quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBeautiful2U

*smile* Thanks to everyone for reinforcing what I was already thinking.

If this was someone who just said he wanted to play, I might feel differently.  He says he wants to be Mine.  Of course, he says the right things.

When I said I tend to text more than speak by phone, I meant that in general, not with him.  Clearly I don't have his phone number.  I did tell him that if he wanted to continue this, I would expect him to at a minimum go out and buy a prepaid phone so I have some means of contacting him.

But really, deep down, I know if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.  And when flags come up like this, one ought to heed them.

For those who commented about "demands" of one who is not yours, my question was more along the lines of when should certain things happen?  What would be a red flag?

I think that if you want to be Mine, you probably should be willing to trust me enough to call... unless there is someone else at home.  I may have broken one of my safety rules (and shame on me for that oversight) but I am not going to bring someone into my home who cannot trust me enough to share his phone number.  Realistically,I am not frightened of him... just think he probably has someone else at home.  If I cannot be trusted enough with a number, then how can he trust me to tie him up and do whatever I want?

I think a compromise though, just in case he is real, might be to continue having vanilla dates in public, but no private play time until he can trust me more. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
My red flag is what I made bold and underlined... more than the lack of phone number... I might be wrong but you described a very brief meeting.. yes?  Once.. right?  and he knows he wants to be yours?  Sounds to me like whoever walked into his field of vision that night would work.  Sorry..

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
My red flag is what I made bold and underlined... more than the lack of phone number... I might be wrong but you described a very brief meeting.. yes?  Once.. right?  and he knows he wants to be yours?  Sounds to me like whoever walked into his field of vision that night would work.  Sorry..

This crossed my mind too, but I figured I'd just deal with the phone number.  I agree completely with this post.

-- Madame4a's "me too" Bitch

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Then again, He could chop her up into little yummy treaties and tossing her onto the BBQ. Slathered Up Hickory flavored Domme anybody?

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ORIGINAL: MissBeautiful2U
I told him to go buy a prepaid so we can talk if he isn't willing to give me his actual number.

I offered him a compromise, since he says he wants a long term relationship and is just scared, I suggested that we continue meeting at public places and do things together.  That way he can get to know me better in person and decide.  Kinky play will wait until he can trust me enough to at least share a phone number.

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ORIGINAL: Madame4a

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
My red flag is what I made bold and underlined... more than the lack of phone number... I might be wrong but you described a very brief meeting.. yes?  Once.. right?  and he knows he wants to be yours?  Sounds to me like whoever walked into his field of vision that night would work.  Sorry..

This crossed my mind too, but I figured I'd just deal with the phone number.  I agree completely with this post.

-- Madame4a's "me too" Bitch

Ok.. so I went back to make sure I had that right... from what I can tell, beyond chatting and online contact, they spent one hour together.  If someone said they wanted to be mine at that point, I'd be changing that number I gave them and blocking their emails.  But hey, that's me.. I'm a dyke.. I have too many crazy exes... ex's ?

now... c'mere Bitch ... *smirk*

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
My red flag is what I made bold and underlined... more than the lack of phone number... I might be wrong but you described a very brief meeting.. yes?  Once.. right?  and he knows he wants to be yours?  Sounds to me like whoever walked into his field of vision that night would work.  Sorry..

This crossed my mind too, but I figured I'd just deal with the phone number.  I agree completely with this post.

-- Madame4a's "me too" Bitch

Ok.. so I went back to make sure I had that right... from what I can tell, beyond chatting and online contact, they spent one hour together.  If someone said they wanted to be mine at that point, I'd be changing that number I gave them and blocking their emails.  But hey, that's me.. I'm a dyke.. I have too many crazy exes... ex's ?

now... c'mere Bitch ... *smirk*

Exactly what I hinted at earlier.  Why on earth would anybody be controlling someone's orgasms after a first meet?  Can't settle enough to want the other to have phone contact information, but owning his cock is all good?  If it's a safety concern on either side, maybe the sexual should come off of the table until they have spent more face to face time than an hour.

My intuition does tell Me that the dude is involved with someone else.  Maybe not a wife, but perhaps a girlfriend. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Okay, here's the passive-aggressive way to work this:

Set a playdate with him.  Don't show up.  Give an excuse and tell him that you wanted to call him but weren't able to.  If only you had his number...

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The excuses did sound lame. However the truth could have been worse. What if he had said that the last woman he gave his number to turned out to be absolutely nuts and stalked him and he wasn't giving it to the op till he felt a lot more comfortable? I bet she would have been insulted by that.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
This topic always evokes such strong responses... when to give out what information to whom... I wonder why that is.

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Why on earth would anybody be controlling someone's orgasms after a first meet?

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The reason it evokes such strong responses is that we as human beings often make choices because we think they are the right choice and sometimes lose sight of the fact that they might not be the right choice for everyone. The "kick him to the curb because that is what I would do" syndrome. Offering credence to someone else's different choice dilutes the "rightness" of the choice for you, in some folks' minds. At least that's my opinion on it.

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ORIGINAL: MissBeautiful2U

quote:

Why on earth would anybody be controlling someone's orgasms after a first meet?

LOL To answer that question: Why on earth would someone play with someone they just met?  People do things all the time.  I started the control BEFORE meeting him.  I didn't say oh wow, meet once, now I will control.  There was some control going on before we ever sat down face to face.  This is an area that I personally have a high degree of interest in... and someone who is right for me will too.  I'm sorry but I really am feeling a bit judged here.