quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

I certainly haven't had the same experience you have, but I do understand the fear factor. I realized at some point, years ago, that I was, as Uniqueraven puts it, slave-wired. As far back as I can remember that's where my head was, even when I didn't even understand what any of it meant! I was Fantasizing about calling someone Master when I was just a kid and was utterly baffled by it. I also, at some point, realized my definite "doormat" propensity. So eventually I realized that my abundance for giving, enduring, dependance, and flat out worship of someone was....... beyond the norm ;) I knew I could absolutely do whatever someone wanted. I knew I was utterly capable of turning over every single solitary factor of my being to someone else. Talk about scary! I recognized this meant I had to be verrrryyyy careful about who I got involved with. I had to make certain it wasn't someone who would suck all that up and toss me aside. Hmmm okay actually I realized alot of this because I did go there with someone and they did toss me aside and it took me months to even sort of pull myself together.

I mustered up the ability to be protective of myself. I recognized that because I am so easily pushed into things that I had to be careful of everything I did because it would be really easy in just talking to someone to get sucked in! I was careful. I didn't even put anything in my profile. I was elusive about what I was looking for, where I knew I could go.... I didn't say alot, but I asked alot of questions and constantly reminded myself to stay in check... and it wasn't easy for me to do. I still got pushed into a couple of things! At any rate, I knew that I was looking for some particular feeling, some kinda thing that would tell me this is good. I went out with Master and that was it... He didn't push, well actually he did, but gently, easily. He made me feel safe, and he took a little bit here and a little bit there and asked me if I was okay and all of those things everyone here is talking about when they say... you don't know until you find someone that makes you feel that safe. The safer he made me feel, the more I trusted him, the more he consumed me, eventually he ruled me.

I guess my point is, recognize where you think you want to go, but don't let go of your fear. You should have some fear, it should be your guide, your check point. When you are with someone who makes that fear subside that's something to feel good about it, but also step back and look at him. Ask if this is a man that is trustworthy.... Is he a good man? Master swept me up, but I still took a step back periodically to analyze what was happening, and he not only supported that, he insisted on it. I don't think your fear is something for you to conquer. I think it's something that you should have until the right person comes along and conquers it with you. My self recognition and my fear of the bad places it could lead me kept me from winding up in one of those, "suck it all out of you and dump you," relationships. It guided me into this utterly solid, wonderous one instead!
~s

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

Whiplashsmile4~ (or anyone else, just asking because of his particular post) :)

I've always been a little mystified by the line of reasoning... "would a slave be rendered incapable of taking care of her/his self." I functioned before I was with my Master. I knew how to pay bills, and budget and all the rest. I don't do that now, and I'm glad I don't, but I'm quite certain that if something were to happen to him, I'd be able to figure it out again. He has life insurance, a will, and all of that, so it isn't like I'd be left with a bunch of bills I couldn't pay... he's made certain of that. If I had to work, well, I'll know how to cut hair til the day I die, so I could always pick it back up. My point is, I don't understand why a slave wouldn't be provided for and unable to figure out how to pay bills etc? Is there something I am missing?

Mentally/emotionally I would require alot of antidepressants and grief therapy I'm sure :)
~s

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

In response to both the Doormat thread that NZ started and the Where does it end part 2 thread (which scared me a lot), i decided to start this thread based on comments that i made in the Doormat thread. i identify as a submissive, not as a slave. In fact, i identify as a heavily service oriented, exceedingly obedient submissive, but i make it clear if asked that i am not a slave. Part of the reason that i identify that way is that way is because of the fact that the thought of what it would mean to me to be a slave scares me immensely.

While i am not trying to make a universal definition of what it means to be a slave, i have my own definition of what it would mean to me, my own internal definition of a slave. (Please in response to this thread, please do not let this thread denigrate into a definition of a slave thread.) To me, if i were to identify as a slave, it would require of me, to change or give up control of a number of things. For one thing, for me to identify as a slave, would mean to me that i would no longer have the right to say no. For another, if i were a slave, i would not be able to retain control over things like finances, jobs, my business, that sort of thing. And if those things weren't scary enough, it would require of me a vulnerability and an openness that shakes me to my toes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

In response to both the Doormat thread that NZ started and the Where does it end part 2 thread (which scared me a lot), i decided to start this thread based on comments that i made in the Doormat thread. i identify as a submissive, not as a slave. In fact, i identify as a heavily service oriented, exceedingly obedient submissive, but i make it clear if asked that i am not a slave. Part of the reason that i identify that way is that way is because of the fact that the thought of what it would mean to me to be a slave scares me immensely.

While i am not trying to make a universal definition of what it means to be a slave, i have my own definition of what it would mean to me, my own internal definition of a slave. (Please in response to this thread, please do not let this thread denigrate into a definition of a slave thread.) To me, if i were to identify as a slave, it would require of me, to change or give up control of a number of things. For one thing, for me to identify as a slave, would mean to me that i would no longer have the right to say no. For another, if i were a slave, i would not be able to retain control over things like finances, jobs, my business, that sort of thing. And if those things weren't scary enough, it would require of me a vulnerability and an openness that shakes me to my toes.

Ooooh, Good post. Talk about nailing down some basic fears.

Quick thoughts from the flip side of the kneel.
I agree with the thought that slavery does not occur overnight. The descent (nice word eh) is a slide that gathers momentum over time as the parties get to know each other, trust is built, character is established, moments are shared. Hell, it's almost an organic process that occurs of itself if both parties approach it with open minds. My experience is that the slave decision is one that she usually reaches herself, out of a desire to go further into service to me.
With that in mind:

For one thing, for me to identify as a slave, would mean to me that i would no longer have the right to say no.

Yep. If pinned down, I would define this is the difference between a slave and a sub. Buuuut, is this so bad?

For another, if i were a slave, i would not be able to retain control over things like finances, jobs, my business, that sort of thing.

This is true. However, I have to say, as a dominant, there are areas of her life I am very careful about. Yes, she is mine, to do with as I wish. But I also believe that part of being a dominant is keeping in mind what's best for her. Hence, I don't do things that will tear apart her life, especially in major areas, and I certainly wouldn't do so without what I felt was extremely good cause. I'm a responsible guy. I treat the things I value accordingly.
I know that, and she knows that. Hell, that fact is a huge part of the reason she ceded her will to me in the first place-because I was worthy of it. Not once, not twice, a hundred times.
I walk her through her fears, pick her up when she's down, brush her off, expect more of her, and see more in her, than she often does herself.

Now me, and this is just me, I rarely, if ever, get involved in her finances. Experience has taught that nothing messes up relationships (And I mean any type, friends, family, whatever) than money. Swear to God, I would loan huge sums to my worst enemy before I would lend a penny to a friend.

Jobs are another thing. I live in the real world. At my age, we ain't talking about flipping burgers at Wendy's-most women I know are career tracking. How irresponsible would it be for me to demand something that would jeopardize a job with years invested in it?  There is no way that's happening unless I really have good cause.

I have a nice car. I take good care of it.
I have a cat that I love. Mess with my kitten and  I'll take your head off. I certainly never would do anything to harm her.
Slaves are the same, except squared to the nth degree. If I owned a Renoir, I would damn sure well take proper care of it.

What I am saying is that just because I can get involved and seize control, I don't have to. I exercise judicious dominion. She knew that going in. That's why she wanted, needed, begged to make the decision to serve as a slave. To me. No RS. Not Michael. Not anyone, anywhere. Me.
It also doesn't mean that I won't assert such control when and if I feel it's needed. But if I am, it's because I feel strongly enough about something to be willing to risk the relationship, because as you pointed out, she always has the right to say no.

Part of the reason that I don't get involved in every area is because frankly I am too lazy to micromanage. Also I abhor weak people. I come from the school that believes its better to teach a man to fish that he can feed his family forever than give him a fish and see him starve tomorrow.
I am realist enough to recognize that in many areas, she may damn well be more skilled than me. Good leadership involves delegation. I once owned a CFO. Do you really think I was telling her what to do with her money?
Finally, and this is just me, and I know I am way out in left field here, I believe that a huge part of my role is to help her grow, as a person, as a slave, as a woman.
I can't do that by making all the calls for her, like it as she may. I am going to push her, make her face fears, walk through them, grow in the process. I will be by her side as she does but she needs to do it. Domination does not equal sheltering.

Maybe it's just my ego talking but daminitall, I want her to be a better person for having known me.

And if those things weren't scary enough, it would require of me a vulnerability and an openness that shakes me to my toes.

After that entire interlude, I suspect that this is the heart of the matter. The irony here is that why I may not give a rats ass about a lot of the items mentioned above, this is an absolute in my book.
When I want a woman, I want her mind, body and soul. I want her cunt, I want her heart. I want her thoughts. I want her spirit.
I don't like soft porn. I don't like watered down drinks. and I don't like having only part of a woman. I want it all.
I'm a pig. I want the entirety of her.
So I failed PC 101. Shoot me.

I demand that openness. I will tear through to get it. I have left women crying. I have been called mean, cruel, unfair. I am ruthless in the getting of it.Yes, it leaves her vulnerable. Yes it leaves her naked and shaking. That's part of the price in playing with me because that spot within, that surrender, the ceding of will, that exchange of hearts and minds, floating and flying free, that wild vulnerability is to me the single most erotic thing on earth and lies at the heart of all that we do in this thing that we do.

The letting go is terrifying, and absolutely the most freeing thing you will ever experience. But walking through those walls of fear, whoooh, that can be some serious work.
This is the joy and the fear, the agony and ecstasy, the leap of trust and faith, dancing on the razors edge, walking blindly into the darkness, yours and his, sure that he will lead you safely home again.

The irony of this is that the second part creates the first as the first creates the second.
The vulnerability comes from the trust. the trust comes from a progressive opening of vulnerability. If arranged properly, they can form a loop. I give much as I demand much.

So the thought scares you?
It should. Hell, it should terrify you.
Slavery asks a lot, more than most can give.
It takes a tremendously strong woman to be a slave, to give all.
But the reward. Oh my, the reward.

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

For those who are in M/s relationships where you as the s-type have taken on your Master's limit, thereby not limiting His authority in your life, did you face such fears, if so, how did you deal with them?

it is something this slave had trained/prepared for as a youth and tried to accomplish within relationships her entire adult life. she wasn't aware that such a thing had a name like "Master/slave" relationship---or she would have sought it out when she was actively seeking out relationship partners. the closest she came to it when she was fishing in the vanilla pond was with someone who had a dominant personality but absolutely no integrity or conscience...and she almost lost her life. after several years of licking this slave's wounds, she healed and moved forward with trusting again...in herself, her path and what the Great Architect had in store for her.

to be allowed, even encouraged to submit to another's desires/direction/authority/control, without having to "keep one eye open" while we sleep or limit his authority while awake...to have that drive to surrender respected...instead of dismissed as weak/doormatish/mentally ill behavior, to have it appreciated and used by Him, unfettered, for our mutual enjoyment---it's a beautiful existence so full of warmth, security, ecstasy, companionship, compatibility, fun and pleasure, there is no room for fear.

i would love to get to such a place, where there is no room for fear. Thank you for your reply

quote:

How irresponsible would it be for me to demand something that would jeopardize a job with years invested in it? There is no way that's happening unless I really have good cause.

quote:

I once owned a CFO.

quote:

When I want a woman, I want her mind, body and soul. I want her cunt, I want her heart. I want her thoughts. I want her spirit. I don't like soft porn. I don't like watered down drinks. and I don't like having only part of a woman. I want it all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

I certainly haven't had the same experience you have, but I do understand the fear factor. I realized at some point, years ago, that I was, as Uniqueraven puts it, slave-wired. As far back as I can remember that's where my head was, even when I didn't even understand what any of it meant! I was Fantasizing about calling someone Master when I was just a kid and was utterly baffled by it. I also, at some point, realized my definite "doormat" propensity. So eventually I realized that my abundance for giving, enduring, dependance, and flat out worship of someone was....... beyond the norm ;) I knew I could absolutely do whatever someone wanted. I knew I was utterly capable of turning over every single solitary factor of my being to someone else. Talk about scary! I recognized this meant I had to be verrrryyyy careful about who I got involved with. I had to make certain it wasn't someone who would suck all that up and toss me aside. Hmmm okay actually I realized alot of this because I did go there with someone and they did toss me aside and it took me months to even sort of pull myself together.

I mustered up the ability to be protective of myself. I recognized that because I am so easily pushed into things that I had to be careful of everything I did because it would be really easy in just talking to someone to get sucked in! I was careful. I didn't even put anything in my profile. I was elusive about what I was looking for, where I knew I could go.... I didn't say alot, but I asked alot of questions and constantly reminded myself to stay in check... and it wasn't easy for me to do. I still got pushed into a couple of things! At any rate, I knew that I was looking for some particular feeling, some kinda thing that would tell me this is good. I went out with Master and that was it... He didn't push, well actually he did, but gently, easily. He made me feel safe, and he took a little bit here and a little bit there and asked me if I was okay and all of those things everyone here is talking about when they say... you don't know until you find someone that makes you feel that safe. The safer he made me feel, the more I trusted him, the more he consumed me, eventually he ruled me.

I guess my point is, recognize where you think you want to go, but don't let go of your fear. You should have some fear, it should be your guide, your check point. When you are with someone who makes that fear subside that's something to feel good about it, but also step back and look at him. Ask if this is a man that is trustworthy.... Is he a good man? Master swept me up, but I still took a step back periodically to analyze what was happening, and he not only supported that, he insisted on it. I don't think your fear is something for you to conquer. I think it's something that you should have until the right person comes along and conquers it with you. My self recognition and my fear of the bad places it could lead me kept me from winding up in one of those, "suck it all out of you and dump you," relationships. It guided me into this utterly solid, wonderous one instead!
~s

A beautiful example of what I was talking about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

In response to both the Doormat thread that NZ started and the Where does it end part 2 thread (which scared me a lot), i decided to start this thread based on comments that i made in the Doormat thread. i identify as a submissive, not as a slave. In fact, i identify as a heavily service oriented, exceedingly obedient submissive, but i make it clear if asked that i am not a slave. Part of the reason that i identify that way is that way is because of the fact that the thought of what it would mean to me to be a slave scares me immensely.

While i am not trying to make a universal definition of what it means to be a slave, i have my own definition of what it would mean to me, my own internal definition of a slave. (Please in response to this thread, please do not let this thread denigrate into a definition of a slave thread.) To me, if i were to identify as a slave, it would require of me, to change or give up control of a number of things. For one thing, for me to identify as a slave, would mean to me that i would no longer have the right to say no. For another, if i were a slave, i would not be able to retain control over things like finances, jobs, my business, that sort of thing. And if those things weren't scary enough, it would require of me a vulnerability and an openness that shakes me to my toes.

Ooooh, Good post. Talk about nailing down some basic fears.

Quick thoughts from the flip side of the kneel.
I agree with the thought that slavery does not occur overnight. The descent (nice word eh) is a slide that gathers momentum over time as the parties get to know each other, trust is built, character is established, moments are shared. Hell, it's almost an organic process that occurs of itself if both parties approach it with open minds. My experience is that the slave decision is one that she usually reaches herself, out of a desire to go further into service to me.
With that in mind:

For one thing, for me to identify as a slave, would mean to me that i would no longer have the right to say no.

Yep. If pinned down, I would define this is the difference between a slave and a sub. Buuuut, is this so bad?

For another, if i were a slave, i would not be able to retain control over things like finances, jobs, my business, that sort of thing.

This is true. However, I have to say, as a dominant, there are areas of her life I am very careful about. Yes, she is mine, to do with as I wish. But I also believe that part of being a dominant is keeping in mind what's best for her. Hence, I don't do things that will tear apart her life, especially in major areas, and I certainly wouldn't do so without what I felt was extremely good cause. I'm a responsible guy. I treat the things I value accordingly.
I know that, and she knows that. Hell, that fact is a huge part of the reason she ceded her will to me in the first place-because I was worthy of it. Not once, not twice, a hundred times.
I walk her through her fears, pick her up when she's down, brush her off, expect more of her, and see more in her, than she often does herself.

Now me, and this is just me, I rarely, if ever, get involved in her finances. Experience has taught that nothing messes up relationships (And I mean any type, friends, family, whatever) than money. Swear to God, I would loan huge sums to my worst enemy before I would lend a penny to a friend.

Jobs are another thing. I live in the real world. At my age, we ain't talking about flipping burgers at Wendy's-most women I know are career tracking. How irresponsible would it be for me to demand something that would jeopardize a job with years invested in it?  There is no way that's happening unless I really have good cause.

I have a nice car. I take good care of it.
I have a cat that I love. Mess with my kitten and  I'll take your head off. I certainly never would do anything to harm her.
Slaves are the same, except squared to the nth degree. If I owned a Renoir, I would damn sure well take proper care of it.

What I am saying is that just because I can get involved and seize control, I don't have to. I exercise judicious dominion. She knew that going in. That's why she wanted, needed, begged to make the decision to serve as a slave. To me. No RS. Not Michael. Not anyone, anywhere. Me.
It also doesn't mean that I won't assert such control when and if I feel it's needed. But if I am, it's because I feel strongly enough about something to be willing to risk the relationship, because as you pointed out, she always has the right to say no.

Part of the reason that I don't get involved in every area is because frankly I am too lazy to micromanage. Also I abhor weak people. I come from the school that believes its better to teach a man to fish that he can feed his family forever than give him a fish and see him starve tomorrow.
I am realist enough to recognize that in many areas, she may damn well be more skilled than me. Good leadership involves delegation. I once owned a CFO. Do you really think I was telling her what to do with her money?
Finally, and this is just me, and I know I am way out in left field here, I believe that a huge part of my role is to help her grow, as a person, as a slave, as a woman.
I can't do that by making all the calls for her, like it as she may. I am going to push her, make her face fears, walk through them, grow in the process. I will be by her side as she does but she needs to do it. Domination does not equal sheltering.

Maybe it's just my ego talking but daminitall, I want her to be a better person for having known me.

And if those things weren't scary enough, it would require of me a vulnerability and an openness that shakes me to my toes.

After that entire interlude, I suspect that this is the heart of the matter. The irony here is that why I may not give a rats ass about a lot of the items mentioned above, this is an absolute in my book.
When I want a woman, I want her mind, body and soul. I want her cunt, I want her heart. I want her thoughts. I want her spirit.
I don't like soft porn. I don't like watered down drinks. and I don't like having only part of a woman. I want it all.
I'm a pig. I want the entirety of her.
So I failed PC 101. Shoot me.

I demand that openness. I will tear through to get it. I have left women crying. I have been called mean, cruel, unfair. I am ruthless in the getting of it.Yes, it leaves her vulnerable. Yes it leaves her naked and shaking. That's part of the price in playing with me because that spot within, that surrender, the ceding of will, that exchange of hearts and minds, floating and flying free, that wild vulnerability is to me the single most erotic thing on earth and lies at the heart of all that we do in this thing that we do.

The letting go is terrifying, and absolutely the most freeing thing you will ever experience. But walking through those walls of fear, whoooh, that can be some serious work.
This is the joy and the fear, the agony and ecstasy, the leap of trust and faith, dancing on the razors edge, walking blindly into the darkness, yours and his, sure that he will lead you safely home again.

The irony of this is that the second part creates the first as the first creates the second.
The vulnerability comes from the trust. the trust comes from a progressive opening of vulnerability. If arranged properly, they can form a loop. I give much as I demand much.

So the thought scares you?
It should. Hell, it should terrify you.
Slavery asks a lot, more than most can give.
It takes a tremendously strong woman to be a slave, to give all.
But the reward. Oh my, the reward.

quote:


I define "all" as being "all encompassing". The bedroom and dungeon antics are minor compared the rest of life. It also isn't "micromanagement", it is not management, it's a desired way to live my life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

Whiplashsmile4~ (or anyone else, just asking because of his particular post) :)

I've always been a little mystified by the line of reasoning... "would a slave be rendered incapable of taking care of her/his self." I functioned before I was with my Master. I knew how to pay bills, and budget and all the rest. I don't do that now, and I'm glad I don't, but I'm quite certain that if something were to happen to him, I'd be able to figure it out again. He has life insurance, a will, and all of that, so it isn't like I'd be left with a bunch of bills I couldn't pay... he's made certain of that. If I had to work, well, I'll know how to cut hair til the day I die, so I could always pick it back up. My point is, I don't understand why a slave wouldn't be provided for and unable to figure out how to pay bills etc? Is there something I am missing?

Mentally/emotionally I would require alot of antidepressants and grief therapy I'm sure :)
~s

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
So i am very capable, strong, and able to make my way in this world. Just doing it on my own, it just isn't "right" for me, it isn't "home" - and it isn't what i most need. But you won't find me sitting naked under a bush somewhere crying and sniveling and hoping someone will just come save me. That just wouldn't happen. In my view, i am property that needs to protect my value for my future Owner - and being able to take care of myself when unowned is a huge part of that protection. [:)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I am about to set myself up to get flamed, but I have done a great deal of thinking on this topic, and it just seems to me that the  structure stuff usually gets in the way of the entire communication and trust building thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
This is part of the problem with people..It isn't reason at all but a grab at the most extreme possible straw to support their arguments/fears of dealing. How many slaves do we know in this day and time that are completely void of thought patterns? Maybe those blow up ones that are in a few of you guys closets? (No offense to plastic lovers[:D])

It's amazes me just how little common sense and actual logic seems to be missing when debating topics around here. You'd think the ones who obviously could write novels on what it means to be a garden rake could figure it out but hey....grab at those straws. Use the abuse angle, weak angle, I'll be expected to be devoid of any feelings and whatever you need to make your silly argument but in the end...none of it really matters.

It's like they believe the people are homeless living in the woods and we doormat hunters have to make special trips to round them up.[:D]

Do you have your lasso? Check
How bout your stun gun? Check
You'll need some food lure..Their bound to be hungry..Check

Giddy Up[:D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
So i am very capable, strong, and able to make my way in this world. Just doing it on my own, it just isn't "right" for me, it isn't "home" - and it isn't what i most need. But you won't find me sitting naked under a bush somewhere crying and sniveling and hoping someone will just come save me. That just wouldn't happen. In my view, i am property that needs to protect my value for my future Owner - and being able to take care of myself when unowned is a huge part of that protection. [:)]

Lawdy Lawd Almighty, but I love how slaves think.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

I certainly haven't had the same experience you have, but I do understand the fear factor. I realized at some point, years ago, that I was, as Uniqueraven puts it, slave-wired. As far back as I can remember that's where my head was, even when I didn't even understand what any of it meant! I was Fantasizing about calling someone Master when I was just a kid and was utterly baffled by it. I also, at some point, realized my definite "doormat" propensity. So eventually I realized that my abundance for giving, enduring, dependance, and flat out worship of someone was....... beyond the norm ;) I knew I could absolutely do whatever someone wanted. I knew I was utterly capable of turning over every single solitary factor of my being to someone else. Talk about scary! I recognized this meant I had to be verrrryyyy careful about who I got involved with. I had to make certain it wasn't someone who would suck all that up and toss me aside. Hmmm okay actually I realized alot of this because I did go there with someone and they did toss me aside and it took me months to even sort of pull myself together.

I mustered up the ability to be protective of myself. I recognized that because I am so easily pushed into things that I had to be careful of everything I did because it would be really easy in just talking to someone to get sucked in! I was careful. I didn't even put anything in my profile. I was elusive about what I was looking for, where I knew I could go.... I didn't say alot, but I asked alot of questions and constantly reminded myself to stay in check... and it wasn't easy for me to do. I still got pushed into a couple of things! At any rate, I knew that I was looking for some particular feeling, some kinda thing that would tell me this is good. I went out with Master and that was it... He didn't push, well actually he did, but gently, easily. He made me feel safe, and he took a little bit here and a little bit there and asked me if I was okay and all of those things everyone here is talking about when they say... you don't know until you find someone that makes you feel that safe. The safer he made me feel, the more I trusted him, the more he consumed me, eventually he ruled me.

I guess my point is, recognize where you think you want to go, but don't let go of your fear. You should have some fear, it should be your guide, your check point. When you are with someone who makes that fear subside that's something to feel good about it, but also step back and look at him. Ask if this is a man that is trustworthy.... Is he a good man? Master swept me up, but I still took a step back periodically to analyze what was happening, and he not only supported that, he insisted on it. I don't think your fear is something for you to conquer. I think it's something that you should have until the right person comes along and conquers it with you. My self recognition and my fear of the bad places it could lead me kept me from winding up in one of those, "suck it all out of you and dump you," relationships. It guided me into this utterly solid, wonderous one instead!
~s

A beautiful example of what I was talking about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

i agree, just not everyone is "wired" like ownedbyPF or me, or even beth (even though we all are still unique individuals). When i read this post by ownedbyPF i thought, "Wow, she sounds just like me." [;)]

My point is just that not every woman has this inside of her. Just having an Owner who makes her feel "safe" wont make every woman a slave, nor is it right or fulfilling for every woman. It's an individual journey.

i think we're closer in our thinking then it seems, i'm just wanting to make the distinction to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Slavery asks a lot, more than most can give.
It takes a tremendously strong woman to be a slave, to give all.