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RE: emotions - 12/16/2009 1:01:21 PM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
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From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
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I didnt read all the posts. Emotions are not things you choose or dont. They are. What one does with them is the ticket. Most of us crush them down in to a dark place so we dont have to feel them. People trigger our feelings, situations trigger them. Often the trigger can result in the pushed down feelings to all jump up together and sometimes, 'hair that breaks the camel's back', they come rushing out larger and more than the actual situation is about.

If someone does some fucked up thing, others will feel angry, afraid, grief and even heartbreak.

People who say they choose their feelings and all that rot, are letting their minds control them. The mind makes these separate declarations.

The will, the guts are where feelings lie. If the mind constantly shuts down the emotional center because it is the boss, then one day, 'hair that breaks the camels back', will force the emotions to rush up, the vessel is full, can no longer be obedient and hold it all down and in and head says, "No, no, no, I refuse to allow this". The heart has a heart attack trying to keep the emotions from rushing to the mind where the mind/spirit has refused to be a part of it. Or you could get cancer holding it all down and in. Or you could shove it outside of yourself and let the damage happen out there.

My opinion, take care of your feelings, listen to them. Move them in private where emotion haters cant shame you, hurt you because you express them.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 61

RE: emotions - 12/16/2009 1:45:28 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

Some say no one can make you feel a certain way...that sounds good but it is not reality. We are emotional beings and make all our judgments about people according to emotion. Now this can change with time but at any one time emotion rules.

You walk around the corner on a dark night and come face to face with a menacing person…emotion right then and there says fear and flee. But in a different situation you may find you like this person and have no fear at all.

Others claim they have total control of their emotions but they are just using one emotion to cover another. Basically emotion is a survival technique of the brain and it cannot be controlled it is automatic according to the input at that particular time.

Very few emotions are valid…the first impressions of people are generally wrong or at least partially flawed. Again that is not to say all first emotions are wrong either. We use our emotions over time to choose or screen most all interactions with people and life in general and in your own experience how often have you been wrong. This realization should give you a good idea how accurate your emotions are.

But the bottom line… over time your emotions govern your life…your friends…your enemies…and your environment of life

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 12/16/2009 1:50:12 PM >

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 62

RE: emotions - 12/16/2009 8:15:40 PM

cpK69

Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
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~fr~

Humans are sensual beings, experiencing through our senses.

Emotions are indicators; “yes I like this situation, no, I don’t like this situation” or something in between.

To say an emotion is invalid is to claim the emotion does not indicate anything… i.e. “you are not perceiving”.

It does not take an emotional to be able to react within a given situation. They only come into play when we take the experience personal; which happens in many situations, but it does not have to be that way.

Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 63

RE: emotions - 12/16/2009 10:22:14 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
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I believe most new emotions are nearly always invalid...because we have not gained enough information for a valid emotion…but we have one like it or not.

I must also disagree…it always takes an emotion of some kind or another to react. STOP right now and think of the emotion you are feeling because I think you are wrong. I am saying logic and emotion go hand in hand. Say you are a scientist and make a great discovery. Do you think emotion will not combine with the logic? In fact emotion often helps to make jumps in knowledge that logic would not make.

I believe every single action we take is guided by an emotion...a chemical reaction...that for instance makes you want to write a response to my post...it is an emotional response not purely logic…you want to be right and others to know you are right.

It is just how we work.

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 12/16/2009 10:23:19 PM >

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to cpK69)

Post #: 64

RE: emotions - 12/17/2009 8:35:34 AM

cpK69

Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

I believe most new emotions are nearly always invalid...

I’m not sure what you mean by “new emotion”.

By ‘invalid’ do you mean misdirected?

Another thought I had on the topic, last night; emotions don’t just indicate whether or not I like something, but also, what I believe is implied of me by the experience, and or, the intent of whoever is doing, or saying, whatever the emotional response is toward.

quote:

STOP right now and think of the emotion you are feeling because I think you are wrong.

You’re going to have to go a little stronger than “I must also disagree”, if you want to invoke an emotional response from me. I passed right over it and froze on the idea that I can act without feeling some sort of emotion.

I don’t believe I need an emotional response to discern I am hungry and choose something to eat, and your suggestion does not account for the large amount of time I spend ‘doing’, at work, where my thoughts are off contemplating completely different things; such as, emotions, and ‘emotional trigger responses’.

quote:

I believe every single action we take is guided by an emotion...a chemical reaction...that for instance makes you want to write a response to my post...it is an emotional response not purely logic…you want to be right and others to know you are right.

I am responding to your post because the topic is one of great interest to me, the conversation is nice, and I don’t get many opportunities to post, where I feel confident about my thoughts on the topic (or that I’ll even be on topic (lol)).

I want to be accurate, which means, if I’m wrong I want to know; but I have to be able to see it for myself, I can’t just have someone tell me I’m wrong, and believe.

I admit it is nice to have others agree with what I say, though, only if its truth, but when it doesn’t happen very often, you can learn to live without it.

quote:

It is just how we work.

Every day I wonder if I'm not becoming less and less human.

Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 65

RE: emotions - 12/17/2009 11:08:01 AM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

lol..I most always agree with you...I am very emotional about slights against my beliefs and yours and mind often coincide.

By new I mean a new situation or meeting a person for the first time. This provokes an emotion...usually not valid. What I mean by valid...is say at first this new person seems pushy... or cold...or even dumb. But with time you find those emotions were wrong...this is the norm not the exception.

You can call emotion by many names...perceptions, feelings, hunches...on and on but they are the same thing.

We usually don't disagree to the point that strong emotions are displayed but even in mild disagreement there is emotion just too small to illicit an action.

I can say this with honesty...each and every post I read I don't agree with evokes an emotion of one kind or another. Those I agree with do the same. Yes there are those that do not warrant a response but I usually am not motivated by an emotion to respond or just too damn tired or disgusted with the same argument...now that will invoke an emotion but i don’t respond.

Now don't tell me you have no emotions about food...I find that hard to believe. It may be an emotion of boredom...or hmmmm I can't wait to take a bite

Interest is a very strong emotion...it often accompanies other emotions but an emotion non the less.

Butch

ps...you are one of the most human people I know on this site...just the fact you worry about it makes you special.

< Message edited by kdsub -- 12/17/2009 11:09:29 AM >

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to cpK69)

Post #: 66

RE: emotions - 12/17/2009 12:00:10 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

1) You make me feel [this way].
and
2) All emotions are valid.

I don't accept either of these statements as accurate...... NO ONE makes me feel the way I do. I choose to feel a certain way because of the actions I perceive. I am the one making the choice of those feelings.... I accept that responsibility!

Secondly... NOT all my feelings are valid... but they exist regardless. Valid to me implies "Justified"... frankly... not all my feelings are justified! In fact.... they might outright be wrong because I am basing my feelings on wrong information or perception. I have been known to be angry and upset with the girls on many issues and if I acted as those feelings are justified and valid each and every time... life would be very unhappy for me. I might be angered at the girls because they are late from work... but with further information... I learn that the issue of why they is beyond there ability to control... IE.... an accident right in front of them as they returned home. I believe that accepting the concept that ALL my feelings are valid/justified is an subtle way to remove responsibility over my own feelings and the choices I make because of them!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 67

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 5:27:04 AM

PrincessofFire

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Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline

I think that emotions and feelings depend purely on perception, so therefore, those looking into a situation from the outside cannot make the claim that something someone is feeling is valid/invalid. Inna weird roundabout way, I think I am agreeing with your second statement.

I don't know how I feel about the first, sorry!

_____________________________

"I was put in this world to take care of you, as much as you were meant in your own way to take care of me." _My daddy

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 68

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 5:32:13 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

I was reading this thread and it brought up some feelings for me...not because of the original topic but because of one of the replies about emotions...so I was wondering what ya'll thought about a couple of statements that I have problems with....

1) You make me feel [this way].
and
2) All emotions are valid.

I have strong feelings about these statements but I am trying to be openminded here, so I will wait a while before I post those feelings...

If someone shoots Val in the head, they have made me grieve and made me want to kill them.

If Valyraen breaks the statue we bought on our honeymoon, he will make me cry and miss the statue.

This idea that we can choose not to be sad or angry strikes me as incredibly inhuman and makes us like robots.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 69

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 5:35:11 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessofFire

I think that emotions and feelings depend purely on perception, so therefore, those looking into a situation from the outside cannot make the claim that something someone is feeling is valid/invalid. Inna weird roundabout way, I think I am agreeing with your second statement.

I don't know how I feel about the first, sorry!

I have said to youngsters(Late teens to twenties) many times when I was teaching,

"Its never personal and always perception".

So many times people take things personal and what they interpret isn't the truth. When someone does do "something wrong" toward you its more about their baggage and how they are interpreting the world than you.

Remembering this has made me more forgiving and more objective. We all have out redemption's and our failings. But most often in life we are hurt by our interpretations and lash out according to that.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to PrincessofFire)

Post #: 70

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 5:38:06 AM

lusciouslips19

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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

If Valyraen breaks the statue we bought on our honeymoon, he will make me cry and miss the statue.

Or you can say, "life's too short to be upset about material things. Im just glad the statue didn't hit you in the head and you're alright,honey".

PERCEPTION.......

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 71

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 5:41:59 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

If Valyraen breaks the statue we bought on our honeymoon, he will make me cry and miss the statue.

Or you can say, "life's too short to be upset about material things. Im just glad the statue didn't hit you in the head and you're alright,honey".

PERCEPTION.......

I knew I'd have to add a million clauses to that statement... Ahh CM... sometimes you drive me crazy...

Being happy that he is all right does not prevent me from missing the statue or act as some sort of bandage. When my teen wrecks my car, I'll be grateful to G-d that they are alive. I'll still be pissed about the repair bill.

Realizing that it's just a statue and doesn't matter in the long run doesn't mean I won't be sad that it's gone. If I didn't care about it, we wouldn't have bought it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 72

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 5:51:49 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

KoM,

i am guilty of making the statement..."your feelings are valid."

What would be a better way to phrase that? Assuming that the situation and the emotional response to that situation were in line?

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 73

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 6:27:33 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

If Valyraen breaks the statue we bought on our honeymoon, he will make me cry and miss the statue.

Or you can say, "life's too short to be upset about material things. Im just glad the statue didn't hit you in the head and you're alright,honey".

PERCEPTION.......

I knew I'd have to add a million clauses to that statement... Ahh CM... sometimes you drive me crazy...

Being happy that he is all right does not prevent me from missing the statue or act as some sort of bandage. When my teen wrecks my car, I'll be grateful to G-d that they are alive. I'll still be pissed about the repair bill.

Realizing that it's just a statue and doesn't matter in the long run doesn't mean I won't be sad that it's gone. If I didn't care about it, we wouldn't have bought it.

But sad is an emotion about the self. Anger is directed outward.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 74

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 6:48:44 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

But sad is an emotion about the self. Anger is directed outward.

So? The OP didn't ask about inward or outward - just emotions. Sadness would be the emotion he caused when he broke the statue.

For that matter, not all anger is directed outward - not with me anyway.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 75

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 6:57:55 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

KoM,

i am guilty of making the statement..."your feelings are valid."

What would be a better way to phrase that? Assuming that the situation and the emotional response to that situation were in line?

"I appreciate you have these feelings"... and you can even be specific on what feelings they are.... You acknowledge their existence.... but acknowledgement doesn't denote that they are specifically valid or justified.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 76

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 7:00:11 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

Thank you, Sir...

Happy Holidays to you and yours

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 77

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 7:05:02 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

I was reading this thread and it brought up some feelings for me...not because of the original topic but because of one of the replies about emotions...so I was wondering what ya'll thought about a couple of statements that I have problems with....

1) You make me feel [this way].
and
2) All emotions are valid.

I have strong feelings about these statements but I am trying to be openminded here, so I will wait a while before I post those feelings...

If someone shoots Val in the head, they have made me grieve and made me want to kill them.

If Valyraen breaks the statue we bought on our honeymoon, he will make me cry and miss the statue.

This idea that we can choose not to be sad or angry strikes me as incredibly inhuman and makes us like robots.

But the reality is that your own choices of valuation on Valyraen and that Statue is what is causing the emotional attachments that when something happens to them you will be affected. The root of it is based on your choices long before something happens to them.... just as there are tons of things you could careless about..... Like the used condom I threw away after our secret get together.... I was hurt by that too.... I felt you should of valued it and kept it as a time to remember our intimate experience together.... YOU MADE ME FEEL USED!!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 78

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 7:15:02 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
But the reality is that your own choices of valuation on Valyraen and that Statue is what is causing the emotional attachments that when something happens to them you will be affected. The root of it is based on your choices long before something happens to them....

This is almost the key as to why I think the "you choose to feel this way" thinking sounds like a robot. Yes I choose to place emotional priority on certain people or things and because of that, I am caused various emotions in various situations. However, the idea of not placing any attachments to any particular people, places or things, and therefore experiencing no emotions seems so utterly cold as to not be human.

Therefore I regard attachments as a fundamental part of humanity and don't regard it as "choosing" beyond that I choose to be human with emotional bonds to people and have some items of sentimental value.

quote:

just as there are tons of things you could careless about..... Like the used condom I threw away after our secret get together.... I was hurt by that too.... I felt you should of valued it and kept it as a time to remember our intimate experience together.... YOU MADE ME FEEL USED!!!!

Ssshh, don't tell Val but I secretly kept it. I just didn't want you know in case you thought I was a stalker freak. It's in my jewelry box, right next to my pearl necklace.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 79

RE: emotions - 12/18/2009 7:34:35 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Ssshh, don't tell Val but I secretly kept it. I just didn't want you know in case you thought I was a stalker freak. It's in my jewelry box, right next to my pearl necklace.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 80

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