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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

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...Same goes for Beth, a woman I see as anything but a "doormat" despite her self identifying as such...

indeed, there are folks who won't see this slave as His "slave", either...because regardless of the FACT that there is no one-true-defintion-that-fits-all for slave, their own personal perception and prejudices preclude them from acknowledging it's legitimacy.
we each operate under our own individual realities. this slave has been hanging out with herself for her entire life...and she can tell you, without hesitation, she's held down the role of slave, and even doormat for that matter, without anyone ever referring to her as either.

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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

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ORIGINAL: Kana
But, and not sniping, genuine curiosity, how difficult a struggle was it for you reaching that place?

You know, I am not sure that I can answer that question with any chance of accurately portraying it. In a lot of ways it was as easy as breathing. In other ways, it was the second hardest thing that I have ever done (the first being overcoming 'major depressive disorder, severe'). It was hard when I was fighting who I was; it was easy when I just allowed myself to be.

I spent many years building walls to protect my core. Until I met my Lord, I had not met one single person who understood and appreciated the core of who I was. Even my mom told me that I would have to hold back and not be me with my partners. Being me wasn't hard; overcoming all the conditioning and tearing down the walls that I had built was hard.

In the beginning of my relationship, we were also long distance which adds its own emotional struggles, so it is hard to distinguish if the struggle was due to the distance or to being a slave. We have been living together for over two years now and the three of us fit so seamlessly together you would think we have been together for decades.

A couple weekends ago, we were at an event and someone mentioned that they wanted what Alandra and I have with him. I really have to wonder if they want to be a slave to someone or do they just want to be in a relationship where they can be who they are with their partner(s). Do people see a couple and say "I want that" and make the mistake of saying "I want M/s" when what they really want is the joy and peace that comes from being who they are?

Not sure if that answered your question or not. My brain is all jumbled and thoughts are flying faster than my fingers can type.

Knight's Kyra

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ORIGINAL: lally2

if it disgusts and repels them then theyre probably not into submissives or slaves.

being vulnerable doesnt equate to weak either, though i understand where youre coming from, but if you could just see how much strength that would take for you, youd realise how strong you were being., and a Master that took you on would know that too.

its so hard to explain how it goes, its one of those situations where you have to find it out for youreself. but the whole thing is organic and grows, it doesnt all fall into place right off the bat, not usually anyway, least not when youre entering Ms for the first time.

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ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Oh, hell yes! Over five years ago, there was no way in hell I was going to be a slave; I was not going to give someone that much authority in my life. What is that saying, "The best laid plans of mice and men..."?

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Heartfelt,

You already have seen Kyra's response and I will give my response from a different perspective of the same relationship.

I am rather highly suspicious of those s-types that reflect they have/had no fears. I realize there are exceptions in some cases and in those cases my concerns are easly are put to rest. But for the most part, such indiividuals are going to have all sorts of fears. I would say that one of the rewardings aspects for me and even a tool to measure my own progress in reaching inside my girl's mind and heart was causing her to take actions that defied her fears and even overcome them.

For myself, I embraced those fears that Kyra had and even am grateful for them. I suppose I appreciate them so much more because Alandra was much different with regards to fears. She to a very great degree did not have them. Yes they where there but very subtle and in many ways irrelevant to hindering our progress or helping it for that matter.

I would also state and I am not intending to be calous... but your history that generate such fears is rather irrelevant. It is indeed sad when people such as yourself have had a difficult past which does condition you to respond more intensely with various emotions. But the reasons of the past do not need to be issues of the present. All that is need is s person to appreciate that you have intense responses on those things that generate a fear response. As Kyra already shared she has intense responses to things that bring fear to her. My approach was not one to conquer those fears of her past. It was about bringing her mind to the present and making new history with us. My actions, our interactions developed the conditioning of her emtional responses that took precedents to those things in the past. I brought her to the Now! and Now was us! Bringing her to the Now made the past irrelevant. It makes her emotional responses about Now. The next step of course was being the right person where she could be exactly what she needed. This wasn't a question of me trying to be something. It would never work if I did. I had to be me... and if Me was the right key to bring her to now and release those fears it would... otherwise... well... she would of moved on

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

i refuse to allow myself to stay the victim of someone else's or my own actions and therefore was trying to address with this thread.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Heartfelt,
.
I am rather highly suspicious of those s-types that reflect they have/had no fears. I realize there are exceptions in some cases and in those cases my concerns are easly are put to rest. But for the most part, such indiividuals are going to have all sorts of fears. I would say that one of the rewardings aspects for me and even a tool to measure my own progress in reaching inside my girl's mind and heart was causing her to take actions that defied her fears and even overcome them.
.
I would also state and I am not intending to be calous... but your history that generate such fears is rather irrelevant. It is indeed sad when people such as yourself have had a difficult past which does condition you to respond more intensely with various emotions. But the reasons of the past do not need to be issues of the present. All that is need is s person to appreciate that you have intense responses on those things that generate a fear response. As Kyra already shared she has intense responses to things that bring fear to her. My approach was not one to conquer those fears of her past. It was about bringing her mind to the present and making new history with us. My actions, our interactions developed the conditioning of her emtional responses that took precedents to those things in the past. I brought her to the Now! and Now was us! Bringing her to the Now made the past irrelevant. It makes her emotional responses about Now. The next step of course was being the right person where she could be exactly what she needed. This wasn't a question of me trying to be something. It would never work if I did. I had to be me... and if Me was the right key to bring her to now and release those fears it would... otherwise... well... she would of moved on

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ORIGINAL: lally2


ive highlighted those two bits because to me they seem to be in contradiction to each other.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

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ORIGINAL: ownedbyPF

Just a fast reply thingy here....

I didn't mean to stir any kind of anything up with my question about a slaves ability to function later. I meant it as a sincere question! Probably I should have posted it elsewhere, it just popped out because of having just seen it. Sooo anyhow, sorry for the thread jack, and I really hope, Whiplash, that you didn't think I was being snarky... I was being entirely genuine in my inquiry!
~s

Owned, I appreciated and enjoyed your insightful coin flip and toss back at me. :-) It was an A++ quality response, 100% genuine. It's posts like yours that truely makes a real difference.