Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What is this odd world that I live in?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? Page: <<   < prev  5 6 [7] 8 9   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 7:38:21 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Most people get insulted by others laughing at or about something that is personal to them. Remove the 'is personal to them' and you have comedy.

Every single thing that has been turned into a comedic laugh via movie, stand up comedy, theatre, etc......is personal to someone.

The key is to remove the personal offense and realize that......if it isn't personal, it is very likely going to get a major laugh from quite a few people.

This is why I refuse to conform to PC....I will maintain my right, whether someone is insulted or not, to laugh at humanity and the crazy, wacko, fucked up, shit we do. Because it is FUNNY!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 8:06:07 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		I can generally laugh at sex,and I laugh at a lot of my own kinks. I get excited by some truly ludicrous things.

But the old saying goes.."If you can't laugh at yourself-everyone else will!"

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 8:17:32 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Most people get insulted by others laughing at or about something that is personal to them. Remove the 'is personal to them' and you have comedy.

Every single thing that has been turned into a comedic laugh via movie, stand up comedy, theatre, etc......is personal to someone.

The key is to remove the personal offense and realize that......if it isn't personal, it is very likely going to get a major laugh from quite a few people.

This is why I refuse to conform to PC....I will maintain my right, whether someone is insulted or not, to laugh at humanity and the crazy, wacko, fucked up, shit we do. Because it is FUNNY!





All of this should be fun and if its not then we are in the wrong place. Of course some of its funny, some of it is fucking hilarious but there's a huge difference laughing at the irony of it all and pointing a finger and mocking a particular thing.
I wonder how I would of received a comment like 'I went to a slave convention and laughed my fucking ass off at the freaks'?

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 8:32:25 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I point my fingers and mock.

I know it is horrible. I do it. I point at people who wear clothes that are not age appropriate or not exactly form fitting.

In reality all of the pointing is internal and in my mind I do hear myself saying "What in the fuck are you thinking?" I know it is shameful behavior and that I am probably the only person that does this kind of shit.

All I can tell you is that what I have learned thus far from this walk through life is that the people that continually talk about "the community and the scene." Really need to find a new community and gain a completely different view or perspective on life.

_____________________________



(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 9:00:22 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz


All of this should be fun and if its not then we are in the wrong place. Of course some of its funny, some of it is fucking hilarious but there's a huge difference laughing at the irony of it all and pointing a finger and mocking a particular thing.
I wonder how I would of received a comment like 'I went to a slave convention and laughed my fucking ass off at the freaks'?


I've written three replies, all too long and all off topic.

I will just repeat my thoughts........we ALL do stuff that is freaky and funny. Some of us have less stringent lines of humour and most of all being comfortable enough in our own skin to admit that A.) we laugh at freaky funny shit B.) we seriously don't care if people find us freaky funny, because we do too.

If that is offensive or insulting to people with more delicate sensibilities, we see that as the problem of the offended or insulted person, not us. We know our intent and we are willing to live with the consequences. We also know that there are a buttload of people that are always ripe and ready to be offended and insulted. Too bad for them. We choose to live differently.

If someone wants to think I am a horrible person because, after I saw a 300# bald man walking in downtown IC on a Friday night in pink leotard, tights and tutu, I went around the corner and laughed my ass off, telling the people I was with to peek back around the building.........too bad! I am in awe of that man's comfort in his freak. I adore his freedom and willingness to do what he did. And most of all, I love that I got to see it! It was at least 5 years ago...........I am still laughing at the memory.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 3/11/2010 9:04:14 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 9:05:23 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		There is nothing different in pairing up in a bdsm sense from a vanilla one. I am sure you remember having good friends in high school that once they found a boyfriend or girlfriend all their other friends, no matter how long standing they were are suddenly less important.

It is human nature to take some time to bond with your mate and to do that it often means seeing old contacts as trite and trivial in comparison.
Eventually it balances out.

I don't hang out with many of my bdsm buddies unless they call me out for nilla activities. But in general I do like them when I am in some bdsm venue such as a munch or perv shopping.

And more importantly it was just those friends that helped me regain my balance and kept me from folding in, when my relationship ended. Yes I also had nilla people to fall back on but it was the pervy few that knew there was more to the story than just telling me to get back out there and find someone else right away.



quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

As the strength in my relationship has grown, everything to do with this world has weakened. Im not sure why that is, if its normal ?
I do want to remain involved but not feeling like this. Its like I have woken up, looked at my world and gone 'WHAT???'

Has anyone else gone through this ?


(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 9:13:04 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Hi Maria,

A friend of mine is a former SF prodomme, still lives there.  She attends bondage workshops at least a few times a month, knows the Knotty Boys, stuff like that.  She and I met on CollarMe, and dated a few times before moving Platonic.  I asked her at one point why she was using online dating when she had so many kinky contacts in her real life.

Her answer was this: she believes the people who are the most physically and emotionally attractive do not tend to become scene regulars, because they don't have to.  If they're single, they get a fair number of "opportunities" just in regular life, with partners who want to please them and so are willing to at least "try on" kink.

After she dated me, she dated a couple sleazeoids off Match.com, and finally found a great guy who was her boyfriend and Master for a long time, off PlentyofFish.  Both he and she had Fetlife profiles before meeting, but they had never contacted each other that way.

I met my prospective on PlentyofFish, and neither one of of knew the other was even into kink, we just hit it off, and she's not into "the scene" at all, I really don't know that much about it, there isn't much of a "scene" here to get into.

I've been working on a model based on the whole introversion/extroversion dynamic, and I'm guessing people heavily into the scene tend to be extroverts - it's just that when you get people in groups, ingroup/outgroup dynamics tend to develop, it happens in any group, in religious group, churches, etc., political groups - groups form when people get together to socialize with people with having similar interests, but once the group dynamic takes hold, and a particular dogma institutionalized, the group dynamic tends to take over and become an end in itself, and at that point it becomes a matter of exactly what is it that the group is doing for you?

You don't "owe it" any loyalty because it's there, if you joined initially just to meet interesting people, and that isn't happening, then yeah, do something else, form your own group even if it's just you and your SO - why do you think there's so damn many different religions and political persuasions?

My ideal of the Munch is similar to the Feast of Fools in the middle ages - it's a time to drop all the status quo, and just have fun and relate as people, 'cause we're basically all all a bunch of crazy fools anyway. Trying to invest it with some kind of "authority" just makes it a drag, all you get is another damn competitive religious/political party with a bunch of stupid rules, whether it's a bunch of people playing "kinkier than thou", or who's got the most latex or whatever.

< Message edited by xssve -- 3/11/2010 9:14:36 AM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 9:13:21 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I can generally laugh at sex,and I laugh at a lot of my own kinks. I get excited by some truly ludicrous things.

But the old saying goes.."If you can't laugh at yourself-everyone else will!"


what we do is totally unnecessary and i bet from the outside funny to watch

that being said let's party, because it feels so good

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 9:59:57 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
~ Fast Eucharist ~

I keep forgetting that quite a few people who post on CM only have CM as their 'community' benchmark and reference point. It is obvious from the comments that the thought process is that anyone posting positively about the 'community' must only have one community, a 'lifestyle' community at that, in their lives. I apologize to all of them. I'm sure they don't live their lives one dimensionally. I don't understand why they would project that onto the representations made by 'community' advocates; but I appreciate that is what is occurring.

Maybe it's my perspective that is wrong, so I'll ask the question. Does anyone posting, whether your opinion is positive or negative, only have ONE 'community' they enjoy being associated with and participate in their life?

On the matter of laughing; the first 'rule' I counseled beth about before taking her to her first club was not to laugh; specifically, not to point and laugh. It was good advice. Walking into the club there was a 6'5" ex-football linebacker dressed in a pink ballet tutu, tights, wearing a lovely feathered headdress serving drinks to a woman wearing a 'Wonder Woman' ensemble.

Later in the club's kitchen we got to chatting with them and they were great people. We shared some conversation, and ended up laughing with them. They were having fun in there own way, as were we. We continued to laugh like hell on the way home, and the story, which we tell often to people asking us what it's like going to a club, still makes us smile. We don't laugh at the tutu and 'wonder woman'. We laugh because beth says if I didn't prepare her there was no way she not only would have pointed and laughed walking into the room, but she's sure she would also not have been able to repress a loud "OH MY GOD!".

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 10:06:40 AM   
Blackburn


Posts: 78
Joined: 8/11/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
On Sunday we ran our usual fet market. As usual I laughed, chatted and embraced scene people. The day was hospitable, friendly and fun and yet under my smile I was cringing, wondering what I was doing.

As the strength in my relationship has grown, everything to do with this world has weakened. Im not sure why that is, if its normal ?
I do want to remain involved but not feeling like this. Its like I have woken up, looked at my world and gone 'WHAT???'

Has anyone else gone through this ?


We have attended events and munches etc.
I have co-hosted one.  That in itself was a chore because of petty jealousy and the previous munch runner feeling that a munch - in the neighbourhood that she had left and abandoned people by just dropping the munch when she left - was still 'hers' and we weren't allowed!

But that's just it - drama and the contrived feel of events that puts my teeth on edge.  Exhibitionism has a place, but at the risk of others it's just so uncool.  Fet clubs are becoming more the place to be seen than they are to enjoy.  It's less about the relationships or what there is to buy and more about the networking.

You get invited to more events and places, because of who you are and what you represent.  It adds kudos to an area in a way - if you go.  But it only adds the kudos for a small section of people.  Those that are new or just there for the fun - it means nothing really.  They just want to enjoy, not network.

So when the networking starts and the exhibitionism is forced in your face - where does that leave the rest?  It leaves them ridiculing an event or not returning because they didn't fit.

It's contrived and that is what makes it boring.  Dress codes - people codes - don't do this, don't touch that - don't speak, don't breath, don't stare, don't ask... rulesrulesrules and yet a community expressing the desire for free expression?

If your networking and into a business it's cool.  But it is the PTA or the Country Club, as opposed to the knitting circle.

the.dark.


I think we go through an evolution as regards BDSM gatherings. Fundamentally, I think many of us outgrow the need for this "community" because it is often more of a scrapbooking circle of kink than a real community.

I used to have a side business that kept me in regular attendance at events - and in frequent conversations with folks with little common interest. I think this hastened my disinterest in these get-togethers by rubbing my nose in the realization that kink is an insufficient basis for friendship. Of the hundreds I met, I found only enough friends to easily count on one hand.

Bottom line: you sound like someone who has outgrown your need for the scene. You are left with a vague desire to support this environment that was an important part of your life, but are finding it increasingly difficult to empathize. You have a strong, stable relationship that supplants the needs that attracted you to the scene. You have become confidant and strong and independent. Excellent!

The "scene" is easy to outgrow. People who wear their sexuality on their sleeves tend to show up as indistinguishable from their kink. At some of these events, they become one dimensional and a caricature of their particular fetish. Even on this ridiculously PC forum, many posters are having a hard time completely disagreeing with Domiguy's hyperbole: some of this is just plain fucked up funny and after a while it is impossible to ignore that. I don't worry about being judgmental. That pudgy old guy with his cock tied up cracks me up in the same way that those photos of The People of Walmart do. I don't think he is wrong, I just think, "Wow, it took some serious balls to show up like that." And I mean that literally. Dude had some SERIOUS balls.

On the other hand, I agree with Merc that attending something like Folsom could be fun - it is more of a huge Mardi Gras party with kink. It is a celebration. It is fun. I also agree with him that time with good friends who are also kinky will help keep this in perspective. Take a vacation from the vapid and vacuous parts of this and concentrate on the fun stuff :)

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 10:21:35 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I very much agree Merc! Every group/munch/party/event has its own microcosmic social structure and norms.

The big "community" dungeon in SF, The Citadel has parties that are ONLY for gay men, some are ONLY for gay women, some are ONLY for fem doms, some are ONLY for the under 35 crowd...and the list goes on. You can bet your ass each of those has VERY different people attending, some are run by control freaks, some are wild and chaotic, some are socially repessed, some aren't. All have an "in" crowd along with genuine individuals and sycophants,

There are a lot of people I ONLY see at certain events who never darken the doors at other events.

Locally, we have an under 35 group that is so rife with drama there is some new shitstorm every day, another group the worst drama is the damn sling is taken. Other communities I bet the under 35 group is the only sane one in town.

Its like those idiots who think "old guard" was some monolithic group of behaviors....this bar was about piss, another about fisting, another one was for old timers, and still another was alll stand and model.

Which reminds me....bitching about bdsm all being about stand and model was OLD when I entered the scene....and I am sure there was a leather bar in the 1960s where some grizzled old timer was standing around bitchin about how bdsm has gone to hell with all these newbies...

I avoid about 80% of the local scene events...there are people I never see who are just as active as I am because the attend events I don't. Smaller communities don't have the critical mass for groups that cater to those seeking something deeper and more grounded, some of are lucky that we can find those things "in the scene" and if I was stuck in some place that didn't I wouldn't be as active.

Or we could just be like Merc and only invite over those special people you love to be around and make time for! Going to see you guys a lot next month I got a second teaching gig in LA next month.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 10:55:18 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Aileen, This entire topic was started by me saying that I feel jaded with the scene. I never said You need public venues to enjoy your kink. Neither did I say, you are not still the same person in your living room and so Im not sure why you said that?? This topic was not about being bigger or better than anyone else and neither was it about belittling those that don't go out on the scene. Threads deviate but I never once took it in that direction.
No I am not taking this personally but I found your post insulting to any of us that have had the desire to put on fet gear and go and scene in a club.

Thanks LT you made a lot of sense.



I'm sorry that I seemed to have misinterpreted your words. I based what I said here...
quote:

You don't need public venues to enjoy your kink. You are still the same person in your living room. Or at least you should be.

because of what you said here...
quote:

I went there when I had nothing else. If I had, had no BDSM clubs, munches, workshops, performances I would of been left with exactly nothing to do with any of this. I did this because it liberated me, gave me the freedom that I needed and in return I had to accept and tolerate just about every other fetish known to man. More than anything else, it was my tolerance that gave me so much freedom.


That gave me the impression that your interactions were club related or nothing at all. Apologies as this seems to not be the case.
I am the last to say that my kink is better than yours. All I'm saying is that people act differently in a public scene than they would in private. My opinion.
You're allowed to be jaded with the scene, but I'm not? Just because we express it differently or are jaded for different reasons doesn't make one right and the other wrong. I go to clubs. I go out of curiosity. I go for the slight chance that we may learn a new knot or see a new toy used. I go to watch people. I do not go to show that I'm better than any one else. I'm sorry if I find it amusing when a man in a dress asks my man if he wants to wrestle. It's funny to me. Should certain things be off limits? For all I know...the dress man laughed his ass off at me because I was in jeans. Good for him if he did.

_____________________________



(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 11:19:57 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes I don't laugh. sometimes I feel sorry for them. Sometimes I do laugh, it all depends.
I think it's funny that any human being feels they are above being laughed at.

Right now I am laughing at  the ~Fast Eucharist~ at the top of Merc's post. It has the look of divine wisdom being dispensed.

Thats funny to Me


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 11:19:59 AM   
brainiacsub


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/11/2007
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Hi Maria,

A friend of mine is a former SF prodomme, still lives there.  She attends bondage workshops at least a few times a month, knows the Knotty Boys, stuff like that.  She and I met on CollarMe, and dated a few times before moving Platonic.  I asked her at one point why she was using online dating when she had so many kinky contacts in her real life.

Her answer was this: she believes the people who are the most physically and emotionally attractive do not tend to become scene regulars, because they don't have to. If they're single, they get a fair number of "opportunities" just in regular life, with partners who want to please them and so are willing to at least "try on" kink.
After she dated me, she dated a couple sleazeoids off Match.com, and finally found a great guy who was her boyfriend and Master for a long time, off PlentyofFish.  Both he and she had Fetlife profiles before meeting, but they had never contacted each other that way.



Hello Again! What your prodomme friend said is absolutely true for me as well. As a matter of fact, being a scene regular has become a deal breaker. I find that I am most compatible with people who not only just fit in with the vanilla world, but are capable of thriving in it. On the flip side, if the vanilla world knew what was in my heart and head when it comes to sexuality and relationships, I am quite certain that I would be cast out to live among the freaks.


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 11:24:45 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Sometimes I don't laugh. sometimes I feel sorry for them. Sometimes I do laugh, it all depends.
I think it's funny that any human being feels they are above being laughed at.

Right now I am laughing at  the ~Fast Eucharist~ at the top of Merc's post. It has the look of divine wisdom being dispensed.

Thats funny to Me


Jeff


From what I have read on these forums........and seen in, OMG......real life........some people seem to believe they are divine.

All I know........the group BDSM events/clubs I have been to did NOT leave me aching for more. One was in the divine city of angels.....haven't a clue of the name, I was more focused on the company I was with. And the other was in Kansas City....a private soiree.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 11:43:46 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Sometimes I don't laugh. sometimes I feel sorry for them. Sometimes I do laugh, it all depends.
I think it's funny that any human being feels they are above being laughed at.

Right now I am laughing at  the ~Fast Eucharist~ at the top of Merc's post. It has the look of divine wisdom being dispensed.

Thats funny to Me


Jeff


From what I have read on these forums........and seen in, OMG......real life........some people seem to believe they are divine.




~ Fast Eucharist ~


Have you ever noticed that many of the people that really get into "the community" are often the strangest of folk? Also when they use the word "community" They are not talking about all of the "other" communities that we might be a part of. They are talking about the bullshit fet and kink community.

Also I have noticed that many of the same people that continually bolster the worth of the community seem to have a very strong and fairly flawed thought process. These are the very same people that would not fair well in a relationship where their ideas and thoughts might be questioned. So they cower behind bdsm because they are incapable of maintaining any other type of relationship.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/11/2010 11:45:39 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 12:07:32 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff
Right now I am laughing at  the ~Fast Eucharist~ at the top of Merc's post. It has the look of divine wisdom being dispensed.

Thats funny to Me
Jeff
'Fast Reply' all the time just seems so mundane and unimaginative. Didn't think of the divine in using the word, mainly due to not believing in one, or many for the Polytheists crowd. Mainly a reflection back on my alter boy training; the 'Eucharist in the form of 'communion' symbolizing the 'community' belief that a piece of bread transforms into the body of Christ.

'Eucharist - Communion - Community'

I thought it funny too. As I do the new appreciation that a lot of people live very sheltered lives and are involved with a community of one.

Thanks Jeff




< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/11/2010 12:09:35 PM >

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 12:09:29 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have a community of at least two.

DG completes Me

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 12:11:16 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

So they cower behind bdsm because they are incapable of maintaining any other type of relationship.


Just a random thought, is that better or worse than someone who cowers behind a facade of assholeness no matter how insightful that assholeness might be?

I love ya dude but I just had to call you on that one! That was one of the reasons I set aside my old name of "CrappyDom" was it was the same sort of facade, I was hiding behind my own sarcasm and I didn't have to own it.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 3/11/2010 12:13:27 PM >

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/11/2010 12:12:07 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to bring a small piece of what I said on the other side.  The whole thing is about finding balance and knowing what is most important.  What you've got in front of you, OP, is of more substance.  It doesn't mean the other stuff isn't fun, but when you combine the two, you find what's the best fit for you.  It's like anything else in life.  You take what you want and you leave the rest.

I'd also like to express some random thoughts that came to Me while reading this thread.  It always surprises Me when folks ever think that folks involved in 'the scene' are going to be any different than any sub culture of society.  That means, yes, you're going to find all kinds of different people.  Yes, you'll find your share of drama queens, socially inept folks, and just plain assholes.  Anybody who thinks that they are only out there in the public BDSM crowd are sadly mistaken.  Just like you are going to find the same ones here on this site.  There are one or two folks right here on this thread that it's no surprise to Me that they don't function well in social situations.  I know..... I know.  It's always because everyone else is such a jerk.  It couldn't possibly have anything to do with you.

The thing that I find ironic about half of the comments that came out about how some just don't think they'd enjoy being in the company of 'those' public BDSM type people, at least half of them have said that I'd be a great person to grab a cup of coffee with, like My sense of humor, or some other random thing.  At times, I tend to think the negative perceptions outweigh the positives. 

One quick comment about the Folsom Street Fair.  No, it's not a mandatory thing or something that you have to do in order to fulfill whatever.  At the same time, it is something of an adventure.  It's a chance to be exposed to some things that you might not be otherwise.  Sure, there are some people out there who wouldn't get a kick out of it, but I sure did.  Just appreciating some of the work that some of the attendees put into their costumes alone was great.  I have nothing but praise for the folks who spent all of that time and effort putting charity booths together and the hard work that they went through before, during, and after the event to provide resources to the community.  If nothing else, even if you wouldn't like the event, I'm pretty sure there's something in San Fransisco that you'll enjoy.  I had a great time just looking at the architecture. 

There were good points made about being involved in the local scene.  Yes, if you want to learn topping skills, and you're a hands on person like Me, there's no better way to go.  Some of those show boats that people protested loudly about really do know what they're doing AND they're willing to teach you.  If you're there to learn something, do you really care if the look like models in the outfits they came in?  Are you more concerned with their appearance or what they might be able to teach you?  How do you know they aren't just fun people to hang out with?

So much of this thread has been about the negatives.  Very few have popped up to mention any of the benefits.  For those that did, I'll be making a couple of trips to LA Myself this month. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 140
Page:   <<   < prev  5 6 [7] 8 9   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What is this odd world that I live in? Page: <<   < prev  5 6 [7] 8 9   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109