RCdc
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
I know children and teens who have lost a parent and have that 'life experience' that I haven't experienced yet. Some children raise sick parents, have disabled ones and are their carers. Cope with illness themselves. Are raped. Endure bullying...
Children and teenagers can have just as much or sometimes even more life experiences of people twice their own age.
quote:
ORIGINAL: AnimusRex
I disagree. There is a premise here that I find false, that abuse and harsh treatment of young people forces them to mature at an accelerated rate.
I did not state that in the post you quoted. I never stated that children who experience trauma mature at an accelerated rate. I was disagreeing with candy that adults have more life experience just because they have more years.
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It would be wonderful if that were true! But sadly, no. Being beaten or raped or forced to endure the Holocaust as a child, doesn't turn the survivors into mini-adults at the age of 13. Having your childish innocence and naivete beaten out of you, doesn't magically give these survivors the wisdom, the perspective, the judgement and discernment that adults have.
This is were we would disagree with the second part of your discussion, because adults do not automatically have good judgement or discernment over those younger. And I am not just speaking children or teens - I am also including 20 year olds and 30. These forums show classic examples over and over that 40 and 50 year olds are just as immature and lacking common sense as anyone else of any other age.
People don't wake up on the morning of their 13th birthday and are suddenly capable of being a teen- or their 20th birthday and are suddenly 'all grown up' or on their 50th, they aren't automatically worldly wise and positively discerning.
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What happens to survivors of childhood abuse is that they end up being still children, except children with emotional scars, children with anger and defensiveness and inability to bond; but they also still have the lack of understanding of consequences, the lack of perspective, the lack of judgement.
And sometimes those people go on to be adults that are still childlike with emotional scars and adults with anger issues. Children and young adults are not the only people prone to having a lack of understanding of consequences, and fucked up perspectives.
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This is why it is considered unfair to execute child killers, or to use child soldiers in war. Science has shown that this is biological- that adolecent brains literally are not completely formed to the same level as adults, that children are not capable of understanding long term consequences like adults- regardless of their history and and background. They think mostly in terms of short term gains, and constantly seek shortcuts to hard long term problems.
Like I have said before - not all children who pull legs off spiders are exhibting seriel killer qualities. Of course there is scientific reasoning - I am suggesting that lumping people into catagories based on their age and not taking into account an individual and the circumstances and background and instead stating that the amount of years a person walks the earth is what counts, is an ill conceived idea.
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And it is that very same short term shortcut thinking that leads adolecents to self-initiate themselves into the world of adults, on the flawed premise that if they could only have sex, or get drunk, or smoke cigarettes, then they would suddenly, magically, turn into adults.
Haven't we seen this? The teenage stud who finally loses his virginity, then swaggers around school with the bravado of a man- or the girl who is convinced she became a woman that night. But they are still adolescents, still unfit to be given the keys to adulthood- to be given contracts, to vote, to be forced to live with the long term consequences of actions.
It's not different to any age group in any community structure. Again - look at the cm forums.
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No, abuse doesn't have magical powers to let children skip over the messy adolecence, and make a shortcut into adulthood. It just produces damaged children, who are still children.
Who in turn, become damaged adults. Just older, and not always wiser for their years.
the.dark.
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RC&dc
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