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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
... don't disagree, it doesn't "feel" like submission to me in those times when it is really easy for me. It just feels like me being me. And while that is fine, and i am actually doing what the other person is wanting me to do, it doesn't feed the part of me that needs to feel like i am "actually" submitting. That part only gets fed when i go past where i would go on my own, whether that be in levels of pain play or something else.

Submission comes in different forms.... I wrote this awhile back and something for you to consider.....

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I see alot of individuals focus on the idea that submission is to be distasteful or hard. That is not always the case. In my thought process... the acts of Submission are three basic groupings.

Passionate - These are the actions/behaviors a submissive takes great personally enjoyment in doing them. If able to, a submissive would choose to do them often.

Indifference - These are the actions/behaviors a submissive takes that provide no measurable affect upon them, emotionally or otherwise. Sometimes these are just mindless habits.

Tolerate - These are the actions/behaviors a submissive takes mental and emotional effort to carry out. There is no emotional pleasure directly from the act/behavior. The only pleasure comes from the fulfillment gained in pleasing the Dominant in doing the act/behavior. These are often the very actions/behaviors that a submissive will not choose to do.

There needs to be a balance between the three. To many Acts of Tolerance can eventually lead to distress with the submissives emotional state. It is actually the Acts of Passion that balance this from happening. Now every person is different and even the individual will be in different states that would deteremine where the balance is.

However, the submission is to the authority of doing which acts and when! The good dominants seeks to maintain a balance... whatever the balance happens to be. Some will micro-manage othes are more macro in their approach. Take note, that submissives are either like to be micro-managed or macroly managed as well. So finding a compatiability in this regard is rather important to say the least!
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In the end.... I think within the context of your relationship... you and your Dominant to be will need to find the balance that enriches the relationship... which very much another thread (grin)

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Knight,

Thank you for posting this. There is so much here to think about, i will have to ponder it a while before i can reply to this the way that i think it requires. Thank you for giving me so much to think about.

heartfelt

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

(chuckling) i hadn't noticed, i think some more pictures are needed.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

(chuckling) i hadn't noticed, i think some more pictures are needed.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm or... when we make trip to vegas...you can come by and make a more personal observation ;)

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ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

lol, well it will have to be soon, i am moving to North Carolina in June.