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Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 9:52:43 AM   
husband4fun


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		Does anyone here have any advice on how to encourage a vanilla wife to explore more? I've been with my wife for 10 years now, and she's occasionally humored me in the past by attending bdsm/fetish parties and events, but I could never really get her to participate; lately she won't even go along as a tourist. Needless to say, my own urges are not fading away, and she doesn't seem open to experimenting at home. My wife is extremely attractive, a quality person and a great mom to our two young sons, but this gap between my kinky side and her vanilla nature is causing me a lot of frustration. I'd sincerely like to hear what any of you think might help.

S.
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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 9:54:47 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly I feel bad for her...My advice is to leave her :)

< Message edited by divi -- 3/10/2010 9:55:28 AM >

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 9:56:27 AM   
husband4fun


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		Ouch. That's pretty harsh, considering we have a very good relationship in most other respects.

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 9:57:41 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Darling harsh is you coming here asking for advice.. I seriously hopes that right now your wife is packing her shit up now

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 9:58:22 AM   
husband4fun


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		Yup, this is really helpful, as I expected.

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 9:58:43 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

Darling harsh is you coming here asking for advice.. I seriously hopes that right now your wife is packing her shit up now. I mean did you know before you got married that you werent compatible



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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 9:59:43 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm here to help hehe :)

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I really could use a wish right now

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:00:19 AM   
husband4fun


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		When we first met she expressed an interest in attending events and thought the scene was interesting and cool, but she got turned off by the overly aggressive doms we kept meeting.

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:01:22 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ok how is this. You have a wife and 2 children. Man up and do what is best for the children.

I am sure your kids don't really care if daddy is kinky. When you had children your own personal happiness became secondary.

You love you wife?... man up dude.

Jeff

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:02:50 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		aww Jeff.. that was so sweet

yah man up dude dont be a douche !

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:02:52 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		Kink is optional-what else do you do to encourage your wife?

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:04:30 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Nothing says love like date night at the dungeon lol

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:04:37 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Husband4fun, your profile states that you are looking for encounters and that your wife doesn't mind, that she sometimes goes to events with you. Here you are saying your wife has no interest in even being a tourist to these events. This makes me question whether your wife is aware of your seeking encounters. It kind of makes one wonder what your situation really is. Would you be willing to let your wife talk to someone who considered being someone you have encounter's with so that they know for sure she is aware?

You cannot force this upon anyone. If they are aware of your desires and have been willing to go to events and still are not interested, I doubt anything you can do can change that.






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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:07:11 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: husband4fun

When we first met she expressed an interest in attending events and thought the scene was interesting and cool, but she got turned off by the overly aggressive doms we kept meeting.


You don't have to involve events or others. This could simply be between the two of you. If she isn't interested in just being involved with kinky things with you, then she isn't interested. Other dom's have nothing to do with it.


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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:09:20 AM   
husband4fun


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		Well, she occasionally still attends the rare event with me if it's thrown by good friends of mine in the scene. I thought I'd checked the "friends only" box under what I'm seeking, but maybe I didn't save the profile correctly. I've fixed that, because I'm not looking to cheat on my wife.

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:10:26 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		too late lol

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( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

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RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:11:09 AM   
husband4fun


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		Divi, your screen name should probably be "Cruella" instead LOL

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:12:40 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		yours should be
husband4funwhilewifeisathomewiththe2kids or if thats too long it should be.. wifethrewmeoutandimlivingintheminivan

adds: they maybe too long

< Message edited by divi -- 3/10/2010 10:13:04 AM >

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:13:31 AM   
husband4fun


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline 		I won't end up living in a van. We still have open communication about this, I'm just seeking advice from people with more experience.

(in reply to divi)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Married to vanilla? - 3/10/2010 10:14:23 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Was a joke :)

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

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Profile   Post #: 20
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