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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:32:02 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Still, Tigresse, I must say it's a little weird when people make their most intimate relationships into something like a hobby.

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:34:35 AM   
Smutmonger


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when I see people who are so totally obsessed with this-that they spend all of thier free time doing kink related things..all of thier friends are into the same stuff etc...I'd hardly call it "sane."

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:34:44 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
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Status: offline 		I like the BDSMers who just do it on the weekends

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( imho )

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:39:32 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I see a lot of those who posted points. However, I am a little uncomfortabe about making fun of people. So what if they look ridiculous? So what if I have no place wearing a mini skirt? So what if she looks rediculous in her bustier and hes in a cage? So what,so what, so what?  What about leaving your judgements a the door? What about acceptance?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 3/10/2010 9:40:31 AM >

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:41:14 AM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

DG, I seriously don't think all people involved are crazy. I do think it is a lifestyle choice that some people make, to make it much more important, a bigger part of their lives. Much like some bikers, horse obsessed people, and some fishermen.........


I agree. Not everyone is crazy.

Howeveer, Oh Lattie poo, it seems that far too often those people that seem to make this thang a "bigger part of their lives" all seem to be fairly off of there fucking rockers?

That is what I have found in my walk through bdsm...I also wear those disposable slippers that you can find in many hospitals so I can just throw them away so I don't track any of this bdsm shit into my Domicile.

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:43:38 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Some are just explaining why they're not part of the "community" thang, that's all.

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:45:28 AM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
So again, if I want a good laugh, to people watch or an std I will then go to Folsum or Burning man or my local dungeon or club.




This is quite inaccurate. So because people go to a dungeon they have an STD? Theres no alcohol and the condoms are in jars ready and available and most clubs in other cities are no penetration.

I dont mind a good joke. I suppose if it was said about all people who drink beer in bars, it would be funnier..

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:46:38 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
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Status: offline 		I LIKE having a life that is peaceful and seperate from bdsm. I like using it as an "accesory". I've tried the "immersion lifestyle" thing in the past-and it was one of the most physchotic things I have ever experienced. Part time is the way to go for me.

Others probably expeience it differently-I am just not wired for it.

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:47:42 AM   
Jeffff


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Status: offline 		I think any obsession is probably a bad thing for a person.

I love to fish, I love to play music, I love to read, I love to beat women till they cry. none of those things overrides any other portion of my life.

This just happens to be a BDSM message board. It could just as easily be golf or bowling or knitting.

I try to be very careful in my life to confuse activity with achievement. This activity, like any other is a part of who I am, it does not define Me.

Jeff

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:51:07 AM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I think any obsession is probably a bad thing for a person.

I love to fish, I love to play music, I love to read, I love to beat women till they cry. none of those things overrides any other portion of my life.

This just happens to be a BDSM message board. It could just as easily be golf or bowling or knitting.

I try to be very careful in my life to confuse activity with achievement. This activity, like any other is a part of who I am, it does not define Me.

Jeff


Well yes,most addictions are harmful unless its exercise or latin dance or charity work....

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:51:43 AM   
domiguy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
So again, if I want a good laugh, to people watch or an std I will then go to Folsum or Burning man or my local dungeon or club.




This is quite inaccurate. So because people go to a dungeon they have an STD? Theres no alcohol and the condoms are in jars ready and available and most clubs in other cities are no penetration.

I dont mind a good joke. I suppose if it was said about all people who drink beer in bars, it would be funnier..


You are horribly mistaken. Everyone that goes to a dungeon has an std.

They are so creepy that man has not yet advanced to the point where they have developed the condom technology necessary to combat their level of ick.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/10/2010 9:55:50 AM >

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 9:54:07 AM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
So again, if I want a good laugh, to people watch or an std I will then go to Folsum or Burning man or my local dungeon or club.




This is quite inaccurate. So because people go to a dungeon they have an STD? Theres no alcohol and the condoms are in jars ready and available and most clubs in other cities are no penetration.

I dont mind a good joke. I suppose if it was said about all people who drink beer in bars, it would be funnier..


Yes. Everyone that goes to a dungeon has an std.


Yes and especially those that go to Folsom or burning man. That whore you fucked last told me she went to burning Man. Are you having any burning when you take a whiz?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 3/10/2010 9:55:10 AM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 10:00:20 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Why do you think they call it "Burning Man?"....The first people that participated all ended up at their doctor's office. The doctor asked them "Are you experiencing any discomfort when you urinate?"

They all responded, "It's burning man."

And voila! history was born.

Everyone that goes to a dungeon or a bdsm workshop has syphilis.

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 10:07:17 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Ya know 24/7 BDSM really isnt. People still have to work, clean their house, do their laundry and live all the parts of their life that dont involve cuffs and chains and whips. One dom looks much like the next when hes sitting with a beer with his hand in his pants watching the T.V. and hoggin the remote.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 3/10/2010 10:08:46 AM >

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Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 10:51:59 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

Merc I understand your point. I guess the last paragraph of your post reflects an attitude that chafes a little at me. I do not believe that the NYC or LA experience makes everyone that experiences it, more worldly or gives them a guaranteed advantage in anyway. Nor do I believe that a trip to Folsom is a 'must'. To me, and it may just be me, that reflects a certain arrogance that says the LA, NYC, Folsom experience automatically makes someone........more or better. And I just do not believe that to be so. Not for everyone.


It was the arrogance of opportunity not experience. It was my opportunity. I point it out because coming from a different one, in some of the more remote locations, my opinion had a good chance of coming from a different perspective.

When the bank robber Willie Sutton was asked why he robed banks he said; "that's were the money is". NYC, LA, and although I've never lived there SF is where there is more opportunity to move on to another local 'community'. That's a fact - not arrogance.

Considering the statement that everyone "should" make a trip to Folsom as a "must" experience is an interpretation problem and again, not representing a position of "more or better".

I love the community of people I have in mind as a reference because there is no pretense. Not to represent there is no pretense in the 'community'; but I don't hang out with the pretentious, the self absorbed, and standard bearers of any 'one true way' sub culture. They exist but they are not whom I have in mind when I say "I love the community!".

My sentiment is similar from the pleasure you derive with your farm, livestock, jobs, and kids. Individually considered they may take on the image of a hobby to those ignorant of the way you live; but they only serve as parts of the collage that makes up your life. How the hell could you enjoy mucking out a horse stall? What's the 'fun' of cleaning up after a muddy dog? Why the hell would I want to get involved raising kids? I'm sure you would just smile shake your head and walk away from such accusing, baiting questions. As do I most often when having my involvement in 'lifestyle community' similarly challenged.

Just like those examples don't speak for your experience or personal pleasure and satisfaction that come from your participation in your activity preferences; the "theatre of a club" does not speak to mine. I enjoy the complete experience, which may or may not include 'theatre'. When I go there and meet people, I don't assume I know anything about them, and I've met and talked to them in person.

I think that is clearly distinguished by the many who have posted here and are convinced that what has been posted on an on-line message board completely represents them. Although my problem relating could be that I simply can't relate to those coming from the perspective that their CM and other on-line personae are all they have in their lives. I can't think of any other cause to believe otherwise.

There is no "scene"; there are people. I enjoy being with people not limited to those who only agree with me and how I live my life. The reason I prefer to be with people socially in all the referenced lifestyles, in leather, naked, or putting on 'theater' is that I feel comfortable doing so in that environment. I feel similarly comfortable in the theater of a charity event costumed in a tux, a theatrical business meeting costumed in a suit, a soap opera version of theater at a family picnic costumed in jeans and a tee shirt. Taken independently those scenes don't tell the story of the 'play'. Who but the clueless would think they did? Yet - look at the positions taken on this thread who base their absolute and correct, one true way, opinion of the lifestyle and the people who participate in it on their limited experience; worse yet, whose only experience is from internet sources.

Its gotten me negative feedback before but I stand behind my position enough to state it again. A person's closed minded arrogance and disdain against real time lifestyle communities and people who participate in them is inversely proportional to their real time experience in it. It serves their personal rationalization to avoid what they don't have the courage or ability to experience.

You bring up what you've learned and what you don't need to learn. I respect and appreciate that you speak from your experience and perspective. Not directed to you, but from my experience in general; the most important thing that I've learned, is that the clueless are often the best examples to use and to learn what not to be and what not to do. I collect examples and learn more every day.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/10/2010 11:24:01 AM >

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 10:58:32 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Still, Tigresse, I must say it's a little weird when people make their most intimate relationships into something like a hobby.


Oh I agree. I am just trying to see all facets of the discussion.

It's like.....I adore riding and think of my horses as extended family members. I ride frequently. BUT, I know people that spend every single free moment of their lives with other horse people, riding, going to horse related events, spending thousands and thousands of dollars on horse related items, decorating their house in horse themes.

I find that........weird.

I prefer to experience a huge wide variety of life stuff. I want to lead a BALANCED LIFE. I don't want to limit myself to kinky activities or to spending time with mostly kink friendly people. Just as I don't want to spend my time around horse obsessed people. I enjoy spending my time around people that are more diverse and balanced in their interests.

I don't think the bulk of those horse obsessed people are crazy.....weird yes.......crazy no. Similarly with people that are more involved in a local kink community.


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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 11:37:14 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I see a lot of those who posted points. However, I am a little uncomfortabe about making fun of people. So what if they look ridiculous? So what if I have no place wearing a mini skirt? So what if she looks rediculous in her bustier and hes in a cage? So what,so what, so what?  What about leaving your judgements a the door? What about acceptance?


Your post misses the point... in a BIG way.  The majority of comments here have not been non-accepting or judgemental (i.e., righteousness), and to be blunt, this line of knee-jerk, politically correct thinking is a HUGE negative byproduct of the kink-collective (Star Trek 'Borg' reference for the 'Sex Trekkies').  The majority here have not deemed the kink community/scene illegal, demanded its abolishment, condemned those who partake of their kink-community, stated people are not free to do whatever flips their respective bagel, or whatever.  What you've witnessed here is PREFERENCE and the REASONING for said preference.  Nothing more.  That is not "judement"... again, just PREFERENCE; and one that does not include sharing some kink-utopian view.  JUDGEMENT IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY.  Judgement to damn that which is wrong (rape, abuse, tearing the wings off small insects, etc.), and judgement to embrace that which is wonderful (a new born, a puppy, Haagen-Dazs, etc.); all are based on JUDGEMENT... i.e., thinking, reasoning, and discernment.

If you like strawberry ice cream, but dislike mint-chip ice cream ('cause you ain't crazy about mint or chips), are you being "judgemental" against mint-chip ice cream?  No... you're simply stating (i) your personal preference, and (ii)  WHY you hold said preference.  Again, this knee-jerk politically correct cry of "acceptance" and/or "judgement" has always been an extremely off-putting byproduct of this kink-collective-group-think for me personally.  There's a difference... a BIG difference between that which is based in self-righteousness verses mere preference for what someone has determined to be outside of their own personal tastes as a normal, thinking, discerning adult.

Note:  None of the above is intended as an attack on you personally, rather, it's simply a reply to the "acceptance/judgement" commentary.




< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 3/10/2010 11:43:07 AM >

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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 11:39:44 AM   
LaTigresse


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Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Now Merc, you are almost making the jump that to say because a person does not get involved in a local BDSM community, their only outlet and experience is on here. I believe that would be a very wrong statement.

I can go back to the horse analogy. Just because I do not get involved with my local horse communities, does not mean I do not ride or know how to ride various disciplines, using various types of tack and tools. It does not make me a lesser rider that I prefer to not show or attend horse fairs. Just because I do not enjoy showing or attending a string of horse fairs does not make them invalid. Nor would I infer that I think they are, just because I do not care for them.

I think that both scene loving and non scene loving people like to dig at one another over the subject. Those that do not care for it comment on the comedy of it, etc..... Those that love it like to think those that don't are less 'real' or whatever. Either way, it is defense and offense. I see neither as more valid on the whole. I see individuals making valid personal choices for themselves and their lives. Doing what works best for them. I also believe that it is the inability to imagine living as those that make different choices, aka lack of empathy, that causes the snide attacks and defenses.

I see both as valid. Given the perfect opportunity, I would attend Folsom. At this point in my life it is not a simple thing and other opportunities that are more appealing and easier to arrange end up taking priority. Given an appealing local group, I might attend more kink oriented gatherings. At this point in my life an appealing local group has not come to my attention and I don't give a damn enough to try to create one. I do not feel less kink anything I want to be, for not gathering with a bunch of kink people. I can get freaky kinky without hanging out with other freaky kinky people.

I also believe that there are individuals that are more geared towards needing to socialize. I live with one. Then there are individuals that really don't give a shit enough to seek out many social gatherings, I am one. Because the social butterfly I live with likes to go out and hang out with friends does not make him a more valid anything than I. Nor does the fact that I prefer to stay home on a Friday night make me any more special.

It's all just personal preference really.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 3/10/2010 11:41:02 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 11:47:06 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

CONTRIVED, for lack of better word. For some, I think it's simply a way to explore (at hyper-speed) something they've recently discovered or denied about themselves, where for others, it's a way to "belong", so to speak... to a group, as many have a need to feel they "belong" somewhere.


I agree; those coming to "explore" are fundamentally insecure.



Unfortunately, my personal experience has been that said insecurity is not limited to newbies.



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RE: What is this odd world that I live in? - 3/10/2010 11:53:22 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I see a lot of those who posted points. However, I am a little uncomfortabe about making fun of people. So what if they look ridiculous? So what if I have no place wearing a mini skirt? So what if she looks rediculous in her bustier and hes in a cage? So what,so what, so what?  What about leaving your judgements a the door? What about acceptance?


Your post misses the point... in a BIG way.  The majority of comments here have not been non-accepting or judgemental (i.e., righteousness), and to be blunt, this line of knee-jerk, politically correct thinking is a HUGE negative byproduct of the kink-collective (Star Trek 'Borg' reference for the 'Sex Trekkies').  The majority here have not deemed the kink community/scene illegal, demanded its abolishment, condemned those who partake of their kink-community, stated people are not free to do whatever flips their respective bagel, or whatever.  What you've witnessed here is PREFERENCE and the REASONING for said preference.  Nothing more.  That is not "judement"... again, just PREFERENCE; and one that does not include sharing some kink-utopian view.  JUDGEMENT IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY.  Judgement to damn that which is wrong (rape, abuse, tearing the wings off small insects, etc.), and judgement to embrace that which is wonderful (a new born, a puppy, Haagen-Dazs, etc.); all are based on JUDGEMENT... i.e., thinking, reasoning, and discernment.

If you like strawberry ice cream, but dislike mint-chip ice cream ('cause you ain't crazy about mint or chips), are you being "judgemental" against mint-chip ice cream?  No... you're simply stating (i) your personal preference, and (ii)  WHY you hold said preference.  Again, this knee-jerk politically correct cry of "acceptance" and/or "judgement" has always been an extremely off-putting byproduct of this kink-collective-group-think for me personally.  There's a difference... a BIG difference between that which is based in self-righteousness verses mere preference for what someone has determined to be outside of their own personal tastes as a normal, thinking, discerning adult.

Note:  None of the above is intended as an attack on you personally, rather, it's simply a reply to the "acceptance/judgement" commentary.




Im hardly part of the lifestyle. I do go to workshops and clubs on occasion. Usually with a boyfriend or just to watch.

What I have trouble with are those who come to criticise when they have had no experience.The OP is criticising an observation.  An absurdety which she has been a part of. I do admit feeling that at times. But its fun and amusing.

I admit I have a knee jerk reaction to judgments made without knowlege.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 3/10/2010 11:54:42 AM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 60
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