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It's a stereotype that submissive men aren't masculine. Submissive men are confident, intelligent, dominant men with a desire for feminine charm and a need female leadership and authority.

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Factoid on the alpha male re dogs. As a greyhound adoption activist, would like to point out that in the world of greyhounds, the breed lives in packs. The pack leader or alpha is Always a female.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
I can't help but think some of this debate/discussion about how a man CAN be "submissive" and at the same time be "a man"  -- or, assertive, aggressive, self confident, ambitious -- isn't also rooted from the problem of the * perception of male submission based on male fantasy and porn*.  Specifically, it's the men who idealize/eroticize "submission" as anti-masculine, or glorify the "pathetic worm," or worse, emphasize the ideal that being submissive means freedom from the responsibility of choice, freedom from risk (especially emotional risk), freedom from INITIATIVE.

Meanwhile, when you look at women who have (independent of all influence of male porn) developed a taste for female domination, and our ideals about what a "man" is (a man we desire to dominate, as well as the "man he becomes" when he is under our influence) are very different from the meek, the unassertive, the groveling type who seeks total and complete control from an uber-bitch.   I think, while our tastes very, we all pretty much seek the same qualities we do in a vanilla partner, but often with a heightened emphasis on chivalry, self confidence, and self sufficiency.

I've struggled hard to come up with good words to define my ideals.  In mean, I seek "capability" as a core component.  What I seek to get from him, as a result of my dominance, is "authentic vulnerability" - and this does not mean he's weak, pathetic or useless.  Moreso, it's BETTER when achieved from a man who is, at the same time, incredibly strong of character, unwavering, and devoted in that he offers THIS submission to one person : ME.

Akasha

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I've struggled hard to come up with good words to define my ideals. In mean, I seek "capability" as a core component. What I seek to get from him, as a result of my dominance, is "authentic vulnerability"

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ORIGINAL: stiv2009

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I've struggled hard to come up with good words to define my ideals. In mean, I seek "capability" as a core component. What I seek to get from him, as a result of my dominance, is "authentic vulnerability"

Great formulation - "authentic vulnerability" - but is it something that just is, (like say, oil in the ground, which merely is, or is not there) - or is it something that can be nurtured/cultivated/expanded/reduced?

Steve

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

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ORIGINAL: stiv2009

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I've struggled hard to come up with good words to define my ideals. In mean, I seek "capability" as a core component. What I seek to get from him, as a result of my dominance, is "authentic vulnerability"

Great formulation - "authentic vulnerability" - but is it something that just is, (like say, oil in the ground, which merely is, or is not there) - or is it something that can be nurtured/cultivated/expanded/reduced?

Steve

I would venture to guess it has to be there. But like oil, it can be there under the surface, be discovered and eventually tapped into.

- LA

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

It takes a great deal of humility for a man to go there, and a great deal of strength and pride all mixed into one.  I would also say *bravery* plays a role, but I don't want to discount it all by sounding melodramatic. 

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Of course, no examples come to mind from mainstream, but I know it when I see it.  Anytime a "leading man" who plays a role of strength in a romantic movie but he's dropped all his defenses, become ultimately emotionally vulnerable and leaves himself open to danger that way, in a sense.  I think it's a more common theme than probably believed - and what makes it powerful is that his devotion puts him there (despite his ego defenses telling him no) and it is totally unselfish.

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ORIGINAL: DommeMae

Fear not, tiny but deadly ninja, we women always find ways to put men to use ... even those ... less endowed Tiny Tim men, like you.

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Winking is unfeminine, Lady A.

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ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

My last post was directed, mostly, to people like Psychonaut23. One thing I have noticed with some dominant males is that they do look down on submissive males. Some of them, Psychonaut is a good example of this, are so narrow minded and mentally helpless that I felt being concise and extremely serious would be the only way to help him understand my mentality and the mentality of other submissives (both female and male). 

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ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

My last post was directed, mostly, to people like Psychonaut23. One thing I have noticed with some dominant males is that they do look down on submissive males. Some of them, Psychonaut is a good example of this, are so narrow minded and mentally helpless that I felt being concise and extremely serious would be the only way to help him understand my mentality and the mentality of other submissives (both female and male).