quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

The percentage of those who have been abused is the same whether you are a member of a church, a bowling league, a book club or bdsm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Never been abused, had a wonderful childhood, and grew up with a deep, deep-rooted need to be slave - a need i knew about when i was very, very young.

One thing i wonder about is if this "lifestyle" of ours just allows people to be more open about their previous abuse and psychological issues. One thing i've learned and realized over the years is that everyone has issues in this world of some sort or another - we as BDSM-ers don't have the market cornered on this.

i did Real Estate for many years and the more i went into other people's houses, the more normal i began to feel about myself. There are some pretty sick tickets out there that have nothing to do with BDSM. Honestly, often the more "proper" the family the more skeletons in the closet - i know, because i saw them. Real Estate agents are actually a lot like therapists in a way, and we definitely have to hide a lot of secrets for our clients.

i tend to group this with the line of thought that says we're more "special" or "enlightened" in some way just because we do BDSM - i don't agree with that, it's just one path that people choose. Yes there are studies that show higher intelligence among BDSM folks, but i still don't see that as making us any more unique than any others - i think we're just more open about what we talk about, and abuse falls into that as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nslavu

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
i tend to group this with the line of thought that says we're more "special" or "enlightened" in some way just because we do BDSM - i don't agree with that, it's just one path that people choose. Yes there are studies that show higher intelligence among BDSM folks, but i still don't see that as making us any more unique than any others - i think we're just more open about what we talk about, and abuse falls into that as well.

I agree with what you say and generally like your posts. I do think "enlightenment" is something that one can be more or less enlightened.

Do you have these sources/studies that show intelligence differential. I think this would be interesting to review.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nslavu

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
i tend to group this with the line of thought that says we're more "special" or "enlightened" in some way just because we do BDSM - i don't agree with that, it's just one path that people choose. Yes there are studies that show higher intelligence among BDSM folks, but i still don't see that as making us any more unique than any others - i think we're just more open about what we talk about, and abuse falls into that as well.

I agree with what you say and generally like your posts. I do think "enlightenment" is something that one can be more or less enlightened.

Do you have these sources/studies that show intelligence differential. I think this would be interesting to review.

i actually got that information from a friend on the board who was asked to take part in some studies - i'll ask him for the specific researcher he worked with and see if i can get you some citations.

quote:

Abuse here. Eventually provoking abuse was the only way I could get attention. Puberty hit around the same time and just as the Sleeping Princess woke up and fell in love with the first person she saw, I formed a few inter-weaved associations that could never be unbound. I'm not complaining. I survived albeit with poor confidence. Play acting this stuff is, as the cliche goes, a way of reclaiming and owning the hurt by making it fun.
Disclaimer: My experience only. Everyone's journey is different.

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I dunno what Raven just said, but I just keep staring at her pic because she is sooo beautiful..............and I'm not even GAY!! lolol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I dunno what Raven just said, but I just keep staring at her pic because she is sooo beautiful..............and I'm not even GAY!! lolol

Seconded. Although, her pictures don't do her justice. She is so much more beautiful in person.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

LOL

well at least I didn't step on someone's cock (speakin of abuse) when I said that...whew.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

I have been pondering this for a while now so i'd like to ask you here. It seems that everyone in the lifestyle that i've become good friends with has suffered from abuse in the past. I'm not exception. This got me thinking, is there a link between BDSM and abuse? Like are people who have suffered like this more likely to become more involved in the lifestyle? And i know the lifestyle isn't abusive at all, this was just something i was pondering. Please offer your opinions.

quote:

What I think is more appropriately linkable, is one's awareness of their self and a desire to fully experience that through safe and trusted relationships. As Raven said it's a person path and that, I think, involves an evolutionary awareness of self that generally is more successful and personal in bdsm. (just my observation and experience, I have no scientific data to support it)

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

What I think is more appropriately linkable, is one's awareness of their self and a desire to fully experience that through safe and trusted relationships. As Raven said it's a person path and that, I think, involves an evolutionary awareness of self that generally is more successful and personal in bdsm. (just my observation and experience, I have no scientific data to support it)

possibly in 'lifestyle' they are more apt to admit to abuse openly.. other outlets are not available or have become exhausted (professionally or personally) and they are more likely to 'tell' here/in this arena. More like a path to a path. It doesn't concern me unless someone (if I find out) is taken advantage of in such a situation (we all know what that could imply). I don't believe those with abuse issues should access this type of venue but hey, I am not God nor a big sister at the gates of kink, so, is their life.

All should wander their own way, left, right, straight, narrow, wide, up or down. It isn't the occupation of anyone (until therapy by psychiatrists/psychologist is available online 24/7) to give judement unless it effects their immediate life or causes a present/active danger.

We want to say 'who cares?' to some situations then all of a sudden we act like we are Mother fucking Theresa-back patting in another Can't have both, but it depends on the person (just as it is in everyday life). Each requires sensifuckingtivity. *see, I got typing tourettes today, frustration-fucking swearing a lot

quote:

It doesn't concern me unless someone (if I find out) is taken advantage of in such a situation (we all know what that could imply). I don't believe those with abuse issues should access this type of venue but hey, I am not God nor a big sister at the gates of kink, so, is their life.