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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Perhaps buying and sending would help, perhaps it wouldn't. That will depend on the specifics that we just don't know. I think offering the title will allow her to buy it on her own when she is ready and not have to contact him again about it until she is more informed and ready to discuss things.

Exactly, we don't know the specifics.  We don't know his family situation.  Also, there will be people reading this that might be in the same position who will have a different set up.  I just don't believe that advising buying and sending the books automatically in cases of parents is a good idea regardless if shes already disowned him and it can't make it any worse, because it might make it worse.  On something like this I believe time is the biggest thing.

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You misunderstand why I brought up his parents. I am not suggesting that his mother can handle it because Val's parents could. I brought up them to point out that even those who are willing to accept probably don't know where to find resources on their own. 

I understood, I just don't think that it's relevant.  The best thing the OP can do is work on his own feelings and emotions and not be weighed down by what his, or any other persons parents might or might not do.  The best thing he can do is to be himself and just carry on as he would and love his mother as he would and let her see how he grows.

the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Not quite sure why you had to tell her in the first place. What were you trying to accomplish? Do you tell everyone about your sex life? But what is done is done....

At this point all you can do is tell her you love her and continue on with your life. When she's ready to talk to you again, she will. In all likelihood she'll talk to you again eventually.

At that point when she does DO NOT talk about your sexlife. Just apologize, tell her you're sorry for ever bringing it up and you won't do it again.

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ORIGINAL: JJohnsJR24


I never told her, she some how found out.  I have no idea how.  Weather it be by finding something I have no idea.  She wouldn't tell me. 

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ORIGINAL: JJohnsJR24
My question is has anyone else ever had this kind of reaction from a family member and how did you handle it.

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ORIGINAL: JJohnsJR24

Hi all.  So today I had a pretty serious confrontation with my mom, who found out about my interest and involvement in this lifestyle.  And to say that she took it hard is well beyond an understatement.  She went off about saying how much of a weirdo I am in the community, and how much of an embarrassment I am to her and the family.  She also went on to say that I am now dead to her, and that I should never show my self around again, even for hollidays ect.  I dont know what to do or think about this.

My question is has anyone else ever had this kind of reaction from a family member and how did you handle it.  Because I honestly dont know what to do.  She is being so ignorant about this, and I dont understand why.  I really hope not many else on here had to go through what I just did because it was harsh.  Thanks for any input.

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And to say that she took it hard is well beyond an understatement. She went off about saying how much of a weirdo I am in the community, and how much of an embarrassment I am to her and the family. She also went on to say that I am now dead to her, and that I should never show my self around again, even for hollidays ect. I dont know what to do or think about this.

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I don't know what to do or think about this.

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

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And to say that she took it hard is well beyond an understatement. She went off about saying how much of a weirdo I am in the community, and how much of an embarrassment I am to her and the family. She also went on to say that I am now dead to her, and that I should never show my self around again, even for hollidays ect. I dont know what to do or think about this.

ugh...this is why one should never talk when angry.

I am talking as a mom here *so sit up straight and pay attention*  You are not dead to her, and she does not want you to stay away from her and the rest of your family. She lashed out at you in anger and frustration.
Let me clue you in to something John...mothers blame themselves when we see something "wrong" with our children. And please understand that the "wrong" of which i speak is secondary to her lack of understanding, generation, upbringing, faith, shock at the way she found out, etc. Normal, healthy children are a reflection of their parents...and so are the ones that are not quite so normal.

You both need time. You need time to forgive her for the hateful words she spoke. She needs time to forgive you for not being perfect. And you both need time to refocus your energy and realize there is no bond or love stronger than that of a mother and child.

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...there is no bond or love stronger than that of a mother and child...

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ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

There is no rejection that hurts as much as the rejection by a parent.  Even so, her reaction seems a bit extreme.

It's time to think about putting limits on your interaction with your family if for no other reason than to protect yourself.  I first had to learn to do this when my grandmother came into my home and told me that the beating I received from my then husband the night before was something I deserved.  That was my first real clue that love of family is not unconditional.  Yes, it is hard to live a life without family at first, but I have found that the love of good friends can more than make up for what you lack and in fact can be much healthier relationships than those with family.  My grandmother no longer visits nor do I visit her.  My mother has learned that I don't care to hear that my grandmother denies ever saying it, I know what I heard.   When your mother does reach back out, establish then what the limits will be.  She may have some limits of her own as well, find out what they are.  If she does not want to meet your Domme, don't introduce them under some other pretense.  If you must know how she found out, tell her you won't be around until she reveals the source.  Stick to your guns, don't let family walk all over you simply because they are family.

Lady