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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Doormats (2/25/2010 9:18:37 AM)
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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
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owever, I would engage in using "Micro Management" in this case for a period of time for training, or otherwise to make an effort to affect the required behavior modification as required. Mind you I would be using information such as that contained in the links shared above, as a guideline along with incorperating whatever personal Prime Directives (Sorry for Star Trek Joke) lol... rules that i wanted to frame at this time. i.e. Motivational stuff. This way they would have a clear understanding of the positive/negative consequences for thier own actions. Gotta have accountability along with responsibility. (at least this is my thing).
I enjoyed this post, it also raised a question in my mind... We see many threads by submissive/slaves that seem to be distraught because their master doesn't master them the same way anymore, and I think you may have touched on why some s-types go through that...
You go on to say...
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After awhile, things should be able to work on auto-pilot without a lot of effort.
I wonder if when you incorporated these tools for training that there came to be a Pavlovian response that made the end of training difficult, some submissives (I would include myself in this camp) love the "training" stage and feel withdrawal when it is over. I realized cognitively that it wouldn't last forever, and that much of the time our relationship as far as the authority portion seems on auto pilot, the reason being I do what he expects, so we just enjoy each other... but your post brought to mind how submissives can take the end of training to be the end of being dominated, especially those who equate training with domination.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts... I'm sitting here sort of mulling over things now. reflecting upon the past... and some warm memories. Moments in the past that I've not thought about very much. Sentimental stuff. kind of warm and fuzzy, like a little tingling sensation. Bonding moments in time. I never thought about things in the context you just laid out. I think you're right in some regards about what some s-types go through with why master doesn't master them the same way anymore. I myself am trying to compare it to my own experiences where I was the student or the one being taught something... then coming a time when.. I had reached that point. Funny how the mind can translate and associate things.
I'm sitting here thinking about the moments going over things with somebody, teaching and guiding and etc.. then reaching how far to go with it. Then to perhaps find something else new... but most of all, I'm reflecting upon see a look upon somebody's face and tone of voice the sadness.. strange.. to be able to indentify with it on both ends now in this moment.
I think you hit a nail julia, and the Pavlovian like conditioning applies to both sides of the coin.. a certain degree of remorse near the end, then finding other ways to fill the time. Moving onto some new activity or thing to do or explore. But I'm sitting here thinking.. about how the frequency tends to become less and less over time. Some people will be able to relate, at least those that have been in a relationship like this for any length of time. The frequency of this tends to lesson, the time starts to become filled with more ordinary.. what's the word I'm looking for. Not Vanilla per se.. just the time is filled with more routine less special things. Hope this makes sense.
Provoking thoughts, memory and touching upon things like this. Thank you julia.
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