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Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:10:10 AM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		- What are the main differences between the two?
- What are the similarities?
- In which of the two is the domination usually more strict?
- Which is more risky?
- Are there differences in style of domination and submission in them?
- What about the subs? What are the differences between male subs and female subs?
- Who of them are usually more obedient, male subs or female subs? Who have more limits?
- And what about the Dominants? What are the differences between male dominants and female dominants?
- Which is easier to implement, maledom relationship or femdom relationship?

Note: I am asking only about real-life full 24/7 D/s relationships, not about the fantasy, porn, or pro-domming.
Also, I don't include online relationships.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:14:46 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

- What are the main differences between the two?

One has men in charge, the other has women.
quote:

- What are the similarities?

They are D/s relationships.
quote:

- In which of the two is the domination usually more strict?

This depends entirely on the dominant and has nothing to do with gender.
quote:

- Which is more risky?

This depends entirely on the dominant and has nothing to do with gender.
quote:

- Are there differences in style of domination and submission in them?

This depends entirely on the dominant and submissives and has nothing to do with gender.
quote:

- What about the subs? What are the differences between male subs and female subs?

This depends entirely on the submissives and has nothing to do with gender.
quote:

- Who of them are usually more obedient, male subs or female subs? Who have more limits?

This depends entirely on the submissives and has nothing to do with gender.
quote:

- And what about the Dominants? What are the differences between male dominants and female dominants?

Other than the difference in their gender, this depends entirely on the dominant and has nothing to do with gender.
quote:

- Which is easier to implement, maledom relationship or femdom relationship?

This depends entirely on the dominant and has nothing to do with gender.

- LA



_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:28:02 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		I'm going to echo LA here.  It's much too hard to generalize. 

I think I've had a pretty good view of the broad spectrum of long term successful D/s and M/s relationships in the BDSM community for a number of years.  Honestly, there are just not many general differences predictable by gender.  There are always individual differences, and some differences in the kinks.  Relatively fewer female submissives with heterosexual male dominants are into genderbending, where relatively more male submissives with heterosexual female dominants are into genderbending.  Include GLBT relationships and you do see male dom/male sub and female dom/female sub relationships with a genderbending element.  But it tends to be missing more often than not when there's a het male dom involved, unless he's part of a poly family that also includes a male submissive or GLBT elements.

Beyond that....no, not really.  I can't think of any other statistically significant stuff that's either present or missing in male dom versus female dom, as long as you're only talking about real life relationships and ignoring the stupid porno stereotypes.


_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:28:53 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		And in case you didn't hear her, it has everything to do with the people involved, rather than the genitalia they possess.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:39:04 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		- What are the main differences between the two? One is led by a man, one i sled by a woman.

- What are the similarities? They are both relationships.

- In which of the two is the domination usually more strict? Depends on the individual relationship.

- Which is more risky? I don't believe one is any riskier than the other.

- Are there differences in style of domination and submission in them? Yes, there are differences in style in EVERY relationship.

- What about the subs? What are the differences between male subs and female subs? Male subs have penises, females do not. (I should say this is only a general rule)

- Who of them are usually more obedient, male subs or female subs? Who have more limits? neither of those things are influenced by gender

- And what about the Dominants? What are the differences between male dominants and female dominants? Male dominants have penises, female dominants don't. (Again, this is a general rule)

- Which is easier to implement, maledom relationship or femdom relationship? Well I guess that depends on if you are a man or a woman. I would think that maledom relationships would be extremely difficult to implement for a woman and vice versa.


_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:46:14 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		I'll address a few point by point.  The ones I'm leaving out, please note that my opinion is on the order of, "Bwahahahaha - you've got to be kidding. You would never be able to reliably identify the gender of the participants in a D/s relationship based solely on their answers to this question."

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
- Which is more risky?


In the context of the society we live in, het male dom is.  If you are a heterosexual male dominant, you had goddamn well better trust any woman you consent to do any kinky thing with, because if you leave marks and she squawks, you're probably fucked.  Consensuality isn't a defense.  This can happen to a female dom as well, but it's a bit harder to set those wheels in motion if you're a guy who's pissed off because his female dominant dumped him.  Real fuckin' easy if you're female and your "assailant" is male.  Be aware of this and trust your play partners before agreeing to do anything with them that you might not want to explain to a judge.


quote:

- What about the subs? What are the differences between male subs and female subs?


Males are statistically more likely to have actual fetishes (by the accepted medical definition of fetish) and you will see many more of them interested in genderbending, particularly eroticized genderbending, eg, cross dressing.


_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:46:19 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Women Dommes wear stillettoe boots in 99.9% of situations and in 95% of cases . Male Doms wear stillettoe boots in 65% of situations and in 80% of cases. So there. Straight from kevin's mouth
the kev myster
kevin

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:49:50 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		In the context of the society we live in, het male dom is.  If you are a heterosexual male dominant, you had goddamn well better trust any woman you consent to do any kinky thing with, because if you leave marks and she squawks, you're probably fucked.

Actually, that's true for both genders in many states, especially if there is any link whatsoever to you living or ever have lived together.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:50:25 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Also Women Dommes tend to face slap more. And are generally more interested in judicial caning. They also regard in a wide proportion as inferior. Male Doms tend to be more likely to not face slap. This is a cultural phenomenon. Society thinks it s ok, even funny, for a Female to slap a male. But the reverse is totally unacceptable and is liable to land you in a police cell. And for very good reason. Why? Though men are inferior , they are stronger than Women. A male slap would land a Woman in hospital, a Female slap to a male will hurt but it will definitely not put someone in hospital. The male, though inferior is far stronger physically,  than the Female
kevin

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:52:55 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i meant to say Women Dommes also regard in a wide proportion, their subs, as inferior to them, hence the obey Me bitch, kneel bitch, Your nothing without me, Your a fuckwad , You exist to please me, messages from Female Domme to male sub which populate the internet, this is less so Male Dom to female slave
kevin

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 10:56:00 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Kevin, I believe the OP was asking for people with actual real life experience to chime in and not responses from fantasy world.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 11:14:17 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

a Female slap to a male will hurt but it will definitely not put someone in hospital.



Ha. I slapped my boy in the face and was really disappointed in my own effort. Something about the mechanics of sitting on top of him prevented me from getting a good wind up. A truly shameful lack of force. I tried again. Still lame. So I stopped before I laughed out loud.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 11:16:16 AM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I'd be inclined to leave the 2 boys to the thread and let them indulge each other in their stereotypes and fantacies...

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'


I have an explosive personality...


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 11:22:29 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
Also Women Dommes tend to face slap more. And are generally more interested in judicial caning. They also regard in a wide proportion as inferior. Male Doms tend to be more likely to not face slap. This is a cultural phenomenon. Society thinks it s ok, even funny, for a Female to slap a male. But the reverse is totally unacceptable and is liable to land you in a police cell.


Kevin, you don't actually know jack shit about how BDSM relationships work in the real world.  You're talking from a background of Internet porn and pro dommes advertising their interests less than honestly to attract fetishists on adult sites.  The OP specifically requested that those things be excluded.  Also, you're seriously fucknuts crazy, as far as anybody who reads the femdom forum can tell.  Please get professional help.


quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
i meant to say Women Dommes also regard in a wide proportion, their subs, as inferior to them, hence the obey Me bitch, kneel bitch, Your nothing without me, Your a fuckwad , You exist to please me, messages from Female Domme to male sub which populate the internet, this is less so Male Dom to female slave


Internet porn will rot your brain, dude.  Get off of it and come live in the real world one of these days.  Also, the crap you see on the more extreme (and mostly professional or "tribute") domme profiles is a poor reflection of their actual interests, and an even poorer reflection of the dynamics that actually go on in real life long term relationships.


_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 11:23:48 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
quote:

- Which is more risky?

This depends entirely on the dominant and has nothing to do with gender.

I don't know the greater propensity for men to commit certain crimes (serial killing for instance) makes me skeptical that the risk is exactly the same either way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
quote:

- What about the subs? What are the differences between male subs and female subs?

This depends entirely on the submissives and has nothing to do with gender.

I don't know, personally I've never heard of a female sub who wanted to be humiliated by being "forced" to dress like a man.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 11:46:36 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
quote:

- Which is more risky?

This depends entirely on the dominant and has nothing to do with gender.

I don't know the greater propensity for men to commit certain crimes (serial killing for instance) makes me skeptical that the risk is exactly the same either way.


I guess it depends how you define risk then, as there is much more than physical risk involved. There might be more women who would potentially blackmail a sub then a man, which could be a huge risk as well. But now we are getting into stereotypes. I think overall, the risks probably balance out. More importantly, the risk are reduced when people take the time to know who they are playing with.

quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
quote:

- What about the subs? What are the differences between male subs and female subs?

This depends entirely on the submissives and has nothing to do with gender.

I don't know, personally I've never heard of a female sub who wanted to be humiliated by being "forced" to dress like a man.


Just because you haven't heard of one personally, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Here is a post I made back in 2004 on the subject. In fact, I'd say the whole thread is great.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:15:01 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		This is not fantasy and its not porn either. Look at any of the adds on Tv . Many of them have actually guys being slapped by Women. Watch any soap you will  Women slapping guys.  There is even a website i read and the message to girls was when they get flesh, or stroppy or whatever slap them meaning guys. Also batteredmen has a website too. But undeniably men are much stronger physically than Women, more Women are battered in the US than men every year and nearly all domestic violence victims are Female.  Thats why if a Woman ever slapped me i would walk away rather than hit back because i would be afraid the damage, respectfully , i would do to Her
kevin

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:17:29 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Its too difficult to generalise to be honest. I have been with strict men and women I have also played with all ranges. There isn't a clear difference any that I have found while thinking of a response I have been able to instantly dismiss when thinking of another relationship.

In terms of subs, again there are massive ranges between, I think though that male subs tend to engage in CBT more than female subs but I may be wrong

And in terms of ease, I guess it depends what you like. My relationships with female dominants have been in poly situations, and generally I find in that situation I tend to get a lot closer to the women a lot faster but there is no real difference in them because of their sexual organs more difference between individuals.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:19:03 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Of course You would be disappointed, a Woman's slap is quite weak and harmless when compared to the force of a man's hand. ive seen guys getting slapped by Women but they have never been knocked out whereas guys who have slapped Women, well i dont want to even go there, i think they are cowardly bastards for a start, because where's the point in hitting someone weaker than You, they wouldn't hit the male partner thats for sure, like i say guys who hit Women are total scum
kevin

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:26:24 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Of course You would be disappointed, a Woman's slap is quite weak and harmless when compared to the force of a man's hand. ive seen guys getting slapped by Women but they have never been knocked out whereas guys who have slapped Women, well i dont want to even go there, i think they are cowardly bastards for a start, because where's the point in hitting someone weaker than You, they wouldn't hit the male partner thats for sure, like i say guys who hit Women are total scum
kevin



Love, honestly I don't know how many girls have slapped you but trust me it can be just as hard as when a man does

Also on the 'cowardly bastards' bit, in a BDSM context it isn't, honestly it really isn't I thank the lord for any man who knows the difference between a slap across the cheek because its hot and one in anger because I wouldn't want to never experience the former again


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 20
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