UniqueRaven
Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009 From: Austin, TX Status: offline
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Like others here, i have always felt that slave is "what i am" and the expression of that is a private act between myself and my Owner/Master. i've never felt that it was something to be acted out amongst others "just for fun." i've gone to clubs, groups, dungeons, etc., with my ex Master - and found that really, if i'm not feeling that intimate connection with someone, it's only so much theatre. It just never did anything for me other than be entertaining - or, during the times i was beaten on display - i was the one doing the entertaining. This reminds me of the experience i had in NYC with my ex Master that kind of "shut us off" us going out for public play anymore. We were at Paddles, and he had me hung up in the back room and was using a flogger to beat clothespins off of my breasts. Behind him had to have been at least 20 single guys that were there just watching - i know they would have loved to have been wanking too but that wasn't allowed. They kept pushing in closer, and closer, to where several times my ex had to tell them to just "back off already" so he could swing his arm. He had his back to them, i was facing them - and all i could see was eyes, all these eyes watching me during what was a very intimate moment between myself and my Master. It was very creepy and i had a sense of being consumed in some way. Now i know others would have totally found that scene hot. But i didn't, and my ex found it annoying. There was no "fun" in this. It was theatre, for show, and for us, unauthentic. i much prefer the intimacy, and the privacy that my quiet service to my Owner allows - and best serve a man who enjoys that himself. It's quite beautiful, really. So no, i would not say i'm part of that "world" - i'm simply me, and this is how i am, and it is for my Owner, in peaceful, happy servitude.
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"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz) My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com
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