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RE: Service submissive question. - 2/22/2010 4:18:04 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

He was referring to Lucky Albatross, the ex-resident thread puller and all around answer girl.

Edited forr typo

Oh I remember Lucky Albatross... she showed up right before I left on hiatus. Thanks.

- LA

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RE: Service submissive question. - 2/22/2010 7:50:37 PM

Smutmonger

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The best Dominants are the ones who have moved beyond validation need.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 2/22/2010 9:29:07 PM

StrangerThan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: specialk2611

Is it assumed that a service-submissive requires nothing tangible in return for their service and that their joy is just to enhance the life of their Dominant?

EG, If they asked for a service contract with rewards and punishments written in, does that mean they become something else?

I know these label questions get old, but it's the only way to get clarification.

Thanks.

What you're trying to do is fit within someone else's definition of what service means. So riddle me this batman, you've embraced an alternative lifestyle just to run around trying to find definitions? How about the one that makes sense to you and floats your boat, not that which floats another persons?

A service submissive provides whatever service his or her Dominant requires. If you assume anything different, then you are by default providing limits on your service.

One thing I do know is that every dominant is different. There is no one standard service template to follow. Assume that and you will not only be disappointed, but will be a disappointment.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 2/22/2010 10:05:39 PM

specialk2611

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The question was raised because of a practicality of stating in my profile that I'm a service submissive. I have to be aware of other people's perceptions of what this means, as I was not sure if the general impression was that this was only perceived as 'no strings service'.

It was not just bullshit mindless philosophy.

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Post #: 64

RE: Service submissive question. - 2/22/2010 10:12:37 PM

Smutmonger

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Perhaps it would be best if you elaborated your motivations for posting this in your profile. Very few seem to have the stones to actually post something they intend to follow through on,unless it's "I want more orgasms."

quote:

ORIGINAL: specialk2611

The question was raised because of a practicality of stating in my profile that I'm a service submissive. I have to be aware of other people's perceptions of what this means, as I was not sure if the general impression was that this was only perceived as 'no strings service'.

It was not just bullshit mindless philosophy.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 2/22/2010 10:15:17 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: specialk2611

The question was raised because of a practicality of stating in my profile that I'm a service submissive. I have to be aware of other people's perceptions of what this means, as I was not sure if the general impression was that this was only perceived as 'no strings service'.

It was not just bullshit mindless philosophy.

On your profile it helps to list examples of the type of services. Does not have to be a comprehensive list. Just enough to give somebody a general sense.

Edited to Add: I just checked out your profile, i think you express a hell of a lot. the information you presented tends to speak for itself in this regard.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/22/2010 10:20:03 PM >

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RE: Service submissive question. - 2/23/2010 3:10:56 AM

Hawkwindblues

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And i for one still miss LuckyAlbatross and her great posts.

Maybe some day she will decide to come back.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 2/23/2010 3:34:51 AM

heartfeltsub

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me too. i miss a lot of the posters or rather the caliber of posts that used to be made here by posters who are still around, but don't post a lot any more.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 3/6/2010 7:20:04 PM

Hawkwindblues

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Yes and no heartfeltsub.

Yes, i miss to the caliber and the height of amusement we once had here.

No, i love the ever changing tide of message boards and communities to much to really dwell.

But there are some people who have such a special flair that they stay in my mind and heart, she is one of them. Because her ability to change and to assess her developements were outstanding, as was the clear, concise way in which she wrote about it. Furthermore she was courageous, sharp and witty.

And before simplymichael/crappy dom comes out of the woodwork again and tell me about timelines, i renember his first texts here very good and i believed then and i believe still in not insulting other posters as far as it is possible.

Personally i have to admit goreans are a hard limit for me.

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Post #: 69

RE: Service submissive question. - 3/7/2010 10:36:46 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: specialk2611

Is it assumed that a service-submissive requires nothing tangible in return for their service and that their joy is just to enhance the life of their Dominant?

What would you do in the event you enhanced the life of someone who didn't care about you (as conveyed through his actions)?

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RE: Service submissive question. - 3/10/2010 8:44:10 AM

Andalusite

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specialk, I hope things are going well for you, and to enlarge a bit on what NorthernGent asked, I think you should consider a few things (no pressure to answer, but *you* should know the answers yourself as much as possible).

You mention you don't want to be a SO, but rather serve either platonically, or "with benefits." Are you only pursuing women who are poly and have a SO already? If feelings develop, do you have specific reasons for not going there, such as feeling that love and D/s need to be kept separate, or a prexisting SO of your own? How will you feel if she gets a submissive also becomes her SO - will you feel crowded out and jealous, or happy to share the load? What if she becomes part of a Dom/Domme couple - can you do service-oriented tasks for both, even if you aren't sexually involved with him?

Back when I was looking, only one person came to me wanting to be a service submissive with what I felt was a positive and workable attitude. He did want to play as well, but not on a "this task gets kinky time" basis, and his focus was on making a particular woman's life easier, rather than making me feel objectified, if that makes sense. He was working and going to school, so he didn't feel he had sufficient time to devote to a complete relationship. I most likely wouldn't have become involved with him, even if I hadn't met my Master, since I really did want to combine D/s, S/M, and love/sex/all that mushy stuff.

However, he *did* tempt me, and if I'd been in the mood for something casual, I think he could have been ideal.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 3/17/2010 12:10:35 AM

BeMyProperty

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I think the definition should be like what Andalusite described above. Where the submissive is doing the task just to be useful and pleasing, not to get something back.

However, very few subs seem to be wired to be "purely" service-oriented. This has been discussed many times. So, I think Dominants know to take it with a grain of salt when a sub uses the phrase.

I mean, we'd expect the sub to still want certain things in return. But a service oriented guy would probably need less, maybe a lot less. I don't know how popular this view is though!

To me, "no strings" isn't necessarily the same thing as "service oriented". And either way, the sub would still generally want to at least see the smile on her face, receive verbal thanks, etc.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 3/17/2010 7:36:05 AM

RavenMuse

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Mostly I don't bother with service only subs but there have been occasions. The main comment I got from them and the reason they wanted to serve Me again? I didn't just take them for granted, I checked the work... not just looking for things they did wrong but noticing where things where done to sufficient standard BUT could be improved on. Noticing little details acknowledging where they had done well, gone beyond what was sufficient.... I don't live in a manner that would give a service only enough to do, else I'm sure one or more of them would still be serving Me. Even if their service is 'invisible', THEY are not, it isn't much trouble to Me to reward them in they way a good service only sub responds to best (Generic from My experience)... just don't take them for granted.

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RE: Service submissive question. - 3/17/2010 11:13:03 PM

Andalusite

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Bemyproperty, I absolutely think that in any relationship, both people should get what they need, and at least some of what they want. What I tend to object to is the "vending machine" approach - do x, get y. That just doesn't feel submissive to me, on *either* side.

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Post #: 74