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  They expect me to take care of myself and deal with issues directly.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Again, depends on the relationship.  My former owners (and plenty of other masters) would laugh at you if you approached them about an issue with MY behavior.  They expect me to take care of myself and deal with issues directly.

I agree that accountability is handled differently between dom and sub.  But I do not believe that a dom or master has a great deal more responsibility than a sub/slave. 

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ORIGINAL: fastlane

Me..Me...Me.....it's all about you Raven....LOL
Hey, I feel the same way....Me...Me....Me..........too

I understand both of the recent points that have been brought up. Although I feel responsible for my slave and accept responsibility, there will be times when I may fall and it is her that lends me her support. An Ambiotic relationship...the smaller fish do things for the bigger fish in order to be sustained by the bigger fish.
You and I Raven, are the Big Fishy's.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: amayos
The suggestion of such an idea is absurd to me; they are not in a position to judge, and it is more than a little foolish to allow them to be. It is well enough that a Master be personally accountable to himself.

Depends on the relationship that you have with your slave.  Many slaves are in the BEST position to judge, and many masters enjoy having their smart/good judgement making slave work with them through that process. 

The master obviously thinks the slave has good judgement if the slave judged the master to be right for the slave as their master- no reason it couldn't extend into other situations.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
See I completely disagree.  I don't think I have more to be accountable for, more to be responsible for, or more to worry about.

I just have DIFFERENT things to be accountable for, responsible for and worry about in some areas. 

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
If i am in the best position to judge what is best for me, then i don't need a Master. 

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In my relationship with him, i must be able to rely on him at all times and trust his decisions and direction at all times.  If he makes misjudgments made along the way, getting hung up about them serves no purpose but to chip away at the foundation i so greatly count on.  i can read him well enough to know when he is reassessing.  i don't need him apologizing and begging forgiveness.  That would be destructive to our relationship.

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ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn
Ah, but I wasn't using "more" in a comparative sense, i.e. I am MORE accountable/responsible/etc than My slave.  I meant it in the sense that, as a human being, I am accountable for Myself.  As a Dominant, I am also accountable for My slave's happiness, health and well-being.  That is my "more" that I was referring to :)

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

... the master does not put him/herself responsible for the slaves happiness, and in fact may let the slave know that part of THEIR responsibilities will be to work towards the masters health and well-being.  After all, most slaves love to be pleasing and most masters want a slave to work to please them- that's a big responsibility.

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ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

True.  But it's a kind of circle... by making the Mistress happy, the slave is therefore happy.   Let's face it, the slave is getting *something* out of the relationship, something , that makes him BE a slave, and stay a slave... ergo, makes him happy.  Even if it's being beaten or humiliated or made to serve.   So in a way, I am accountable for his happiness.  That's why, for instance, I'm not looking for a slave who's into S&M.  I'm not a sadist, and a slave whose ultimate fulfillment comes from being spanked or flogged (or whatever) is NOT going to be happy in the long-run, and will eventually either begin to act out, or manipulate, or just plain leave.  It's also unfortunately my responsibility to spend a LOT of time with talking to those who say they can live without pain, just because they want a Mistress... but who eventually will be unhappy because I'm not providing what they need.  Yes, I'm the Mistress and what I say goes.  But unless I run into that rare, truly no-limits slave who wants only to be owned no matter what the cost, it's my responsibility to chose a slave who will be fulfilled by being in My service.  So, as this circle comes back around, yes, I am also responsible for My slave's happiness.

YMMV :)

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

... the master does not put him/herself responsible for the slaves happiness, and in fact may let the slave know that part of THEIR responsibilities will be to work towards the masters health and well-being.  After all, most slaves love to be pleasing and most masters want a slave to work to please them- that's a big responsibility.

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ORIGINAL: amayos

Accountability is a system in which a person is required or expected to justify his or her actions or decisions. Though I may often be kind enough to do so, it is clearly understood that I need not justify or explain my actions or decisions to my slaves. The suggestion of such an idea is absurd to me; they are not in a position to judge, and it is more than a little foolish to allow them to be. It is well enough that a Master be personally accountable to himself.

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ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

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ORIGINAL: amayos

Accountability is a system in which a person is required or expected to justify his or her actions or decisions. Though I may often be kind enough to do so, it is clearly understood that I need not justify or explain my actions or decisions to my slaves. The suggestion of such an idea is absurd to me; they are not in a position to judge, and it is more than a little foolish to allow them to be. It is well enough that a Master be personally accountable to himself.

Thinking like this worries me because it creates an environment that is ripe for abuse. Everyone makes mistakes, and if your sub/slave must accept your behavior/choices/decisions without question or discussion you are not simply being dominant, you are being a dictator. Above and beyond all the trappings of  D/s a sub/slave has a responsibility to him/herself to stay safe both physically and emotionally. If that takes questioning and demanding an explanation, then it should be given. If a gross error is made then an apology is in order. I would have a very hard time respecting a person of such fragile ego that he/she could not admit to making a mistake.

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ORIGINAL: pedpuppy
Very well put Lady Morgan.  i could not of expressed my thoughts better than that. 

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ORIGINAL: Varicolored

But, what struck me about her post, which described a scene she did publicly with her slave, who, I might add, was supposedly the most cherished thing in her life, described in graphic detail the flow of the whips and whatnot, but, at the end, she didn't discuss how she held her slave to bring her back, or how she tended her in any way.  In point of fact, the post explicitly pointed out how she left her alone to go chat with some folks.

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ORIGINAL: SylkBelieves

When a sub or slave falls short of their Dom/Master's expectations it is generally expected that the sub/slave will be held accountable by that Dom/Master by one means or another.  Dominants and Masters are humans and subject to human shortcomings.  So, how are THEY held accountable?

Sylk_believes
When someone tells you who they are, believe them, the first time.  Maya Angelou

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ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy
That rant being tossed, can someone kindly explain what a ' scene ' is supposed to be? I assume that it is some role playing thingy, but had rather ask than to remain unilluminated.

A scene is generally a specific time/activity for people to play and enjoy kinky stuff together.  Role play is a type of scene, but not the only type.

Yeah, that is kind of what I expected it was. I suppose it is a matter of semantics, but I see that as people role playing at being BDSM'ers. I've always referred to them as weekend ass slappers; vanillas that get together on the weekend, swat one another's asses, and then go back to their mundane lives two hours later.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

i have to disagree here.  Master sees the big picture; i do not.  If i am in the best position to judge what is best for me, then i don't need a Master.  As for choosing him as a Master, i didn't really select him.  His power spoke to me and drew me to him, thwarting all my attempts to resist.

Having said that, this is not to say Master walks on water.  There are situations when his predictability is incorrect and the reaction he is going after is way off.  i might cry about how wrong he was, but sometimes i think that and then later realize...."Ohhhhh" because i didn't see his ultimate goal.  Sometimes i have to go through something excrutiatingly difficult, which might feel "wrong" to me at the time, but is ultimately necessary for my growth. Those times when things do not occur as he has planned, he holds himself accountable by re-evaluating the situation and his decision, studying me and why i did not react as predicted, and, most importantly, turning the event into a growth opportunity for us both.  It is not about "Oh, Master was wrong, he must pay the price."    It is about, "i feel pretty crappy about what just happened, and i am able to appropriately express my feelings to him about it, and i trust he is going to guide me out of this if i need help."

In my relationship with him, i must be able to rely on him at all times and trust his decisions and direction at all times.  If he makes misjudgments made along the way, getting hung up about them serves no purpose but to chip away at the foundation i so greatly count on.  i can read him well enough to know when he is reassessing.  i don't need him apologizing and begging forgiveness.  That would be destructive to our relationship.  He might occasionally say he misinterpreted a situation, or remind me that he is imperfect, but the focus is always on correcting any situation that has gone awry, and helping me become stronger as a result.

DITTO DITTO DITTO - I strongly agree with every word you wrote!  To me that's the basics of the dom/sub relationship.  Yes, as a sub I can make a suggestion or comment, but ultimately it is his decision to decide and we follow that together with me in tow and in trust. 

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

In my relationship with him, i must be able to rely on him at all times and trust his decisions and direction at all times.  If he makes misjudgments made along the way, getting hung up about them serves no purpose but to chip away at the foundation i so greatly count on. 

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For it is not about who is right and who is wrong; it is about who is Master and who is slave."