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RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? - 2/7/2010 4:44:05 PM

osf

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domi seems to think i'm talking to him

domi there are a few that agree with my basic premises and if you're not one then i can live with that , truly i can

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RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? - 2/7/2010 7:42:45 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

domi you have such superior intellect that i could say it's daylight at high noon and you'd know different

well what works for you may not for all, now don't that just suck

Based upon your ill conceived posts of the past you are entirely correct. If you said it was sunny outside I would have to go check.

Why don't you take your own fucking worthless advice? Since I am the author it clearly states my own ideals.

From now on when you post is it okay to attach this to the end of all of your ridiclous thoughts?.....

"well what works for you may not for all, now don't that just suck."

With every post it becomes more clear what an idiot you truly are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

domi seems to think i'm talking to him

domi there are a few that agree with my basic premises and if you're not one then i can live with that , truly i can

It is odd, that I would think you were referring to me when you start a post out with "domi."

I know...Odd, right? So odd. I can't begin to tell you how many conversations I have walked away from that have begun with the conversationalist starting with my name...How was I to know they were directing the conversation at me?

You are a strange dude.

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RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? - 2/8/2010 3:10:55 AM

ranja

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whether you believe in romantic love and why or why not

Yes romantic love is nice, but i have only experienced it shortly... it does not hold my interest, it is a bit too soft and theatrical for me

how important romantic love is to you in a long term D/s relationship compared with other emotions and feelings

Not important at all... i need security, commitment and respect rather than romance or love

what you value in a "successful" D/s relationship and where love figures into that

my Husband is my rock... it is an added bonus that we love eachother
we generally forget our wedding day and we don't ever do anything mushy for Valentinesday... when i dwell on it i might get a bit grumpy about that, but i have to admit i am just as unromantic as He is... we do on occasion light candles though and i did write Him a poem yesterday... to thank Him for some press-up handles He bought me as a spontaneous gift...

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RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? - 2/10/2010 5:56:09 PM

PainfullyCurious

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So I think I see the dilemma here...
If we are saying that romantic love is that "I can't get enough of you feeling" then by definition, where there is romantic love there can not be full satisfaction/contentment.

A few people have mentioned that they don't think that feeling (romantic love) can be sustained forever. Certainly, if you shake things up often enough that you never feel secure, you can get a rush each time... Save for doing that, I could see contentment as something that romantic love leads up to- the I'm-not-worried-about-not-getting-enough-bc-you-are-right-here-and-I-want-you-here- feeling. I wouldn't think of contentment or satisfaction in that sense as lacking anything...

Though, there is also a different kind of contentment. When you get along fabulously with someone because you are not overly-worried about what they think of you, the bills are paid, the house is in order, you enjoyed dinner together and there is nothing to complain about. Yes, it's secure... and could be called contentment... Although, personally I see it as a little bit sad....

When we go back to dealing with the insatiable quality of romantic love, then I suppose desiring it is like many other things in life... goal setting, physical tolerance, etc. Do you prefer to stay in your comfort zone where you know you will always be safe or successful? Or do you prefer to push beyond your limits?

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RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? - 2/10/2010 6:17:50 PM

LadyOddsworth

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Love or the potential of love developing... a must.

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RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? - 2/11/2010 12:38:06 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I'm curious about
whether you believe in romantic love and why or why not

how important romantic love is to you in a long term D/s relationship compared with other emotions and feelings

what you value in a "successful" D/s relationship and where love figures into that

P.S. If you think this is a stupid or boring topic, I invite you to protest by not posting to the thread rather than by calling me a stupid vapid bitch or telling me that this topic has been addressed before and I should use the "search" function.

I certainly believe in "love" - I'm not sure I understand the distinction of "romantic love" though - unless it's to distinguish the sticky sexy love between to people vs the love one might have for friends, football etc.

I think that for an ltr, love is essential - but (speaking only for me) love is a mix of all those "other emotions and feelings" that you mention.

A succesful D/s relationship (speaking only for me) has to have love in it, sure.

I would say that you've already nailed it in your OP -

Then you say -

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
I feel like the more important statement I make every day is "I'm yours," in reference to his authority over me, my complete trust of him, and my utter devotion to him.

Wow! That's love!!!

Then you nail it -

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
Our society prizes romantic love. Maybe I'm a cynic, but all the Valentine's Day stuff and other valorizations of romantic love just put me in a foul mood. I've had the relationship based on romantic love and more often than not, it sucked. The love I feel for my owner is quite different from the romantic love Hallmark cards address. Hallmark cards are all about love that makes people giddy. With my owner, love feels stable and comforting, and it's his power over me and my sexuality that gives me the giddy, butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling.

The "hallmark/disney" definition of love is bogus, and I don't think you should worry for a second about being cynical about it. Or at least I'm as cynical as you - the disney love that we see in the cards and movies is vapid, baseless.

Being told by someone that they have complete trust in me, and are utterly devoted to me would be a million times more meaningful to me.

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RE: how valuable is "romantic love" to you? - 2/11/2010 1:33:48 AM

ranja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

Though, there is also a different kind of contentment. When you get along fabulously with someone because you are not overly-worried about what they think of you, the bills are paid, the house is in order, you enjoyed dinner together and there is nothing to complain about. Yes, it's secure... and could be called contentment... Although, personally I see it as a little bit sad....

Yes you hit the nail... and that is where kink comes in.... or adultery...
we all want a bit of passion at times until we get so old that we are past that...
do we ever?

anyway what you might consider 'a little bit sad' is actually the most aspired to thing by longterm serial monogamists... the single thirty something who's had relationship after relationship that all frizzle out; most of them aspire to have that boring 'little sad' state of contentment sitting on the settee watching some talkshow enjoying a cup of tea together.

And the people who do have it and are feeling a bit sad and disgruntled about the lack of passion (i am one of them occasionally) should remember to count their blessings.

i do think contentment beats passion... mostly...
but passion is sooooo tempting....

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