BLoved
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Joined: 8/5/2009
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ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
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I've done quite a bit of that, Win.
For a while anyone new who spoke of wanting to learn would receive an invitation from me to read the various essays and stories I've had posted to my profile (I've taken all but one down, but there have been times when several pages of material was presented).
Many of them have visited, some wrote, nothing led anywhere.
Bob, I mean this in the kindest of ways, but you keep leading people to your "writings" and it isn't working for you. After 7 years,
Two-and-a-half years.
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you are still seeking love. Maybe you should just put away your creative writing, and engage women on a personal level. I'm not talking about inviting them over for casual sex. I'm talking about writing to them, approaching them, putting yourself forward as available emotionally.
If I show an interest in someone, and their only reply to me is "go read my profile" or "go read my journal" I don't feel as if my interest was reciproprocated.
I'm not going to harp on this, lest it begin to sound like I'm trying to bully you into trying things "my way," and this is the last I'll say on the topic. I acknowledge that when all is said and done, all we can do is be true to ourselves. I just think that sometimes, we aren't aways doing things in our own best interest and it benefits us to try new things and approaches, when what we are doing isnt working for us.
I think that is good advice for most people.
I see my situation differently.
The only words in my profile are those of my story: "Introductions"
I think it an adequate introduction for anyone curious about me.
I think the problem is bdsm sites like this give the impression bdsm is just about meaningless sex/kink. Thus they attract people seeking only that while repelling those who seek love.
Unfortunately there are no viable choices when it comes to love and bdsm.
I can look for bdsm on a vanilla site and shock a lot of people when I describe the relationship I seek, or I can look for love on a bdsm site and be rejected by a lot of people seeking nothing more than meaningless sex/kink.
What I cannot do is find a site where it is expected I'll be looking for love and bdsm. They don't exist.
Personally I think the bdsm sites are being short-sighted by focusing only on the sex/kink. I think there are a lot more people like me, only most of them have chosen not to rub shoulders with the immature.
Can't say I blame them.
I may never find the lady I seek. The inability to find a site where those of us seeking love and bdsm are welcome and encouraged may result in us never crossing paths.
Such is life.
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When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.
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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 
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