Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 Page: <<   < prev  10 11 [12] 13 14   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 7:26:35 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I know, VC - no worries.   We've done 'can shorties be femdoms?' here a few times: the clear consensus has always been 'Yes, they can.'  LadyPact and Lockit are fine examples.


At 160 cm tall, I'm pretty sure I can rise up to the challenge as well!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 7:31:03 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I know, VC - no worries.   We've done 'can shorties be femdoms?' here a few times: the clear consensus has always been 'Yes, they can.'  LadyPact and Lockit are fine examples.



At 160 cm tall, I'm pretty sure I can rise up to the challenge as well!

- LA


That makes me half an inch taller than you!
Now if only it made me half an inch Domme-lier as well...

Life would be so easy if it worked like that


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 222
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 7:31:08 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23

I mean, if you were really feminine, you'd be apologizing right now.  Because that's what really feminine women do, they apologize for shit that isn't even remotely their fault.


I wasn't going to post on this thead since I pretty much don't have a lot to offer on the concept of 'forced' masculinity, however you've now inspired me.

I'm so glad you did!

quote:

I think you've confused femininity with weakness and masculinity with control. I don't believe "feminine" and "weak" necessarily have any points of correspondence. Many extremely feminine women come across as having quite strong personalities. Someone here used John Wayne as an example of a "masculine man". I will put forward Lauren Bacall (or at least a number of the characters she portrayed) as being a very "feminine woman" without being weak or someone who will "apologize for shit that isn't even remotely their fault".

Similarly, I don't believe that being "masculine" requires someone to be in charge. Some masculine men dominate and run things. Some do not.

Thank you for giving it a try. Obviously the young lad has issues comprehending some pretty fundemental concepts that everyone else seems to get.

quote:

The concept of a powerful, extremely masculine man being inspired and empowered by a woman he is obsessed with beyond all reason is fairly common (Caesar and Cleopatra & Lancelot and Guinivere come to mind readily). I can easily understand someone finding resonance in either side of this dynamic and looking to emulate it - the trick is probably finding someone worthy (but isn't that the trick for any relationship?).

You are spot on with this one!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to InvisibleBlack)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 8:18:54 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23
I mean, if you were really feminine, you'd be apologizing right now.  Because that's what really feminine women do, they apologize for shit that isn't even remotely their fault.


Psycho,
All i can say is "wow".  You've definitely announced your presence with authority.  Unfortunately, what you've announced is that you are a bit backwards in your thought processes.

i'll assume that you also subscribe to these antiquated sweeping generalizations:

-All Asians know karate (and many are secretly ninjas).
-All Black men have really long penises.
-All Native Americans can talk to forest animals and have names like "Runs Like Wind".
-All gay men talk with a lithp. 

(in reply to Psychonaut23)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 8:54:54 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23
I mean, if you were really feminine, you'd be apologizing right now.  Because that's what really feminine women do, they apologize for shit that isn't even remotely their fault.


Psycho,
All i can say is "wow".  You've definitely announced your presence with authority.  Unfortunately, what you've announced is that you are a bit backwards in your thought processes.

i'll assume that you also subscribe to these antiquated sweeping generalizations:

-All Asians know karate (and many are secretly ninjas).
-All Black men have really long penises.
-All Native Americans can talk to forest animals and have names like "Runs Like Wind".
-All gay men talk with a lithp. 



I know for a fact one of those isn't true but I'm not saying which one! ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 9:02:37 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
-All Asians know karate (and many are secretly ninjas).
-All Black men have really long penises.
-All Native Americans can talk to forest animals and have names like "Runs Like Wind".
-All gay men talk with a lithp. 


I know for a fact one of those isn't true but I'm not saying which one! ;-)


Lady Angelika,
You promised to keep that as our "little" secret.  Of course, when you nicknamed me "Tiny", that was a bit of a giveaway. 

BTW, does the fact that i am secretly a ninja make up for my other "shortcomings"?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 9:18:19 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline


Oh... pony boy in 501's... this is going to be too much fun!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 9:34:26 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I also don't believe for a second that 'masculinity' (whatever that means to anyone) can be 'enforced'.  You'll only ever get some silly, temporary parody of what you want that way, IMO.


I concur. I guess you missed the 2 or 3 posts where I talk about the fact that the word forced in the title was a joke, and the 2 or 4 posts where people said that they got that.


No, I didn't miss them - I just stated what I felt without referring to them one way or another.

quote:

But something that some people may want to call 'masculine' gets inspired in me by certain women. It's to do with qualities of gentleness, kindness, empathy . . . traits I feel to be admirable (partly because some women have shown me that they have more of these qualities than I do) but which also, to my mind, make her vulnerable. I see those - and the white knight bit of me blinks and wakes up.


quote:


I talked about inspiring, coaching, etc. Ooooh... and knights ;-)

- LA


Yes, indeed you did, Lady A.  So did I!  ;-)

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 1/17/2010 9:35:33 AM >


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 9:34:50 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
It absolutely amazes Me, and actually sparks a bit of contempt, some of the words that have been written on this thread.  The author of which has already admitted his ignorance.  In all honesty, that was pretty apparent before his saying so.  I think it is highly irresponsible to start making claims on *any* subject without personal experience or knowledge.  The truth is that it was just an opportunity for someone to spout off what they think, rather than what they know from the human existence.

The bull stereotype that submissive men are 'weak' is nothing but a load of nonsense and the very same applies to those who serve in the military.  Sure, it's easy to slam these folks from the comfort of your own home.  Good thing some folks have other people willing to put their ass on the line so that the freedom to do so exists.  My sub just finished his fourth tour overseas so that some yahoo could freely express his hatred towards people who take up serving this country on a message board.

Two days ago, My family buried a man who earned three bronze stars during his war time service.  Faced situations that the writer of those words will never have to face because people of a much higher character and calling than himself were willing to do so.  I'm not impressed by someone who talks big behind a screen, trying to be more 'masculine' than those who have stepped up in real life.  It only shows a pathetic attempt to try to convince others of how his delusion that he is somehow more of a 'man' than those he came on this thread to bash.

I'm here to tell you, from personal experience and not some kind of conjecture, My husband, My sub, My father, and soon My son serving in the military, are all bigger men than I believe the writer of those words will ever be.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 9:41:41 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


I'm here to tell you, from personal experience and not some kind of conjecture, My husband, My sub, My father, and soon My son serving in the military, are all bigger men than I believe the writer of those words will ever be.



LadyPact - I'm so glad that you came on to talk about this. I knew would say exactly the right things but I fear that the ignorant boy in question is nowhere ready to grow up.

Also, my sincere condolences for your family friend.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 9:47:41 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I know, VC - no worries.   We've done 'can shorties be femdoms?' here a few times: the clear consensus has always been 'Yes, they can.'  LadyPact and Lockit are fine examples.


At 160 cm tall, I'm pretty sure I can rise up to the challenge as well!

- LA


It was nice of you to convert feet and inches into centimetres, Lady A - but, despite what many seem to believe in North America, we tend to think in feet and inches ourselves over here in the UK. 

I'd be willing to bet that there's no real 'height demand' from malesubs and of femdoms - even before dinky little Michelle Pfeiffer played Catwoman.  Heels do the trick if it's important.   

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 9:49:30 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

It was nice of you to convert feet and inches into centimetres, Lady A - but, despite what many seem to believe in North America, we tend to think in feet and inches ourselves over here in the UK.


Oh! You assumed I did that for you! No no no... Je suis Canadienne, remember?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 10:16:22 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
Oh!  I thought that everything was pretty much the same in Canada as it is in the US, except that you only get ten minutes of summer up there and banjo-playing isn't a compulsory subject in schools. 

Well, you live and you learn . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 10:28:20 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
If he says you made a logical error in a post, you made it.  Take that to the bank.  The only way out is to change your position.


I'm going to print this out and mail it to all my ex's.

Heh.  This has zippo to do with the thread topic, but Marc and I almost never comment on each other's posts, and I can't resist the opportunity for a mini-conversation.

That was a diplomatic way to acknowledge-yet-decline the compliment, but of course posting on a message board and having IRL human interaction with a loved one aren't the same thing.  Being logically perfect in a domestic situation can be a hindrance, not a help.  Sometimes it's better to "be" wrong and give a crap, even if you're sure you're not really wrong.  That's why I haven't tried to cultivate similarities to your posting style, even though I see it as stronger than mine in some respects.  I think in the longer view, dealing with people metaphorically and agitationally, even if less "correct," isn't worse.

When everything is cut away, though, I suspect that, despite all our differences, you are single (if you are, don't know, but it feels that way) for pretty much the same reason I am: you're not willing not to be.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 10:46:45 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Websters Unabridged Dictionary:
1. Pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men
2. Having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, as strength and boldness


Oxford English Reference Dictionary:
1. Of or characteristic of men
2. Manly, vigerous

Synonyms: manly, male-oriented, testosteronic, mannish, boyish, muscular, strong, rugged, robust


Boy, those Webster's & Oxford definitions are really illuminating.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 1/17/2010 10:47:58 AM >

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 12:13:35 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

What's a Man?
by Ms. Margaret Davis

A real man gets in your heart, not in your face.
A real man takes time to listen. He values communication and respects the needs of others.
A real man sets priorities.

[etc.]



Now this is interesting. I recognise almost every item on that list as part of a standard that I try to live up to, however imperfectly. So perhaps I'm a real man, or at least trying to be one. The thing is... it seems to me that the list would be a good one for "real women", too, and indeed for people of any gender and orientation. After all, my Mistress is pretty good at setting priorities herself, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Perhaps it's better to think of it as a list of worthwhile human traits, rather than manly qualities?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 12:24:36 PM   
DommeMae


Posts: 37
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009



Lady Angelika,
You promised to keep that as our "little" secret.  Of course, when you nicknamed me "Tiny", that was a bit of a giveaway. 




Well, now that we got this out of the way...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

BTW, does the fact that i am secretly a ninja make up for my other "shortcomings"?


Fear not, tiny but deadly ninja, we women always find ways to put men to use ... even those ... less endowed Tiny Tim men, like you.



(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 12:37:59 PM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline
Dunno if it wastes space to totter in late to a thread, without much to add, but I want to get my "name" in this one, kind of like signing a petition. I too, find gentlemen appealing---kinky, vanilla, Dom, or sub. The idea of forcing anyone into femininity is unappealing to me. It's pretty clear that no one is really "forced" anywhere. I will aid, occasionally, a male who wishes to explore his feminine side. But it's not a "turn-on", it's akin to the annual post I used to make for a group of college students on "how to cook a turkey" for those doing a first Thanksgiving away from home. Simply compassionate.

I think I befriended Psychonaut when he first arrived here, so now I am considering that as an unwise, embarassing choice, as his veteran comments were ... beyond the pale. One would hope for a genuine apology, but I don't think we'll see it. One of those situations where an apology really would not be "enough", don't know how he'll ever get out of that one, it was Too Much (tm)

Factoid on the alpha male re dogs. As a greyhound adoption activist, would like to point out that in the world of greyhounds, the breed lives in packs. The pack leader or alpha is Always a female.

Thanks to all who contributed to this thread, and to Lady Angelika for starting it--one of the most interesting, enjoyable.. that I've seen for ages. tytytyty~

(in reply to Wheldrake)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 1:13:53 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Being logically perfect in a domestic situation can be a hindrance, not a help.


I sniff in disdain and give you the Vulcan gesture of long life and prosperity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
When everything is cut away, though, I suspect that, despite all our differences, you are single (if you are, don't know, but it feels that way) for pretty much the same reason I am: you're not willing not to be.


I generally do feel this way in life when on my own, and you are correct in that I do treasure my solitude. Currently, I am enjoying a very deep connection. That is the only way I'd have it. Otherwise, it's just flesh to consume, to savage and pick at like Dante's Cerberus.

Regarding your posts, I have always admired your insightful, inclusive and personable style, Magic. And lest there be any further doubt, I do thank you for the compliments, though I must admit, "he's been haunting these halls for a long time" made me feel like an evil character from Harry Potter.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 - 1/17/2010 1:26:15 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove

Dunno if it wastes space to totter in late to a thread, without much to add, but I want to get my "name" in this one, kind of like signing a petition. I too, find gentlemen appealing---kinky, vanilla, Dom, or sub. The idea of forcing anyone into femininity is unappealing to me. It's pretty clear that no one is really "forced" anywhere. I will aid, occasionally, a male who wishes to explore his feminine side. But it's not a "turn-on", it's akin to the annual post I used to make for a group of college students on "how to cook a turkey" for those doing a first Thanksgiving away from home. Simply compassionate.

I think I befriended Psychonaut when he first arrived here, so now I am considering that as an unwise, embarassing choice, as his veteran comments were ... beyond the pale. One would hope for a genuine apology, but I don't think we'll see it. One of those situations where an apology really would not be "enough", don't know how he'll ever get out of that one, it was Too Much (tm)

Factoid on the alpha male re dogs. As a greyhound adoption activist, would like to point out that in the world of greyhounds, the breed lives in packs. The pack leader or alpha is Always a female.

Thanks to all who contributed to this thread, and to Lady Angelika for starting it--one of the most interesting, enjoyable.. that I've seen for ages. tytytyty~


I can't help but think some of this debate/discussion about how a man CAN be "submissive" and at the same time be "a man"  -- or, assertive, aggressive, self confident, ambitious -- isn't also rooted from the problem of the * perception of male submission based on male fantasy and porn*.  Specifically, it's the men who idealize/eroticize "submission" as anti-masculine, or glorify the "pathetic worm," or worse, emphasize the ideal that being submissive means freedom from the responsibility of choice, freedom from risk (especially emotional risk), freedom from INITIATIVE.

Meanwhile, when you look at women who have (independent of all influence of male porn) developed a taste for female domination, and our ideals about what a "man" is (a man we desire to dominate, as well as the "man he becomes" when he is under our influence) are very different from the meek, the unassertive, the groveling type who seeks total and complete control from an uber-bitch.   I think, while our tastes very, we all pretty much seek the same qualities we do in a vanilla partner, but often with a heightened emphasis on chivalry, self confidence, and self sufficiency.

I've struggled hard to come up with good words to define my ideals.  In mean, I seek "capability" as a core component.  What I seek to get from him, as a result of my dominance, is "authentic vulnerability" - and this does not mean he's weak, pathetic or useless.  Moreso, it's BETTER when achieved from a man who is, at the same time, incredibly strong of character, unwavering, and devoted in that he offers THIS submission to one person : ME.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to MsMillgrove)
Profile   Post #: 240
Page:   <<   < prev  10 11 [12] 13 14   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Forced Masculinity, Take 2 Page: <<   < prev  10 11 [12] 13 14   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109