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RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/5/2006 4:07:34 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce
That, and I thought the desk scene was nothing short of hot.

I remember the impact that had on me the first time I saw the movie. I turned to the friend I was there with (a top) and said "I want HER job!"

A few people around me heard, and there was a lot of empathetic giggling. Must have been a big perv crowd in the theatre that day!

It was great to see that in a mainstream movie. I think it will probably go down on the famous "I first knew I was kinky when I saw..." list for many people.

Cin

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Post #: 41

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/6/2006 6:43:14 PM

scratchingpost

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ohhh by the end of the thread can someone make a running list of all the titles so that we can have a movie fest? would sound like so much fun

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Post #: 42

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/6/2006 10:06:54 PM

ZenrageTheKeeper

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Two words: Mary Poppins

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Post #: 43

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/6/2006 10:08:44 PM

keptcaged

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Joined: 4/23/2005
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I was a very young lad and one of the first movies to get my sub side twitchin was "Abott and Costello Meet the Mummy". Laugh if you must.
Let's see....mummification, hot brunette woman in riding boots and uniform weilding a pistol and a crop ordering her subs to tie up other men and close them in the mummys "tomb", gags too!
A very campy movie with some Femdom, bondage, panties shoved in mouths is "Neurotic Cabaret" about as campy as that Land of the Amazons type movie tha Bill Maher was in (early 80's?)

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Post #: 44

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/6/2006 10:35:07 PM

EvilGeoff

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Joined: 8/24/2005
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Rather than re-invent the wheel, I'll post what I wrote about Secretary over on Literotica....

Secretary, with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. (side note: there is no "the" in the title. It's just Secretary)

I know folks who love the movie, folks who hate it, folks who just don't care one way or the other. Personally, I loved it. Bought it on DVD the day it was released (first, and ONLY, time I have EVER done that!)

I know people just like the characters in the movie. Me for one...

Spader's character, Edward Grey, was me when I was just discovering this lifestyle... As a newbie Dominant I was all over the place. Overbearing one minute, scared to death the next. It was like "I'm going to push this until something breaks..." then I'd be "OMG, what if someone found out?"

Gyllenhall's character, Lee Hollway, was a cutter. I know people who object to this portrayal as being negative because she's not psychologically healthy at the beginning of the movie. I found the character to be absolutely positive. Again, this is probably because I experienced a lot of what she went through. In pain, emotionally isolated from those around her, knowing she is other, different from her family and friends but not really understanding why... She discovers BDSM and the light finally comes on for her.

She starts exploring this world, reading books, gathering information, she finds someone, Spader, that she recognizes as a kindred spirit, the yin to her yang. She wants to submit to him.

But he struggles with this. Part of him needs it, aches for it. But part of him fights against the BDSM because it goes against everything he was taught by family, by friends, by society as a whole. He's become emotionally stunted, a real jerk, because he has never felt free to be himself.

I've walked in those shoes. I've lived that life, I've fought those battles. I was suicidally depressed before I discovered the BDSM community. Why? Because I was locked in a vanilla marriage, living in a vanilla world, killing myself a little bit each day to try to live a life by what others expected and demanded of me. I had, for one brief shining moment in my college days, a kinky, pervy, hot, BDSM in all but name, relationship, and was locked into a vanilla world for the next 15 years... Welcome to hell.

It never occured to me that real people, "normal people" shared these feelings. After all, the only sadists you read about in popular culture are the Joseph Mengele's, the John Wayne Gacy/Ted Bundy type psychopaths and serial rapists/killers. Since I wanted to hurt people, I MUST be some kind of sick, twisted, deviant just waiting to start my crime spree and kill a dozen or so people before getting caught and tried and executed, right?

Like Gyllenhaal's Lee, I was unhealthy for many years because I surpressed this part of myself. And like Lee, as I explored this world, I became healthier and happier, stronger, better because I could accept me, for who I was. Like Spader's Edward, I fought through the societal norms we are programmed with, the conformity, the egalitarianism. I came to embrace my inner sadist and found myself.

When I saw Secretary for the first time, I stood up and cheered at the end of it because someone made a movie that told MY story. Maybe not the factual events of my journey, but it nailed the emotional and spiritual journey I've travelled abso-freaking-lutely on the head. Dead bang spot on.

I understand many of the reasons people don't like Secretary, and it's not going to hurt my feelings if y'all share them. The movie has flaws, for sure. But I'll keep my copy and treasure it. It's me, and it's mine! *smile* Yours In Kink,- Geoff

(in reply to keptcaged)

Post #: 45

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/6/2006 10:49:15 PM

Evanesce

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Amen! I couldn't have said it better, Geoff. And for what it's worth - as soon as we watched our rental copy, Master turned to me and commanded that I find a copy and buy it... immediately. That's the one and only time He's ever said that about a movie.

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Post #: 46

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/6/2006 11:09:25 PM

slavejali

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Hi Geoff, I really liked what you wrote about the secretary, I can appreciate it spoke to people within the lifestyle.

I just think it looked to outsiders though that those two people in it coulda been a Ted Bundy type, in as how far they could relate to and appreciate the movie. Thats the part that pissed me off the most, "what it was educating the public with" considering it was a mainstream movie.

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Post #: 47

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/7/2006 12:23:43 AM

meatcleaver

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The Secretary is mainstream and too self censored. The French do this sort of thing so much better because they don't have to worry about censorship and upsetting the moral majority.

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Post #: 48

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/8/2006 7:46:12 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
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From: Petaluma (Northern California)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
I just think it looked to outsiders though that those two people in it coulda been a Ted Bundy type, in as how far they could relate to and appreciate the movie. Thats the part that pissed me off the most, "what it was educating the public with" considering it was a mainstream movie.

Your fears have apparently not been borne out. Although there has been the occasional strong reaction, the majority of the mainstream public are familiar enough with BDSM concepts that, while they may have laughed at (rather than laughed with) certain aspects of the film, they correctly read it as a love story.

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Post #: 49

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/8/2006 8:07:33 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Everytime I see "The Secretary" movie mentioned in one of these threads I think I actually grimace.

Master and I have watched it twice, the first time we switched it off in disgust, the second time we wanted to give it a chance, see it through etc...but my opinion didnt change.

I really disliked the fact that both Dominant and submissive were portrayed like they had mental illness..just another thing to show everyday people how anyone involved in BDSM has to be a weirdo and have something wrong with their mental make-up.

Grrr to The Secretary
My Rating: Negative -98958675349

I agree. I objected to the premise that one could stop self-injurious behavior by substituting BDSM.
I did laugh at the scene where she attempts to get the vanilla boyfriend to spank her.

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Post #: 50

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/8/2006 8:29:24 AM

TheProtector

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Joined: 5/10/2004
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This is a film I keep wanting to get, and missing out

Got it at last...

http://ts.searching.com/torrent/317488/Secretary_2_2_DIVX

hope that helps others

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 51

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/8/2006 11:21:01 AM

bignipples2share

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Joined: 4/19/2004
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I loved the movie. I thought it portrayed two people, definately not knowing what they were missing from their lives and finding it. Yes, she's topping from the bottom and he's thriving from it. Perfect!!!
Actually a vanilla friend suggested it to me. She doesn't know that I like what I like. She asked if I'd seen this weird movie out called Secretary. When I said no, she said I needed to see it and that it was kinda weird, but cool at the same time. She thought it showed a very positive attitude. She said it wouldn't be for her and her boyfriend, but that she could see that it worked out great for them. She recommended it to me because she said she really wanted to buy the movie for her boss because he acted like a jerk just like that LOL. She's even picked out a co-worker who could possibly be his Lee. Sorry, I'm laughing hard here, ya gotta know her to see how her brain works, she's a wonderful person who fills me with laughter and glee.

(in reply to TheProtector)

Post #: 52

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/8/2006 2:20:10 PM

PrinceSitri

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It bored the arses off both my partner and myself - in fact she fell asleep during it.

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Post #: 53

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/8/2006 2:23:17 PM

PrinceSitri

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shivvy

i liked the story of 'O'. i thought that woz a grand film

Moi aussi! ;-)

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Post #: 54

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/8/2006 6:56:30 PM

acctonthelook

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Sounds like I need to include the video store as a pit stop during my daily walks.

Thanks Everyone, I will be looking for Secretary, PTTP & Story of O!

Movie Fanatic!

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Post #: 55

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/9/2006 9:33:10 AM

feastie

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I hated Secretary. It was, to me, just another example of Hollywood chickening out on the topic of BDSM.
Any time Hollywood addresses BDSM, the characters are in some way, dysfunctional. That pisses me off!
Hollywood isn't alone in this. Publishing misses the boat too. Examples are Anne Rice's Beauty Trilogy, (man, I hope I can get through this list without throwing up), The Story of O, The Marketplace Series, Panic Snap, the many writers who've made their serial killer somehow connected with BDSM....and on...and on...and on.

But I have a goal. I am working, albeit slowly, on a novel which bring two people together in such a way that the mainstream is as taken by the book as the kinky folk. It's past time that the lifestyle was presented in a way that isn't dysfunctional. There is nothing wrong with us, dammit!

(in reply to acctonthelook)

Post #: 56

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/9/2006 9:36:06 AM

kittensmailbox

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From: Youngstown, Ohio
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i have to disagree, i thought that Seretary was very done and shown class....

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Post #: 57

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/9/2006 9:50:15 AM

Dustyn

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Exit to Eden!! *running for dear life* LOL

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Post #: 58

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/9/2006 3:37:57 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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quote:

Original Quote: feastie
I am working, albeit slowly, on a novel which bring two people together in such a way that the mainstream is as taken by the book as the kinky folk. It's past time that the lifestyle was presented in a way that isn't dysfunctional. There is nothing wrong with us, dammit!

I'll buy a copy

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Post #: 59

RE: BDSM movies- 2002 "Secretary" - 4/9/2006 6:31:33 PM

sharainks

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Joined: 12/13/2004
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I know a Dom who has an interesting perspective on this movie. He says that the dom character appears so conflicted because he knows what he wants to do but believes that his desires are wrong. All the exercise, OCD stuff etc is a way for him to cope. He is trying to make sense of a world that he doesn't quite fit into. How many of us started from that point?

I know that even in my earliest sexual encounters something was missing. I knew that hearing "I don't want to hurt you" made me want to pummel them. Only with the internet did I finally gain understanding of "what was wrong with me" that I didn't seem to enjoy the same things other women did. I also realized my whole outlook on relationships was different.

To me neither of them seems particularly mentally ill. Just two people who are somewhat confused about their sexuality.

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 60

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