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when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:18:51 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		the question is often asked when did you decide to be a dom/slave

as i always have a different take on things such as the early worm gets eaten, i turned the question around and it becomes, when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave

i'd like to hear other opinions

< Message edited by osf -- 12/23/2009 8:19:26 AM >
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RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:35:53 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Ah yes! I remember it well.
We met at nine.
I was on time.
We dined with friends.
A tenor sang.
Ah yes! I remember it well.


_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to osf)
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RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:39:02 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Ah yes! I remember it well.
We met at nine.
I was on time.
We dined with friends.
A tenor sang.
Ah yes! I remember it well.



i'm sorry i was late

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:42:11 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		There wasn't a decision involved. I just am. When I decided to allow myself to be in relationship based on what I am is a very different question and I honestly never made that decision. I was introduced to all this when I was 18 and things simply progressed naturally. I never made a big, life-changing decision. Life simply happened.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)
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RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:43:21 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Is it something we can influence..or start/stop?
I don't know. It is like the sun going up or down.....no influence..it just happens/happened.

(in reply to osf)
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RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:44:12 AM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline 		I don't think it's so much a decision as it is being honest with oneself.  Although you may chose at a certain point to stop living a "vanilla" lifestyle, if you aren't truly dominant/submissive deep down, a simple choice to live in the BDSM lifestyle (however that may be manifested) will not prove to be fruitful.

(in reply to osf)
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RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:49:39 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		It was never a decision for me, it is just the way I am when in a relationship. Like Aquatic above I started young and know no other way to be except to be myself.

(in reply to Dominasola)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:52:27 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
I am who I am...but who am I?

Each and every choice I make speaks to who I am.

I am not worried or concerned about labelizing who I am. If my choices and the actions that come from those choices identify me as being a Dominant or submissive in someone's eyes... so be it and I couldn't careless. I do know that who I am is defined with each choice I make. I am always me!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to osf)
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RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:52:44 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

I don't think it's so much a decision as it is being honest with oneself.  Although you may chose at a certain point to stop living a "vanilla" lifestyle, if you aren't truly dominant/submissive deep down, a simple choice to live in the BDSM lifestyle (however that may be manifested) will not prove to be fruitful.


implicit in the question is that you don't decide to become a dom/submissive, you already are, it's when did you awaken and do something about it

most seem to think it was then that they decided to become

< Message edited by osf -- 12/23/2009 8:54:56 AM >

(in reply to Dominasola)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:56:48 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

I don't think it's so much a decision as it is being honest with oneself.  Although you may chose at a certain point to stop living a "vanilla" lifestyle, if you aren't truly dominant/submissive deep down, a simple choice to live in the BDSM lifestyle (however that may be manifested) will not prove to be fruitful.


implicit in the question is that you don't decide to become a dom/submissive, you already are, it's when did you awaken and do something about it

most seem to think it was then that they decided to become


Again, no offense but I don't think your question came off that way or that the responses reflect this. Mine certainly didn't.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 8:58:45 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

I am who I am...but who am I?


you worry me...take your meds :P

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:02:20 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

[
implicit in the question is that you don't decide to become a dom/submissive, you already are, it's when did you awaken and do something about it

most seem to think it was then that they decided to become


I think for some it's more like... walking down a path... and when you stop and look around you find yourself with a view of great beauty. You didn't really consciously setout to find that place... but you found yourself there none the less. The place of this beauty already existed... you just had to get there.

For for others... they become aware that this place exists and they are aspiring to get there and seek to find the path that will get them there.

For myself... I was more of the former than the latter. I just took steps that felt right with each step.... When I look back... I see how each step affected my path in front of me and the steps I would take.


_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:03:07 AM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

implicit in the question is that you don't decide to become a dom/submissive, you already are, it's when did you awaken and do something about it

most seem to think it was then that they decided to become


I worded my answer in that way because I've not yet come to that crossroad.

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:05:22 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

I don't think it's so much a decision as it is being honest with oneself.  Although you may chose at a certain point to stop living a "vanilla" lifestyle, if you aren't truly dominant/submissive deep down, a simple choice to live in the BDSM lifestyle (however that may be manifested) will not prove to be fruitful.


implicit in the question is that you don't decide to become a dom/submissive, you already are, it's when did you awaken and do something about it

most seem to think it was then that they decided to become




Again, no offense but I don't think your question came off that way or that the responses reflect this. Mine certainly didn't.
quote:

when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave




when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave

stop not being is the heart of the question



< Message edited by osf -- 12/23/2009 9:07:25 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:07:18 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ahh. Athough I gotta ask... if they've stopped... why are they on the forums?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:08:03 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

stop not

start?

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:09:32 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I guess that makes sense, if they stopped and then have come back. But then is it really stopping or taking a break of sorts?

Ahh semantic games that I shouldn't be playing right now...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:10:28 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

stop not

start?


it's not that you started anything, you realized you were and did something about it

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:10:44 AM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave

stop not being is the heart of the question




This is implying that you weren't of a dominant/submissive nature and then actively chose to become so for whatever reason. I think that we are trying to say that it isn't a choice.  You may come to the realization that you are, indeed, a dominant/submissive personality, but you don't just wake up one day and decide, "Hey, I was vanilla yesterday.  Let's see what being submissive is like today.  And tomorrow, I'll try being dominant just for kicks!"

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: when did you decide - 12/23/2009 9:12:13 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when did you decide to stop not being a dom/slave

stop not being is the heart of the question




This is implying that you weren't of a dominant/submissive nature and then actively chose to become so for whatever reason. I think that we are trying to say that it isn't a choice.  You may come to the realization that you are, indeed, a dominant/submissive personality, but you don't just wake up one day and decide, "Hey, I was vanilla yesterday.  Let's see what being submissive is like today.  And tomorrow, I'll try being dominant just for kicks!"



when did you decide to stop, not being a dom/slave


does the coma help?

(in reply to Dominasola)
Profile   Post #: 20
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