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RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/11/2010 6:44:52 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		OP, just remember that it isn't only his feelings that matter, yours do too.
If he shares you and it is a terrible experience, the other dom doesn't respect your limits or you discover that it is emotionally distressing, you could easily come out of this not trusting your husband at all. And rightfully for deliberately subjecting you to an experience that caused physical or emotional harm.

You can always turn a no to yes but you cannot undo an experience. Make sure you will be okay with it before you do it. Me personally? If confronted with doing something that will be a relationship breaker I prefer to end the relationship before doing the activity instead of after. The result of the activity on the relationship is the same, ending it. So why not end it without causing me the harm?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/11/2010 9:24:11 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I am more than happy to be of service to Gary's friends.  In the past I have dog sat.  I have had his dominant friends over for dinner.  I have painted.  I have cleaned.  I do not believe being of service to friends will make me more likely to cheat.  I don't see why he would view me any differently. 

Yes, I do realize you meant sexual service.  However, you didn't say that.  There are many ways a Dominant can share his submissive that is not sexual.  Service is not always sexual service and sharing does not have to mean fucking. 

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 4:40:23 AM   
wife4sharing


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/4/2010
Status: offline 		thank you everyone that responded with their take on this-i should have clarified i guess that i meant it not along the lines of random strangers, but rather someone/others that he knows and trusts. i know he would never put me in harms why so that is not an issue-just wondered from other masters/owners who do share about the questions/topics i asked in the opening post
thank you

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 5:01:53 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Doesn't change my original post - stranger or bestus friend; somethings I just don't share....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 6:05:13 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wife4sharing

have a question for those who do share their slaves i wanted to get opinions on how you feel about this as far as way you see her?
does this make you feel closer to her that she is obedient enough to fulfill something like serving another male dominant? or do you think less of her because she did it, meaning if you owned her and you told her to do it and she did so, would you view her differently?(yes even though you ordered her to do so) also if you are married and are speaking of your slave wife, does this make you think she would ever cheat on you/serve another dom/master without you telling her to do so?
** i do know many here use different words for thier situations, hence slave/bottom/property/'it' and so on as well as top/master/owner/dom and so on so please understand am merely trying to get general idea and information on this subject. thank you very much


If a slave of either Bruin Cottage or a personal slave of mine is rated as a whore (regarding her part of her duties), I will to some degree, share her with selected persons or either gender for limited use. Certainly with males the rule is (regarding condoms) "It it isn't on, its not on!" Other than that, any person I allow to use a girl will be given precise information of what is and what is not permitted. It will never be a given that having used a girl of mine once that she is automatically available at any time. I am equally likely to invite a friend to join the girl, Neets and I in a foursome intimate play.

Regarding MasterGoad88 or is it GONADS MINOR, I have my doubts about his reality or experience in the real world. But I could also be wrong there are so many strange people in this world.



< Message edited by IronBear -- 5/12/2010 6:07:22 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 7:29:26 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

have a question for those who do share their slaves i wanted to get opinions on how you feel about this as far as way you see her?
I am a submissive, married to my Master, but allow me to answer anyway.
We discussed and are aware of how the other feels about sharing prior to committing to our relationship. I am his, and he does not share. He is aware that i feel the same and do not want to be with anyone but him. He respects me, himself and our relationship far too much to ever order me to do something that he knows i am not willing to do.



holly is not even allowed to share her cookies with others. 

funny...someone keeps swiping them...

/glares at Stevie and his cookie-crumbed beard/


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 7:31:18 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Regarding MasterGoad88 or is it GONADS MINOR, I have my doubts about his reality or experience in the real world.



I don't.  I have no doubt that he has no experience whatsoever.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 9:03:48 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wife4sharing

thank you everyone that responded with their take on this-i should have clarified i guess that i meant it not along the lines of random strangers, but rather someone/others that he knows and trusts. i know he would never put me in harms why so that is not an issue-just wondered from other masters/owners who do share about the questions/topics i asked in the opening post
thank you



She's asking if it changes your view of your slave/wife/loved one? Does it deteriorate your relationship? Does it make you think she will cheat and/or is a nasty dirty tramp or does it make you feel closer to you because she did it for you? Come on people, read!


OP I'm obviously not a male owner/master/"twue dominate" but I can tell I did do this in a relationship where I was the sub. In that case, we had discussed it openly for awhile before it occurred. It was his thing and something he really desired. It didn't effect our relationship negatively in the least. However, sometimes one just doesn't know how they will feel until they feel it, so I can see where some trepidation would come into play when considering it.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 11:24:38 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So he knows them. So what? Has he seen a std scan taken the prior day and can he guarantee the guy hasn't been with anyone since the scan was taken. And remember folks, condoms do not stop transmission of all diseases. You could still wind up with a permanent reminder of this experience.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 11:58:53 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

i wanted to get opinions on how you feel about this as far as way you see her? does this make you feel closer to her that she is obedient enough to fulfill something like serving another male dominant?


Extremities aside...

It is possible to have an agreement where an act is expected and the controlling party feels some measure of appreciation and good will to the submissive for her adherence or a job well done. I don't think either aspect is a negative reflection of his role, but merely his ability to demonstrate that he finds favor in her obedience.

On the other hand, the negative situations mentioned usually have less to do with the submissive and more to do with the dominant's conflicting emotions about what has taken place. For some, the idea is far more appealing than its reality. If he wrestles with the fact she's given herself sexually to another person - even if it was at his behest - the disdain you mentioned could be an honest outgrowth from the experience.

But here's the caveat. Unless both have done this in previous relationships you really can't predict what you'll feel until it happens.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 12:21:15 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah my reaction exactly and actually on point of what she was asking.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 12:38:43 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		obviously i am not a Dominant or male, lol...but i thought i'd share my perspective as a slave of 10 years who has been "shared" by my Master since practically day one of being his property. it is my place to serve whomever he wishes me to, and this service can come in countless forms...from the domestic and therapeutic services i provide to his elderly parents, to cleaning his family church (altho i do not practice that religion or any other), to sexual service to other men. no matter the type of service, i am expected to always do my very best.

in regards to sexual service to other men, he takes great pleasure in not only my obedience to my will, but to how well i am able to please someone else. it's important to him that i am able to adjust to the needs and desires of many different men, and that i serve each man with as much attention and focus as i would while serving him. one of the first lessons my Master instilled in me was the importance of showing no resistance. this means that he wants me to be submissive and obedient as general states of being, rather as a conscious choice to turn on or off according to a particular situation. if a situation is dangerous, he has taught me that there are other ways of avoiding it which do not require me to go against my submissive nature. my sexual service to other men is a great example of our no resistance philosophy at work.

and to those who fret endlessly about STIs, of course it is wise to take precautions, but with anything in life there are risks, one must accept that. in the 10 years i have been a slave, my Master has had me serve many dozens of other men...i could not begin to count exactly. and in those 10 years, i have not acquired one STI.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 10:09:07 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Surrender is by ongoing free choice from self will.
Mastery is first and foremost of one's self.
All partner's boundaries and limits MUST be honored and respected.
The particular dynamic in any partnership is unique.

A "master" with narcissistic personality disorder will objectify their partner, and lack the capacity to feel much at all. Hence the desparate need for external approval, validation, and ego boost -- which can manifest in the type of symbolic gestures which you describe.

A healthy manifestation of the scene which you describe can often revolve around the intensity of pleasure to which the partner chooses to surrender. With the right heart/mindset and setting, it can work to open sexual channels which may be the subject of ongoing work in the process of surrendering.

The distinction between sumittor and slave is merely one of degree along the continuum of surrender. At no time is the personal power of free choice relinquished. Rather, the authority to choose may be delegated. As such in Western societies, a BDSM slave is never property, except in some ficticious role playing scenarios. Presumably this website supports only lawful conduct.

Thanks to ModTwentyOne for taking an active role to keep the thread focused upon the original post, and not the secondary drama which is not even worth a response IMHO.


(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/12/2010 10:46:12 PM   
Malkinius


Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings....

I am someone who has shared slaves for both domestic and sexual service. No, I was not married to any of them. The reasons for allowing sexual service to another varied by the slave. I did not feel any different after that about them than I did before. One difference is that I will not "love" my slaves. I have slaves, not submissive romantic partners. No, I have never allowed them to be with anyone I did not know with one exception and that was the slave begging for something for her birthday. I allowed it and she enjoyed it. <grins>

The real points here is what are the true source of the relationship, how much control does the sub/slave have over the relationship and how much self confidence does the dominant partner have. If the relationship is primarily romantic, there will not be much sharing going on. If, as is usually the case, the sub/slave only allows her dominant to do certain things with her, then she may or may not be shared with someone (especially sexually). If the dominant fears losing his submissive if someone else gets a chance at her then he will not allows others to do much of anything with her, especially sexually. In the latter case, the less self-confidence the dominant has the more possessive he will be. That is not always the case but I do see it a lot.

Whether or not any sub or slave should be shared sexually is up to the people involved. I do agree with and require safer sex measures if I allow such usage. Lets not be stupid and assume there will never be a problem and also lets not assume that such measures will fail every time they are attempted. Both are equally wrong....stupid....and very dangerous. Not to mention it spoils a lot of fun. <grins>

Goad was right about one thing. For some people who have experience and who have been doing this a while, a slave is property first and any care and affection you have for her comes after that. Yes, those things I do have for the slaves I own or train. <smiles>

Be well....

Malkinius


_____________________________

A questioner by inclination...An Auctioneer for the fun of it
http://www.HouseMalkinius.com    The goal is community.

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/13/2010 2:30:57 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ModTwentyOne
In the meantime, if you have not already discovered it, there is a button that takes you directly to the first unread post.  It's a little page symbol immediately to the left of the thread title.  If you hover over it, you will see a box pop up that says "go to first unread post".  If you click that, you will bypass previous posts that may bring your intestinal fortitude into question.





Hey Mod 21!
Thank YOU!!! Had no idea... wooo hooo! No more searching... where was I? Where was I?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to ModTwentyOne)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/13/2010 3:05:29 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I can't get that to work on my pc.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/13/2010 5:19:20 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wife4sharing

have a question for those who do share their slaves i wanted to get opinions on how you feel about this as far as way you see her?
does this make you feel closer to her that she is obedient enough to fulfill something like serving another male dominant? or do you think less of her because she did it, meaning if you owned her and you told her to do it and she did so, would you view her differently?(yes even though you ordered her to do so) also if you are married and are speaking of your slave wife, does this make you think she would ever cheat on you/serve another dom/master without you telling her to do so?
** i do know many here use different words for thier situations, hence slave/bottom/property/'it' and so on as well as top/master/owner/dom and so on so please understand am merely trying to get general idea and information on this subject. thank you very much


this is an odd question really. 

i was in a relationship for a time where it was discussed that i would be shared.  i didnt go much on it to be honest, but it was Ms and i was told that whatever occurred would be very much under his control.  it was just something he got off on, other people wanting/enjoying his slave.

so if a guy wants to pursue this, for whatever reason its because he wants to.  if its going to squick him out or make him question her fidelity, (even when it was him that asked her to do this thing) then id have to wonder what the purpose of it all is.

is it a test to see if she would and therefore confirm in his head that women are all basically untrustable whores?
is it because he has an issue with women cheating on him and he needs to explore that?
is it to test her submission on a thing she feels deep down he wont/cant handle and is putting too much onus on her to prove something to him?

if its any of the above then youre being put in a difficult position - youre damned if you do and youre damned if you dont.

i think if this is youre situation OP and youre real concerns then you need to talk about it with him.

but if its just that he likes to share his woman and enjoy watching other people enjoy you too then its just another thing to explore i guess.  ive talked to alot of guys who genuinely enjoy this kinda thing.  it might just be as simple as that. 

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/13/2010 7:31:11 AM   
wife4sharing


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/4/2010
Status: offline 		thank you everyone so far for the insightful posts
as far as not knowing how would feel unless done in past, neither of us has done before so that is true, wont know how will really feel until it happens as reality of things are often quite different than one expects. I never considered it before I was with him,and I know that he doesnt have low self-confidence and I do think it as a few mentioned here, that it is perhaps just the enjoyment of watching. In the past it was a hard limit from the start and yet with him I do feel need to obey him as I know he would never order me to do things just to watch me suffer or set me up for failure. I just dont want to go in blind and then discover issues later and having read some here and possable takes on this we have discussed in somewhat although Im sure will talk about it much more before it happens.
As far as safety aspect he is a very safety conscious person-to the point I think he is anal (no pun intended)about many things with the 'it could happen' so I know he wouldnt put me in harms way as he goes above and beyond making sure I am safe and taken care of in everyday life.
To those who said my feelings matter as well, I wasnt implying that he simply expected me to go into it blindly, as we have discussed it and I do know if there was anything that I seriously didnt want to do(and had good reason at least) he wouldnt push me to do it,if was something that would emotionally hurt me. I know if it was something he really wanted then we would work thru it until I could do it for him,as not only would it please him but of course my happiness comes from being obedient to him.
I very much appreciate the subs and slaves commenting as well, I just wasnt sure about posting same questions in two areas as I have read many boards here and think that is not allowed so I chose the ask a master.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/13/2010 7:49:29 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		As someone who has a lot of rather widely varied sexual experience as well as kink, you are asking an impossible question. Without knowing the motivation for sharing and allowing oneself to be shared, it is impossible to describe the outcome. Even knowing those things isn't enough to predect the outcome although one can get a much better guess.

Some people want to share secretly hoping the other will refuse as some sort of proof they really desire their partner. Sharing in that case is going to end badly.

Some people want to share because they need external validation and hope to get it from the person to whom they are offering their partner. If they get the right sort of validation, it might go well.

Some people just love fucking and if they are shared with someone who enjoys it for the sheer pleasure, it is also likely to go well.

There are all sorts of other motivations as well, some good, some not so good, and some rather horrible.

(in reply to wife4sharing)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: asking Male Masters who 'share' their slave(s) - 5/13/2010 9:33:20 AM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGoad88

Feel CLOSE to a SLAVE?  Why on GOD'S green earth woudl I feel close to my PROPERTY?  If I choose to share MY slave it is becauase she is MY property to DO WITH as I want.  I feel CLOSER to my car than I hyave to any slavething.

I think you don't understand how SLAVERY works.  If you want a sisffied little pissant to feel close to you than go find a boyfriend.  Why do women have to try to romantify everything?  Let ME make this real clear for you okay.  I am NOT a white knight on a whiet horse come to save you.  I am a DRAGON come to eat you up.

Shoudn't you be busy inflating your girlfriend?

(in reply to MasterGoad88)
Profile   Post #: 40
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