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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/12/2010 4:41:21 AM

allthatjaz

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Actually 'A romantic affair' is a good way of describing what the scene was once to me LT.
I wasn't about playing in public or dressing up or having a sub walk three steps behind me. It was the acceptance of everything going on around me. Thats what put a smile on my face.
It doesn't feel the same anymore and it does bother me when I start wondering 'why on earth are they doing that?' because it feels like a slippery slope to non-acceptance.
Many clubs, at least in the UK are like carnivals with some added extras. They can be hugely flamboyant and the atmosphere is party, party, party. I will never stop loving that kind of atmosphere. Other clubs are dark and seedy and theres play going on all over the place. Those are the clubs I now stand thinking 'what the hell am I doing here?' Nothing feels real anymore, its not exciting.
Your right, I am fulfilling my dream at home and its very real, more real than I every thought it could be. I have just grown out and away from the playground I once embraced and moved onto another level.

I appear to of changed direction from my initial post but I haven't really. Its me that's become disillusioned but the scene is not a freak show and if its life was threatened I would be the first to stand up and attempt to save it.

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/12/2010 4:48:48 AM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I appear to of changed direction from my initial post but I haven't really. Its me that's become disillusioned but the scene is not a freak show and if its life was threatened I would be the first to stand up and attempt to save it.

Coming back to this feeling...I still think it's at least partially relevant to the deepening of your own relationship. When we are in a good dynamic with partner(s), it's easier to look back at things we did that may have seemed desperate because we wanted to get to where we are. Consequently, it's also easier to spot when other people are doing similar things. Or it's also the importance of the bond you are developing in your relationship making you naturally less attracted to ephemeral and more superficial/play things.

Perhaps just the BDSM equivalent of how married couples tend to seek out and bond more with other married couples?

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/12/2010 6:23:36 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I appear to of changed direction from my initial post but I haven't really. Its me that's become disillusioned but the scene is not a freak show and if its life was threatened I would be the first to stand up and attempt to save it.

Coming back to this feeling...I still think it's at least partially relevant to the deepening of your own relationship. When we are in a good dynamic with partner(s), it's easier to look back at things we did that may have seemed desperate because we wanted to get to where we are. Consequently, it's also easier to spot when other people are doing similar things. Or it's also the importance of the bond you are developing in your relationship making you naturally less attracted to ephemeral and more superficial/play things.

Perhaps just the BDSM equivalent of how married couples tend to seek out and bond more with other married couples?

YES! that is exactly what I am doing. Its like seeing moments of my past all around me and I remember the discontentment and that unfulfillable feeling of never quiet being able to reach the one thing I really wanted to settle me down because at that point in time I didn't actually understand what it was.
Most of us have to do the journey, though it is hugely variable. Without the journey you can never reach that point of ecstasy and if your lucky enough to reach that ecstasy then the rest of the journey you left behind starts to feel unimportant.
I can see people at crossroads now and it frustrates me.
I never thought about it like this but you have hit the nail right on the head!

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/12/2010 6:33:23 AM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

If it's one thing I've learned about any sort of BDSM community (here or otherwise) is that the individuals's presence in the community does not immunize them from succumbing to the same worldview restrictions everyone else has. Each individual has different levels to which they are consensually desensitized to viewing things empathetically.

People will laugh at that which seems ridiculous or foreign to them. It is an instinctual reaction, but so is wanting to hump someone whom we find attractive in a public place. It doesn't mean we must give in to our primal instincts.

Good comedy enlightens. It addresses a genuine issue and makes people think. Cheap comedy points fingers because the target falls under something stereotypically silly. And there's no accounting for taste.

It really does take active motivation to scrutinize ourselves in moments when we would react with shocked ridicule and to address the reactions in ways that amount to more than just sweeping all the concerns about it under the rug.

Does this mean eventually everyone will see things my way?

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