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inspired submission - 11/28/2009 4:32:00 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		ooh, its gone pink, the board, lol, not my bum - anyway...,

prompted by a cmail from a guy who said that submission can only come through being freely given i responded by agreeing but added that also submission needs to be drawn out of the submissive.

for it to be freely given it needs first to be inspired.

but which does come first.

of course there will always be those situations where two people meet and the dynamic is right there, palpable and strong. but for some theres a process that has to slowly unfurl.

the idea that a submissive should be instant in her acquiescence is by and large a fallacy and by the same token, the instant Dom is generally hooted at for being after quick gratification and then onwards and upwards to the next.

many have described it as a dance. of the two symbiotic polarities coming together. but again im wondering, which comes first the inspiration and then the submission or the submission which then inspires.

each and everyone is different here and i was just curious if some might like to share how that fusing came about for you.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 11/28/2009 4:44:16 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 4:56:24 AM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		first inspiration and then submission... it need for me to exist chemistry...

the all submission all the time, everywhere and to everybody even when you don´t meet the dom is in my opinion of a BDSM fairy tell, very good for short stories not in real life...

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 5:02:55 AM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		The tread is realy quite wrong, in that it presumes a sub is a sub and all think and act alike. Nothing could be more wrong. Some women runs around to find some male they can be submissive to, to the extend that they trow them self at any mans feet. To the ones who can be aggressively dominant until they run in to that guy who can turn them submissives. The term can also be a bedroom only once a month thing to the full 24/7 live in scenario where it aplies in all aspect of their life. So realy it is up to the individual D/s dynamic what works. Not some predefined rules set by some selfappointet "experts" on the internet. CM and all the sites like it is just a meeting place for the people being out the box and probably offers a greater variety than the normal dating sites. That makes the search even harder.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 5:11:05 AM   
KateyCaine


Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

ooh, its gone pink, the board, lol, not my bum - anyway...,

prompted by a cmail from a guy who said that submission can only come through being freely given i responded by agreeing but added that also submission needs to be drawn out of the submissive.

for it to be freely given it needs first to be inspired.

but which does come first.

of course there will always be those situations where two people meet and the dynamic is right there, palpable and strong. but for some theres a process that has to slowly unfurl.

the idea that a submissive should be instant in her acquiescence is by and large a fallacy and by the same token, the instant Dom is generally hooted at for being after quick gratification and then onwards and upwards to the next.

many have described it as a dance. of the two symbiotic polarities coming together. but again im wondering, which comes first the inspiration and then the submission or the submission which then inspires.

each and everyone is different here and i was just curious if some might like to share how that fusing came about for you.



The instant is there where two people recognise who they are - one may be Dom, one may be sub. The concept of acquiescence being instantaneous is a little fantastic, but if the emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual connection is there.....anything is possible. The "dynamic" itself will take time, doing the groundwork is key; just don't force it, and if it's meant to be, it will come :)

Submission is freely given only when there is closeness, trust, respect and love to a degree.

When it's right, you just know :)

k.

_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 5:30:32 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		I suppose it would depend on how a person defines submission.  For me, submission is yeilding to authority.  I yeild to all authority, my boss, law enforcement, president of the munch group, even implied authority like traffic signals, warning labels,etc. and I yeild in proportion and within the context of that authority.

I do not need 'inspiration' to yeild, I just need to be able to recognize authority. 

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 5:55:32 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello lally,
I think there are some people who are wired toward submission or dominance and then they are put in a position where that leaning is brought out. 

I was just thinking about this today.  Making a little lunch for people who are driving far, I find myself WANTING to do it, hoping to make their lives better because they are caring, affectionate people who interact with me in a way that inspires me to want to soothe them or please them.  There are other people I would do it for because it is what I do, but it is selfish at that point.  I do it to check something off my list.  But for these people, there is something deeper.  There is affection and a connection that pushes me to act in my caring.

People who are submissive can pull it out of themselves for a certain time, but without the interaction, without the inspiration, the vine withers, the river runs dry.  We need the inspiration from outside to continue.

For me, it is not all or nothing - freely given or inspired.  It is symbiotic.  It is freely given but the continued giving is inspired.

Kudos to you for the thread!
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 5:57:39 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		I want to know why it went pink. (confused)

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 7:19:41 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...each and everyone is different here and i was just curious if some might like to share how that fusing came about for you...


indeed, we are all different.  this slave has never experienced "inspired submission", but also doesn't feel the need to negate it's existence or suggest it is pure fantasy just because she hasn't personally experienced it.

quote:

...but again im wondering, which comes first the inspiration and then the submission or the submission which then inspires...


considering that this slave is still waiting to experience "inspired submission", but has a few decades of experience with submission sans "inspiration", this slave will vote for the submission coming first...for her, at least.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 7:58:21 AM   
BloodLuna


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline 		I've been a writer for most of my life. I've spent alot of time wasted waiting on "inspiration". I learned that instead I need to just sit down and write, anything, even if it turns out to be crap, and eventually as I'm doing what I do, just writing, inspiration comes.

I'm learning as I go that submission is the same thing (at least for me). I'm trying to just do, just submit, just obey. Sometimes it turns out to be crap and my owner corrects me. But most of the time I discover that, as I do - as I just obey, I get small periods of inspiration where I stop just doing and actually enjoy. I am expecting those moments to grow and become longer periods of time until the inspiration and the doing become one, like they do with my writing.

But for now, I live for those moments.

Luna

< Message edited by BloodLuna -- 11/28/2009 8:00:14 AM >

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"



(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:03:03 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		On a daily basis, yes, you just do it. But in order to submit in the beginning there was something that called to me in him, something that made me choose him and not all the others. I'm assuming that's true for everyone, or did you just print out the hundreds of emails you had gotten and throw a dart blindfolded, submitting to whoever had written the one it pinned?

I don't need inspiration to get him more tea. I did need it to agree to meet him. And I still need it on occasion. I don't submit in a vacuum. I need a fair bit of active domination from him to feel warm and fuzzy and wet and hazy.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to BloodLuna)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:12:44 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...each and everyone is different here and i was just curious if some might like to share how that fusing came about for you...


indeed, we are all different.  this slave has never experienced "inspired submission", but also doesn't feel the need to negate it's existence or suggest it is pure fantasy just because she hasn't personally experienced it.

quote:

...but again im wondering, which comes first the inspiration and then the submission or the submission which then inspires...


considering that this slave is still waiting to experience "inspired submission", but has a few decades of experience with submission sans "inspiration", this slave will vote for the submission coming first...for her, at least.


Hi Beth,
I think you know how much I respect your opinion.  I'm really intrigued by what you've written above.  It would seem that what you are saying is that the person to whom you are submitting is irrelevant.  Having had a bit of time reading Mr. Merc's posts, and a couple of exchanged emails with y'all, I can see how HE would pull the submission out of you.  There are others that I would think wouldn't.  I can't imagine that in the past you dropped willy nilly to any many who roared.

Could you tease out the difference if there is one for you?

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:14:20 AM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

On a daily basis, yes, you just do it. But in order to submit in the beginning there was something that called to me in him, something that made me choose him and not all the others. I'm assuming that's true for everyone, or did you just print out the hundreds of emails you had gotten and throw a dart blindfolded, submitting to whoever had written the one it pinned?

I don't need inspiration to get him more tea. I did need it to agree to meet him. And I still need it on occasion. I don't submit in a vacuum. I need a fair bit of active domination from him to feel warm and fuzzy and wet and hazy.




i reminbered my first meeting with my Owner and if it didn´t made a click, if it didn´t inspired me... i would not have submited...

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:17:28 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

there will always be those situations where two people meet


Submission isn't a dance, a polarity, a gift (that's so much bull) - submission is a need a submissive has. Any sub who adds "dynamics" to her need is topping from the bottom, a.k.a. a manipulator. Simple rules work a lot better than shades of grey.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:18:32 AM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		Hi Lally,

for me submission is something natural within the context of a D/s relationship. Submitting to Her is just the natural thing to do. Can I, do I submit to everyone in all things? Absolutely not. It doesn't seem natural for me to submit to another man except under the rarest of circumstances.( like you mentioned in your op) It's been a while since I've been in this kind of relationship, so submission on a daily basis and in everyday affairs is coming back gradually(my last relationship was vanilla) and the levels are quite profound.

In the past, I've had several D/s relationships with women who were Dommes mostly because of their anger and frustrations, not because of their genuine interest/need to lead a healthy relationship and guide a submissive man down the path of realization through an FLR. While the sexual expressions were quite exhilarating, the inner needs/cultivation of my submission were actually neglected and even abused. With the exception of our playtime, I was finding that my submission was naturally taking the lead as their unhealed pain kept them stuck on baser levels and I was staying one step ahead of them, so things just started evolving in an out-of-wack way. It was not fullfilling and I actually believe that I was hurting them in a spiritual sense.

When in a relationship, the mutual needs of caring, love and understanding are still there, and regardless of who is what orientation, these need to be met, or the relationship will fail. I don't see my submission to Her, or Her dominion over me as gifts. It simply is, what it is--- A satisfying D/s realtionship based on our mutual desire to guide/serve and be happy. Her dominance cultivates and urges my submission forward and upwards fostering personal growth and desire to become a better man. Finding someone who is naturally one step ahead of me in most things is rare(I say this in humility), and O/our relationship is a gift and a blessing to both of U/us. Her guidance and desire are slowly becoming my staff, supporting me as I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death because I fear no evil when at Her side. Her dominance and my submission fit together like a lock and key, opening new doors that I truly am humbled and yet excited to walk through with Her.

O/our fusing as you call it, is still taking place and hopefully will never reach its zenith for quite some time. There's so many facets and levels to explore together, each with its own sacred additions that offer solace and healing on levels that before now, had only been shadowy and vague. I'm not gushing here(too much lol), just stating what I'm finding with Her and why life has become so treasured and fullfilling once more. It is a dance, a dance that has no end in sight. Hopefully in 5 years, you will hear me saying the same things..lol.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:20:57 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

ooh, its gone pink, the board, lol, not my bum - anyway...,

prompted by a cmail from a guy who said that submission can only come through being freely given i responded by agreeing but added that also submission needs to be drawn out of the submissive.

for it to be freely given it needs first to be inspired.

but which does come first.

of course there will always be those situations where two people meet and the dynamic is right there, palpable and strong. but for some theres a process that has to slowly unfurl.

the idea that a submissive should be instant in her acquiescence is by and large a fallacy and by the same token, the instant Dom is generally hooted at for being after quick gratification and then onwards and upwards to the next.

many have described it as a dance. of the two symbiotic polarities coming together. but again im wondering, which comes first the inspiration and then the submission or the submission which then inspires.

each and everyone is different here and i was just curious if some might like to share how that fusing came about for you.

i understand what You mean, and i agree with you. i feel like while yes, i am an "s" type and i DO submit to my Master, its nice to feel like its being "brought" out of you. i miss that to be honest. i guess its along the lines of, i can't submit without His dominance and, He can't dominate without my submission.


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:28:42 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

I suppose it would depend on how a person defines submission.  For me, submission is yeilding to authority.  I yeild to all authority, my boss, law enforcement, president of the munch group, even implied authority like traffic signals, warning labels,etc. and I yeild in proportion and within the context of that authority.

I do not need 'inspiration' to yeild, I just need to be able to recognize authority. 


Similarly.

I was certainly *inspired* to follow his very good and sage advice and direction many times over the years before he owned me because I had come to respect him. When it comes to submission, well, I do that because I asked for his authority and it would be silly not to submit to it. It's what I asked for.

agirl

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 8:57:15 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

It would seem that what you are saying is that the person to whom you are submitting is irrelevant. Having had a bit of time reading Mr. Merc's posts, and a couple of exchanged emails with y'all, I can see how HE would pull the submission out of you. There are others that I would think wouldn't. I can't imagine that in the past you dropped willy nilly to any many who roared.
"Roaring" isn't a display of dominance, neither is a profile label - dominant or submissive.

"Inspiration" From what to what? From a natural state to an act in response to another who may or may not also be "inspired" to act? Wow - that requires a lot of on going mutual inspiration.

It may sound as if beth puts herself out to everyone; but the reality is few have much beyond their roar. Sure beth "inspires" many - but loses them when they find out they didn't inspire her to take the lead, to help them decide what to do to her, to set limits to them. this slave doesn't have an otherwise dominant personality that submits under certain circumstances, and in her experience that is what the majority of those who self identify as dominant WANT when they seek "a submissive" and she isn't wired that way. she doesn't need to be beaten to submit to an act - she could just enjoy the beating and the act. Without that inspiration it turns out the dominance wasn't there.

beth says from my initial contact to her, one sentence stood out in what I wrote. No fancy prose, no poem, a question; "Are you submissive or do you just get off thinking about being submissive?" her answer was yes, but she was hoping that the dominant wasn't just getting off on the thought and would be dominant; no inspiration required.

There's a paddle for every ass and hand that wants to swing it. Mutual inspiration facilitates fun. I was never looking to inspire, but enjoy myself with many who said I did. I got burned when what I perceived was submission was in reality my inspiring them to believe that I'd get tired of "this BDSM, Master/slave nonsense"; once reality that I really did forced them to lose that inspiration, the relationship and the marriage it also inspired was over.

I couldn't imagine worrying that a day would come when I wasn't inspired or inspiring. The pressure would be too much.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 9:07:01 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		i would say if the ONLY reason an "s" type submits is because the "s" type HAS to be inspired to do so, then they are probably not really an "s" type.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 9:12:11 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

I want to know why it went pink. (confused)



lol - i clicked on the box to write the text and it went a wonderful pink - boringly it went back to white when i posted it.

not very exciting, sorry

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: inspired submission - 11/28/2009 9:15:28 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i would say if the ONLY reason an "s" type submits is because the "s" type HAS to be inspired to do so, then they are probably not really an "s" type.


Why not? I'd bet it happens all the time. There isn't just one type of "s".

Seen many an "s" who was inspired by their job situation to come into the 'Hellfire' club on a Friday night, peel off their 'Chanel' business suit, strap themselves to a leather swing under a sign that says ""beat me, fuck me, cum & piss on me"; go home to their husband and tell him where to make reservations for Saturday's night dinner after the theater. Back on Monday morning they're back as CEO. She may not be inspired to go back to the club for another 4 months. That's an intelligent, self confident, "s" type, inspired by circumstances; and was a generally fun woman be around even when she wasn't "inspired".

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 20
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