

I mean, you still have to submit initially...or was he *taking you places* before you even submitted? etc

agirl

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ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

Hi lally
I been meditating on your thread these past couple days, and came up with this for representation of who i am and how i respond to people and life in general. There are aspects of me that are always there, and submissiveness is one of these aspects. It doesn't go away, but i think it takes certain people, and their chemistry, for it to come out in different degrees within me. As you know and we have had many conversations over this, i am a natural born psychic and work as one. When reading tarot or just using my psychic abilities, some people i will connect more with then another. In thinking about this, i realize this can be applied to all areas of my life. Everyone connects in our world, but at different degrees.
Hope you are doing well, my friend.

wisdomofgiving

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ORIGINAL: agirl

Isn't that really saying that you *submit* because you're submissive and that certain people have had the ability to connect with you in a way that others don't or haven't, ONCE you have submitted?

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: agirl

Isn't that really saying that you *submit* because you're submissive and that certain people have had the ability to connect with you in a way that others don't or haven't, ONCE you have submitted?

In which case what is actually being "inspired" is the depth of devotion, with submission taking a more pervasive nature due to that feeling of chemistry, comfort, and trust.

Of course it does seem that the bigger differences seem to be just linguistic in this whole thing.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: agirl

Isn't that really saying that you *submit* because you're submissive and that certain people have had the ability to connect with you in a way that others don't or haven't, ONCE you have submitted?

In which case what is actually being "inspired" is the depth of devotion, with submission taking a more pervasive nature due to that feeling of chemistry, comfort, and trust.

Of course it does seem that the bigger differences seem to be just linguistic in this whole thing.

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ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: agirl

Isn't that really saying that you *submit* because you're submissive and that certain people have had the ability to connect with you in a way that others don't or haven't, ONCE you have submitted?

In which case what is actually being "inspired" is the depth of devotion, with submission taking a more pervasive nature due to that feeling of chemistry, comfort, and trust.

Of course it does seem that the bigger differences seem to be just linguistic in this whole thing.

I'm not quite so sure about that. To my eye, the most significant point of departure seems to be a lack of a common definition of the word "submission" - some people seem to be regarding it as a way of being, others as a deliberate action or set of actions.
And that seems to be the point in the road where both sides just sail past each other. Which seems very strange to me. I am a submissive; I am always a submissive, it's who and what i am, it's my nature.

Yet, even though I am always a submissive, i rarely submit. There are very few women I meet who... inspire... that reaction in me. In my mind, it's a very good, even an elegant term for what happens when i meet and interact with someone whose personal chemistry is such that I find myself wanting to simply follow her around like a puppy waiting to see what I can do to please her or make her smile at any given instant. The fact that only a few women inspire that reaction in me - the fact that i don't have that reaction to every single woman I meet - doesn't make me any less a submissive. Others in this thread seem to be arguing differently, and frankly it's a very strange argument to my ear. I have to believe the breakdown is more semantic than anything else. People just aren't talking about the same thing, and don't even realize that.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: agirl

Isn't that really saying that you *submit* because you're submissive and that certain people have had the ability to connect with you in a way that others don't or haven't, ONCE you have submitted?

In which case what is actually being "inspired" is the depth of devotion, with submission taking a more pervasive nature due to that feeling of chemistry, comfort, and trust.

Of course it does seem that the bigger differences seem to be just linguistic in this whole thing.

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ORIGINAL: agirl

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: agirl

Isn't that really saying that you *submit* because you're submissive and that certain people have had the ability to connect with you in a way that others don't or haven't, ONCE you have submitted?

In which case what is actually being "inspired" is the depth of devotion, with submission taking a more pervasive nature due to that feeling of chemistry, comfort, and trust.

Of course it does seem that the bigger differences seem to be just linguistic in this whole thing.

Certainly, where I'm concerned, that's the case.

I'm not submissive and when I asked to be owned many moons ago, it wasn't from *feelings* of wanting to *submit*. I just wanted to be his, lock, stock and barrel. I didn't think about *submission*.

I knew it meant I'd have to *do what he said*.....but that was something I'd been doing for years anyway because *doing what he said* had proved to be a pretty good idea over time. Being owned meant that he could insist on it, rather than me just *choosing* to do what he said or suggested.

I had no idea how significantly that seemingly subtle difference would affect me.

I'm still not *submissive*, even after years of being owned.......but HAVING to submit in those hard times, those teeth-grindingly stubborn times, over years, HAS *inspired* my worship,  slavish devotion and heart-stopping vulnerability.

He didn't have all that when the collar went on......I didn't have it then, either.

Last week someone said, "He can do no wrong in your eyes"...... Well, no, he can't...... but what she can't grasp or understand is, that I'm not guarded, I LET him have access, I risked having my feelings hurt.....I gave him the chance to REALLY know the good, the bad and the ugly. If you don't dare step along that path, you're unlikely to know the possibilities there. I'm not waiting for the *wrong*, I'm not looking for it , I'm not wasting energy protecting myself from him.
To me, or FOR me........ it isn't JUST about the man HE is and what HE *inspires*.......I had to be a willing participant in joining him and continually trusting him, even when it's tugging horribly on parts of me that'd rather it went away.

So..submitting is the least of it........ trusting and *going there* with my REAL self has been the bigger journey, for me.

agirl

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ORIGINAL: lally2

yes. thats it completely and when you feel it linguistics have very little to do with it.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: lally2

yes. thats it completely and when you feel it linguistics have very little to do with it.

Aye. I mean that it's semantics that are (for the most part) causing the confusion.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

I don't know..I guess it seems to me that some people put so much emphasis on the idea of being inspired..so much so that it sounds as if a Dominate must do something special (just for them) to attract their attention.

.

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ORIGINAL: lally2

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

I don't know..I guess it seems to me that some people put so much emphasis on the idea of being inspired..so much so that it sounds as if a Dominate must do something special (just for them) to attract their attention.

.

that isnt whats being said atall, again - it is the feelings involved, provoked that inspires submission or dominance (either infact) - i dont believe anyone has said that the Dominant should do something special, well cept for you ofcourse

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

Well, even if no one else said it, what the heck is wrong with the idea that a dominant needs to do (or be) something special?

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

If you're the type of submissive who just needs to submit to someone, anyone, without feeling that there's something special about that person, well then fine, good for you. You shouldn't have any trouble finding what you want, and there's nothing wrong with that.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

But believing that a dominant person should never have to do anything to "inspire" or induce submission, and any sub who thinks that way is "topping from the bottom", well that's just way off base.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

Frankly, a "dominant" who's not exerting some influence over another's behavior isn't dominating at all, but merely passively accepting submission.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
Well, even if no one else said it, what the heck is wrong with the idea that a dominant needs to do (or be) something special?

In order to gain someone's desire for partnership or to gain that same partner's submission? It's a pertinent difference.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
But believing that a dominant person should never have to do anything to "inspire" or induce submission, and any sub who thinks that way is "topping from the bottom", well that's just way off base.

Frankly, I consider my job in a relationship to be to "inspire" the desire of the person to stay with me. I expect the roles within the dynamic to be otherwise static.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
Frankly, a "dominant" who's not exerting some influence over another's behavior isn't dominating at all, but merely passively accepting submission.

Oh, really? All D/s dynamics must be wrought from continual overt enforcements?

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I smiled when I read this.. a very warm smile.  Because yes, I totally believe that a person can find their own happiness and I would.  But then, that it is me.  Lots of people in different situations - whether confinement or knowledge of death (as another example) find their own internal peace and joy.  As for submission?  I would submit to my surroundings - call it submitting to ones 'fate' and being accepting of it.  Yes, I could find the essence to do that.
If you are in confinement, that doesn't make you unable to be straight.  It just means you have no way of expressing it with someone else(ie having sex).  It doesn't mean you aren't a brunette, just because you are alone  Or any other part of the self that makes you what you are.
I would disagree that because we are social or that we naturally are predisposed towards being grouping creatures.  There are many people who chose to be alone or cut themselves off.  We are like birds - some of us flock together, some just come together when the need arises(to procreate etc) and spend as much time alone as we can.   I love company, but I am happy and content alone also, because I feel at peace with myself and my spirituality.
Life it stunningly beautiful.  Even in the quiet.

the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: CaringandReal
You're quite lucky.

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I think I am one of those that would go crazy without human contact--it reaffirms who and what I am. All of who and what I am, actually. :)

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 I've chatted with people, however, who've done full (tank) or partial (the latter usually enforced by sickness) sensory dep., and they've all claimed that the mind fills in, in unusual and brilliant ways, the blanks left by the environment being limited or shut off. So maybe there'd be hope for me.

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I'd just rather someone not decide to find this out through a scientific experiment!

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a "dominant" who's not exerting some influence over another's behavior isn't dominating at all, but merely passively accepting submission.