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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 12:55:54 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

To all those people who think lonliness is just the happiest thing that ever happened to you. Why do you follow it up with getting an relationship?



I think there is a rather large difference between loneliness and not being in a relationship. Distancing oneself from intimacy can sometimes allow for self-assessments that will prove to be beneficial to potential future relationships.  Describing someone's active choice to not engage in a relationship as "loneliness" is attaching negative connotations that otherwise wouldn't be associated with it.



Again wholeheartedly agree with these statements. i have been lonely after the break-up of my marriage and my last D/s relationship, i do not currently feel lonely, alone i am currently alone (ie not in a relationship). While i am not in a relationship as a conscious choice as much as due to circumstances, i am taking the time that has been given to me by these circumstances to work on issues that i am aware are there internally.

heartfelt



_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 1:03:20 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Ah i see NZ , thank you for explaining that.

My pleasure.

I have personally had an interesting see-saw experience with trying to find that line between trying to be more critical of relationships when they begin based on the bad endings of previous ones without crossing over to the point where I'm jaded and potentially ruining something that could be positive.

It's particularly interesting seeing/hearing from this sort of issue from the perspective of an s-type because of the degree of additional vulnerability that can be attached to that role.



Exactly what i am trying to do, find that line. Thank you for your replies to this thread.

Now the really important questiion...do i get any points (chuckling)

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 1:14:29 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		You are more then welcome, heartfeltsub
Please do know that my cmails are open. i do have a good habit of just listening, when someone needs to express themselves.

Blessings
wisdomtogive

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 1:14:58 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Now the really important questiion...do i get any points (chuckling)

At the risk of again derailing your rather fantastic thread....sure.


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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 1:15:19 PM   
Icarys


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quote:

Close.

However, I would have replaced the first comma with a period or perhaps a semicolon. I would have referred to dice as cubes rather than squares (which they are not). I wouldn't have referred to humans as two-dimensional beings and considering that both humans and dice are actually three-dimensional entities, I wouldn't have attempted to dissociate them based on shape. And, lastly, I wouldn't have misspelled "whereas".


Ohhhh highfalutin snark! I like!

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 1:21:08 PM   
Dominasola


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From: Ottawa, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

While i am not in a relationship as a conscious choice as much as due to circumstances, i am taking the time that has been given to me by these circumstances to work on issues that i am aware are there internally.





I don't know if others may feel the same way, but I have always felt intense pressure from those around me to find and establish a long-term relationship.   I remember an aunt asking me about ten years ago if I had found a boyfriend yet (and I'm only 22 now!), and the pressure from my extended family just kept building. I gave into that pressure a few years later, and I wasn't single for more than a month in total until last year. When I finally had a break from relationships (circumstantial, too), I began to realize that I didn't even know who I was and what I wanted out of a relationship or even life in general.  I consciously molded my wants and needs to those of my partners' - not because of my submissiveness, but because I hadn't developed any ability for self-analysis to determine what I wanted out of life.  I had a strong sense of self-defeatism.  I didn't know who I was.   The past year has been extremely beneficial for me in developing a sense of self.  I think this is really necessary really don't have anything to surrender.


_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 1:42:46 PM   
cloudboy


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Joined: 12/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There is a huge difference between doing the internal work to be fully functional on your own and being co-dependant so that you NEED someone to be fully functional.

Or to put it in "relationship math" one is:

1/2 + 1 = 1.5

and the other is

1 + 1 = 3

quote:

1/2 + 1 = 1.5

and the other is

1 + 1 = 3


You left out 1/2 + 0 = 1/4 or 1 + 0 = 1/2

Also, one can develop in a relationship too.

1/2 + 1 might later evolve into 1 + 1 or even 1 + 1/2.

Whether single or in a relationship, one needs to be developing one way or another. Also, the grass is not always greener, and "working on oneself" might just be an excuse to push others away or avoid commitments if you tend to end up alone / single over time.

From an strict economic standpoint 1 + 1 = 2 or more in most situations. Sharing costs, division of labor, overlap of talents and abilities, emotional support, being with someone "who knows you" etc. Without social-economic security, most everything else goes out the window in a hurry.

It never hurts to appreciate, work on, and expand what you have v. continually looking for and not finding your mythical 1 + 1 = 3. (not that that was your msg.)

The idea of 1 + 1 = 3 might also lead one to leave 1 + 1 = 2 for something less that 2 in the end.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 3/2/2010 1:46:35 PM >

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:03:27 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There is a huge difference between doing the internal work to be fully functional on your own and being co-dependant so that you NEED someone to be fully functional.

Yes and no.

There is a night-and-day difference for those who have not yet found a situation that is likely to be constant.

There is no discernible difference if the two people are already in such a situation.


The only solid concern I can drum up is whether someone becomes so psychologically crippled by the loss of a need that suicide becomes a recurring prevalent mindset. Otherwise, it's just a matter of one person needing a wider support center than the next.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Or to put it in "relationship math" one is:

1/2 + 1 = 1.5

and the other is

1 + 1 = 3

There are no "half people"; there are people who we each might think would be a detractor to us in a relationship.


*Bolded and edited for brevity and clarity sake

The first comments that you made that there is a a big difference between needing to be with "someone", better put anyone when not in a relationship and needing someone after having established a relationship is something that i would wholeheartedly agree with and is also at the heart of some of the fears that i have addressed in this thread.

i don't know if i have ever been one that "HAD" to be with someone to feel whole. i know that some people are in that place. And it seems to me that being in that place is a much more dangerous place than having fears that might inhibit intimacy, because those who i have known like that tend to choose poorly.

The needing of someone after having spent most of one's life with them, in my case married 23 years, dated for 2 years prior to that, so when getting divorced at 41 almost 42, i had known him for well over half my life as he was (to that point) the only man i had ever dated, kissed, had sex with, etc. So the devastation when he left did leave me suicidal for a while. i couldn't imagine a life without him in it. And that was one of the fears that i had previously mentioned. However due to the fact that i met him when i was still so young and really unformed, (there may be people whose character and personality is fully formed at 16, but i wasn't one of them) and he was such an integral part of my life, father of my kids, etc. i don't know if i would ever feel quite as bereft again, so lost and adrift with no anchor anymore.if a subsequent, though equally intimate relationship might end by whatever means (death, divorce, etc.)

While there is a part of me that would like to go into a D/s relationship where i wouldn't have to "worry" about it getting too intimate, or having to be too vulnerable, or exposing who i am at the core too much (meaning having to do it when i feel the most raw and in my opinion of myself weak), there would be no fear. But then i would be in control, which would make me "feel" safer, but it would also not be the type of relationship that i want. i do, although it is with knocking knees, want to give up that control, want to be that close to another person. i just really also want to actually have him catch me when i fall, because i know that sometime, i will fall.

Taken from a different post of yours NZ, may i ask is that something that you had to consider when you were trying to find that line, or because you are coming from the Dominant perspective, could you or do you have the "right" (not the best word there because of course as the D type you would have the right whether you used it or not would be a different story) to hide portions of yourself?


* Edited to add these thoughts

Part of what i read when Michael was talking about half a person, was someone who feels that the only way he or she can be whole is if he or she is in a relationship with another person. They HAVE to be with someone, and then because they have no sense of wholeness or fulfillment in and of themselves, they can drain the life out of the other person and out of the relationship, constantly looking to the other person to make them something, happy, content, worth something, etc. i know that technically that does not make them half of a person, but it has always been my philosophy that i need to be as whole as i can as a person (hence the point of this thread) to be able to give to someone the best me i can be at that point in my life. While i do not think i will ever attain "perfect" wholeness, it is my goal, my drive, to continually, as things arise, work of those areas of my life where fear or past wounds are reigning. As i also think that too much introspection can be just as much a trap as too little, i don't try to find all the weaknesses that could possibly exist in me, doing an endless search of self-improvement, but i wait to see what comes to the surface, starts to affect my life or comes to my attention and then address those items at that point.

Part of what brought all this home to me as something i needed to deal with, because i was just fine being "just" (please realize i am NOT saying a submissive is any less or greater than a slave, i am trying to make a different point) a submissive and always being a very obedient, service oriented submissive, but not a slave, until a slave retreat at a friend's house. While a discussion about slavery, etc was going on, and i made my normal, i don't identify as a slave speech, it became clear to me that it was fear that made me say that. Once i realized it was fear that had me adamantly keeping that position, the position became one i was no longer comfortable with maintaining. i don't let fear win.

To me, the "not whole person" which i used to be in spades and still see that i am, is one ruled by fears and wounds of the past and is looking for someone else to fix them, instead of doing the work to fix themselves. i don't want to be that person ever again.

Thanks again for all the replies,
heartfelt

< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 3/2/2010 2:23:58 PM >

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:12:24 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

While i am not in a relationship as a conscious choice as much as due to circumstances, i am taking the time that has been given to me by these circumstances to work on issues that i am aware are there internally.





I don't know if others may feel the same way, but I have always felt intense pressure from those around me to find and establish a long-term relationship.   I remember an aunt asking me about ten years ago if I had found a boyfriend yet (and I'm only 22 now!), and the pressure from my extended family just kept building. I gave into that pressure a few years later, and I wasn't single for more than a month in total until last year. When I finally had a break from relationships (circumstantial, too), I began to realize that I didn't even know who I was and what I wanted out of a relationship or even life in general.  I consciously molded my wants and needs to those of my partners' - not because of my submissiveness, but because I hadn't developed any ability for self-analysis to determine what I wanted out of life.  I had a strong sense of self-defeatism.  I didn't know who I was.   The past year has been extremely beneficial for me in developing a sense of self.  I think this is really necessary really don't have anything to surrender.



If i am reading that last sentence correctly, you are saying that until one knows who he or she is, has a sense of self, that person really doesn't have anything to surrender, because he or she doesn't have a grasp on what they are giving to another person. If that is what you said, i completely concur. That is also something that i had meant to add to the post that i made replying to NZ about no half people, but i forgot to add it. i am not sure is anyone can be come completely whole, it is my goal to try to become as whole and emotionally healthy a person as possible, continually striving towards that goal. Again part of the point of this thread.

But there are people, who either think or are taught, that he or she can only be whole and fulfilled when in a relationship with someone else. It sounds like your family was trying to do that to you. Trying to make being with someone the most important thing, more important than finding out who you are as an individual. i think you are a very wise young woman (sorry i am on old fart, old enough to be your mom, so to me you are a young woman). But given your insights on this thread, it seems that you have a good head on your shoulders and have a fairly good grasp of who you are as a person, and what you have to offer NZ. You are to be commended.

Thank you again for your reply,
heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

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Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:41:12 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There is a huge difference between doing the internal work to be fully functional on your own and being co-dependant so that you NEED someone to be fully functional.

Yes and no.

There is a night-and-day difference for those who have not yet found a situation that is likely to be constant.

There is no discernible difference if the two people are already in such a situation.

You are right in that there are no "half people"...Only little people...lol

However..

There is a huge difference. The person that is co-dependent will most likely fuck up every relationship they come into contact with. They can't help themselves. However, out here there are probably enough men suffering from some sort of an inferiority complex that this type of a woman might actually be ideal.

Someone that is content when alone is going to go nuts in the company of a person that is always trying to crawl up their ass. Is there anything worse then being in the company of someone that is just a sponge? A person that offers nothing on their own and just sucks out and lives off of your life force. Relationship vampires.

Tons of them out here. Garlic doesn't do shit. Best to plunge a stake in their heart and hope they go away.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/2/2010 2:43:04 PM >

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:44:14 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
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From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I have always wondered how much of this stems from, abuse, neglect, mental illness and/or unreconciled or untreated traumas from one's past.

Seems an incredibly prevalent theme.


Feel like sharing domiguy?

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I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:48:08 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Taken from a different post of yours NZ, may i ask is that something that you had to consider when you were trying to find that line, or because you are coming from the Dominant perspective, could you or do you have the "right" (not the best word there because of course as the D type you would have the right whether you used it or not would be a different story) to hide portions of yourself?

I have done so when I wasn't sufficiently aware of how I function in relationships or before I developed in knowing how to be up front about it. There have been instances where I am up front about the fact that my dominance is actually a degree of vulnerability that I share (in a somewhat similar way to submission from another) and where I realized that I was at a point where I was putting investment (in that regard) into the situation that I needed to make sure was going to be reciprocated with a complementary amount of effort from the other side.

I've discovered that I am very much this way in other social situations as well. for instance, it's part of what contributed to me becoming quite a bit of a hermit to the photography/modeling circles I used to frequent. I found that via photography (as an artistic extension) I was investing more than I could realistically expect back from certain people and I started feeling spread too thin.

So, I don't necessarily consider it a "right" in that sense. I don't hide anything necessarily although I will openly admit when I feel I have to exercise restraint.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:48:35 PM   
Falkenstein


Posts: 187
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Heartfelt,

I am truly impressed by your posts, especially the -- obviously thoughtful -- time you spend answering the posts of the other members.

Just a thought "fear is good" I would love to have the voice of Michael Douglas playing Gecko in Wall St. when he says "Greed is good". (But I have a Swiss keyboard, thus I suppose that I cannot emulate his accent ;-)

I am afraid of myself, getting carried away, either hurting the person of my love of the process, or lowering her survival skills. I am also afraid of my sub being too submissive / slaverish and hurting herself or putting the relationship in a dangerous direction.

Thus, I drive with the foot on the brake pedal and I listen to my co-driver.

One thing I am checking like milk in the microwave is "relation creep". I do not want her or I ending in some places either of us would not want to be, just because we moved there gradually. While this gradual move is the essence of a D/s relationship, and these small piecemeal surrenders bring big fun and pleasure. To avoid this, I always state -- and overstate -- my goals, and I insist to have "reality checks" regularly, when we reflect upon the path traveled, the road ahead, and the possible alternatives. In these moments, there are not a Master and his sub in the room but two persons on the same level. I call this "humanistic power exchange". This is not always, actually, it is rarely desired or especially liked by my sub, because it "breaks the magic", which is exactly my intent, I believe in reason, not in magic.

You mention that you have a business, that you care of being able to sustain yourself whatever happens in the future. I find this highly reasonable and Christian (help yourself and God will help you).

I understand that this is not a perfect situation for you, it causes probably a lot of disappointment, but in life, we do what we can, not necessarily what we want.

With my very best wishes,

Henry



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Produceth good, whilst ever scheming ill.

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:49:48 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I have always wondered how much of this stems from, abuse, neglect, mental illness and/or unreconciled or untreated traumas from one's past.

Seems an incredibly prevalent theme.


Feel like sharing domiguy?


Well, since she has already endured a shitload of abuse I don't think she would mind licking the Canadian sap out of your holes. I don't know if it is sharing or more akin to taking a car out for a test drive.

It will pretty much respond in the manner that is expected.

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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:50:59 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		Domiguy. I know you weren't replying to me about the codependent relationship vampires-but I have dated enough of that sort to give a few insights.

I think a lot of needy people come to this in hopes of feeding off of the power of others-one reason that this sort of black hole always insists on the "powerful Dominant".

Even the most extremely patient and consistent of people are going to have enormous difficulty in dealing with these-since they usually will try to dodge the issues they are confronted with by using explosive drama.

So it sets up a catch 22 situation-they are going to drive you crazy if you let them feed-and beat you down into depression. And if you impose a hard nosed approach-your house is going to become a 24/7 battle zone.

The only real soulution is to dismiss these sorts and boot them out.



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RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:56:18 PM   
Dominasola


Posts: 582
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Ottawa, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub


If i am reading that last sentence correctly, you are saying that until one knows who he or she is, has a sense of self, that person really doesn't have anything to surrender, because he or she doesn't have a grasp on what they are giving to another person. If that is what you said, i completely concur.



That is what I meant, yes.

quote:



i think you are a very wise young woman (sorry i am on old fart, old enough to be your mom, so to me you are a young woman). But given your insights on this thread, it seems that you have a good head on your shoulders and have a fairly good grasp of who you are as a person, and what you have to offer NZ. You are to be commended.



Thank you!


_____________________________

I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.

—Baruch Spinoza

The measure of a man is what he does with power.

—Pittacus

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:57:12 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

There is a huge difference. The person that is co-dependent will most likely fuck up every relationship they come into contact with.

I probably agree here. But, I actually agree because of my estimating that the vast majority of humans are not willing to handle or capable of handling someone that co-dependent.

Then again, the inevitable fact is that how 'positive' a human trait is (when it comes to relationships) is measured mostly by how likely it is to land you a relationship (which is why we hear that people shouldn't be "too picky").

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

They can't help themselves. However, out here there are probably enough men suffering from some sort of an inferiority complex that this type of a woman might actually be ideal.

That's my point. And if those two people find themselves and live happily ever after, their 'flaws' suddenly become not just non-issues but boons.

It's all relative.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Someone that is content when alone is going to go nuts in the company of a person that is always trying to crawl up their ass. Is there anything worse then being in the company of someone that is just a sponge? A person that offers nothing on their own and just sucks out and lives off of your life force. Relationship vampires.

Not my cup of tea, certainly. Maybe with an incredibly extreme type A personality, though, they'd be well matched.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Tons of them out here. Garlic doesn't do shit. Best to plunge a stake in their heart and hope they go away.

Depends how well they "suck out", I suppose...


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

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Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 2:59:57 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Taken from a different post of yours NZ, may i ask is that something that you had to consider when you were trying to find that line, or because you are coming from the Dominant perspective, could you or do you have the "right" (not the best word there because of course as the D type you would have the right whether you used it or not would be a different story) to hide portions of yourself?

I have done so when I wasn't sufficiently aware of how I function in relationships or before I developed in knowing how to be up front about it. There have been instances where I am up front about the fact that my dominance is actually a degree of vulnerability that I share (in a somewhat similar way to submission from another) and where I realized that I was at a point where I was putting investment (in that regard) into the situation that I needed to make sure was going to be reciprocated with a complementary amount of effort from the other side.

I've discovered that I am very much this way in other social situations as well. for instance, it's part of what contributed to me becoming quite a bit of a hermit to the photography/modeling circles I used to frequent. I found that via photography (as an artistic extension) I was investing more than I could realistically expect back from certain people and I started feeling spread too thin.

So, I don't necessarily consider it a "right" in that sense. I don't hide anything necessarily although I will openly admit when I feel I have to exercise restraint.



Thank you for answering the question that i asked but i don't think i phrased my question well. Let me see if i can explain the actual question that i had in mind.

i know of some D-types who feel that they don't need to be as open, honest and vulnerable as they would require their s-types to be. They state that they are that way as a perogative of being the Dominant or Master. As i stated in the OP, for me, as well as for some others, part of what is "required" in a slave is complete openness and emotional nakedness (similiar to what is talked about in SlaveCraft by Guy Baldwin). Most D-types that i know do not require that same level of complete openness and emotional nakedness of themselves that they would require from their s-types. They would not allow their slave or submissive to hide things from them, but most that i know, do not have the same requirement of themselves.

That was the question that i was asking. In regards to your M/s relationship, do you expect the same level of openness and vulnerability from yourself that you would require from Dominasola? Please forgive me if this is too personal a question.

heartfelt

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Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

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Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 3:05:56 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:


Then again, the inevitable fact is that how 'positive' a human trait is (when it comes to relationships) is measured mostly by how likely it is to land you a relationship (which is why we hear that people shouldn't be "too picky").



While i agree with that statement, isn't it unfortunate that our traits aren't looked at from the viewpoint not on whether or not it lands us in a relationship, but rather whether or not the trait makes us a better person.

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Afraid To Be A Slave - 3/2/2010 3:14:02 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Nehhhh. I really don't think the success rate is all that high. Finding equally damaged folk on each side of the equation.

As we get older we become less pliable and tolerant of shit that we just might have accepted in our pasts.

I think that when dealing with "time and relationship drains" It has much more to do with being "unwilling" to engage such disasters in lieu of being incapable. Might be splitting hairs.

The capability might just be there...but the costs on your time, psyche and over all health just become to big of a toll to endure.

The Asian Carp are encroaching on Chicago and Lake Michigan.. There is probably nothing I can do to prevent their arrival. But I'll be damned if I allow some female to carp over the fact that we don't spend enough time together.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/2/2010 3:15:22 PM >

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