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RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/7/2006 4:56:31 PM

Prunesquallor

Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Do they bounce things off their slaves?
Celeste

Only if the slave is a masochist.........

lol - thank you for that laugh just before bed. A good way to end the day.

(in reply to catize)

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Post #: 101

RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/7/2006 6:11:44 PM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Is it your place to determine what "SHOULD" occur for other Dominants in their relationships? If so, where do you draw the line of when it is appropriate of what "Should" occur in a relationship that is not your own?

Knight, I'm confused? Are you saying that the relationship between a Master/ Sub is not the subs relationship too? Just curious, still b/c I'm new. Can you clear that up for me?

quote:

original: Knight's kyra
I do think that we all should be accountable for our actions. But I don’t think that an apology is necessarily a demonstration of accountability. Being accountable and apologizing are two different things. To me being accountable means that you recognize the mistakes that you make and you take steps to try and prevent those same mistakes in the future. This can be a completely internal process with no external input or validation. However, we do not always know the impact our choices have on others. It is in those times that we have to rely on the people we have affected to communicate with us. My relationship encourages this and provides me with a protocol to do this within the M/s structure.

This is what I hope to have someday with a Master. Just the plain encouragement to be open when something is affecting me.

I do understand that ultimately it's the Masters final call but another Dom (woman) here says that she believes in giving an explanation for why she made a certain final call too. She feels that if the sub is given the reason 'why' then the sub can learn more about the way Dom/ she thinks and build the trust factor in the sub.

What's wrong with a Master/ Dom explaning the decisions made to a sub when tension happens or decisions are made?

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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Post #: 102

RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/7/2006 8:20:40 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

What's wrong with a Master/ Dom explaning the decisions made to a sub when tension happens or decisions are made?

In some cases, absolutely nothing. In other cases, it might not be necessary or appropriate. In even other cases, a slave may find herself in a position to simply trust he had his reasons, knows there may have been error, and is dealing with it. Sometimes it just comes down to trust and faith.

(in reply to acctonthelook)

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Post #: 103

RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/7/2006 8:56:54 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
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Perhaps I live in a pie-in-the-sky world, but I don't hold people accountable for mistakes ... mistakes are just mistakes ... fuckups ... errors in judgement. If nobody dies, stfu and move on already.

Now, intentionally, evilly, hurtful ... something like screwing my sister ... I still won't hold you accountable. I'm going straight to highly vindictive.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

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Post #: 104

RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/7/2006 9:12:05 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
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Speaking for myself, and only myself; Since our relationship is not that of a Dominant/submissive/Master/slave, we hold ourselves accountable for our OWN actions. We each take responsibility for errors in judgement when they occur; accept the fact that they were made, and move on. When I say errors in judgement, I do not mean genuine mistakes. Mistakes happen all the time, we are human. When I say errors in judgement I mean, for example, during play, here have been times that he has pushed me TOO far. At those time, he takes responsibility for it because he was aware that I was at my edge, and he made the decision to push anyway. Then there have been times that I have asked him to keep going and he has done so against HIS better judgement; in those instances, I take responsibility because I knew that I was pushing too far.
Personally, in my own opinion, I believe that everyone in the relationship has to accept responsibility at some point, even if it means giving it over to your partner.

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~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to SylkBelieves)

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Post #: 105

RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/8/2006 4:02:07 AM

scratchingpost

Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: scratchingpost

I believe that a Dominant should be held accountable for their behavior and the submissive call them on it with RESPECT when they make an error that causes them harm. I feel the dominant can learn from their mistakes and grow just as much as a submissive.

Is it your place to determine what "SHOULD" occur for other Dominants in their relationships? If so, where do you draw the line of when it is appropriate of what "Should" occur in a relationship that is not your own?

Point taken.... In the relationships that I have engaged in, I feel the dominant should take responsability for their actions and be held accountable for their behavior. Further, a dominants behavior, actions, and inactions may lead to the submissive to perform poorly or do things that will displease the dominant...I agree with IronBear when He said earlier ..."The buck stops here." If something were to happen as a direct or indirect result of my behavior it is my responsability to do my best to correct it and learn from the experience. I feel I owe it not only to myself but the submissives in my care.

_____________________________

be safe and smile
purrrs kitty
(=^.^=)
www.misskittys-scratchingpost.com

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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Post #: 106