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RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:30:14 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i meant non consensually as in an argument develops that isnt scene orientated and the man hits the Woman full force in the face knocking her out. To me thats abuse. there are better ways of settling disputes. guys who settle disputes with their fists, i dont think much of them to be honest. But a scene consented to by Woman thats different
kevin

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:31:19 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Maybe its just me, i was brought up never to raise a hand to a Woman no matter what
kevin

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:33:12 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
Maybe its just me, i was brought up never to raise a hand to a Woman no matter what


As many and most men were, and luckily you never have to do it, but I think you do need to distinguish between wiitwd and a 'wife beater' they are two different things

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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:41:32 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
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quote:

Look at any of the adds on Tv .


My real life BDSM experience does not resemble the ads on TV.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:53:16 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Have you seen Dommes slap male servants? If you have they are doing no more nor no less than what an actor is doign in a movie scene where the wife or girlfriend hits the male or husband or boyfriend. Ok i agree we dont accept violence male to female and this happens in BDSM but like i say i think we can all agree on one thing that male to female face slapping is less acceptable.  A lot of male doms would be concerned about hitting a Female for this reason. im sure there have been incidences of female slaves reporting their master, im sure its happened. a male reporting a Female Mistress or female anything for that matter wife girlfriend etc for slapping him would on the other hand not be believed if it came to the police etc. Very hypothetical and in many incidences it would not go that far but in some instances it might
kevin

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 12:56:25 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
Have you seen Dommes slap male servants?


In the realm of consensual BDSM, I know d-types of both genders who slap s-types of both genders across the face.

As for my own personal experience, I don't base it on porn, I don't base it on fetish parties, I don't base it on TV. I base it on what I have lived, with those I've engaged in play with one-on-one or in small intimate settings.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 1:07:19 PM   
LillyoftheVally


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Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

A lot of male doms would be concerned about hitting a Female for this reason. im sure there have been incidences of female slaves reporting their master, im sure its happened. a male reporting a Female Mistress or female anything for that matter wife girlfriend etc for slapping him would on the other hand not be believed if it came to the police etc. Very hypothetical and in many incidences it would not go that far but in some instances it might
kevin



Why don't you ask male doms?

Also why would it not be believed? Thats a pretty archaic attitude.


_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 1:55:46 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Well il l admit i dont have Your experience. But im five years younger than You and i live in Ireland where the scene is in it s infancy
kevin

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 1:57:25 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i can only speak from my own experience. i know of guys in Dublin who have been laughed at at garda stations when presenting with bruises after being beaten by their girlfriends/wives.  And im sure this happens in BDSM too,, after all BDSM is  becoming part of the wider Dublin social scene
kevin

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 1:57:55 PM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Well il l admit i dont have Your experience. But im five years younger than You and i live in Ireland where the scene is in it s infancy
kevin



Who made you the official spokesperson on the nature of the BDSM scene in Ireland and when were you appointed?  Based on what criteria - your vast background?

Akasha


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(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 2:07:12 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i ll bet respectfully Akasha that i can comment on it more accurately than You can as You do not live in Ireland just as i would not claim to know all about the American BDSM scene or the British BDSM scene as i dont live in either of those countries
kevin

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 2:08:59 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i reckon too that You could comment much more accurately on the American BDSM scene as You live there and have much more experience of BDSM than i do
kevin

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 2:11:49 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i can only speak from my own experience. i know of guys in Dublin who have been laughed at at garda stations when presenting with bruises after being beaten by their girlfriends/wives. And im sure this happens in BDSM too,, after all BDSM is becoming part of the wider Dublin social scene
kevin



What are you on about? BDSM is becoming part of the wider social scene in Dublin? Didn't you go to like your first ever event the other day?

You talk about Ireland as though it is the back of beyond type BDSM Ireland on a search engine and see the wealth of sites that come back.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 2:47:20 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah i did and it was good. But my point is even the regulars told me that the scene was more advanced in the UK, but that the scene in Dublin was a bit better because it was new and exciting whereas the UK is more developed more well known. Put this way, there are more Dommes in the UK than there are in Ireland and even relatively there are much fewer Dommes in Ireland, i think only two or three come to mind, whereas the UK has hundreds at least
kevin

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 2:59:19 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		SocratesNot,
Lady Angelika's initial reply contains all of the relevant information that you need to answer your question.

Just say "no" to generalizations.

Also, you might want to try reading the existing threads and the archives without starting any threads for a while.  Just a suggestion.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 5:52:21 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		tv ads are not real, they are staged, therefore on the same nonreal spectrum as porn.

Leaving aside kevin's hijacking, what Lady A said. It depends entirely on the people involved.


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(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 6:07:46 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		In each relationship its (usually) the man who must court the woman.

Maledom profiles reflect that dynamic and are solicitous and considerate of woman (as a rule.)

Femdom profiles often read like a job description for which the man needs to apply and demonstrate his worthiness.

Femdom profiles garner a lot of attention, and a lot of it is inappropriate attention. So, the femdom's main project is sorting, deciding, and evaluating.

A maledom will have much less traffic, and will probably have get things started himself with a potential partner, as waiting around would not likely garner any results.

-------

Once a relationship is going, there's the BDSM cliche, "the maledom wants to know how well she gives a blowjob, the femdom how well he cleans house." I don't say this is "accurate," but it provides interesting food for thought. Luckyalbatross said this to me when we had dinner some years ago, before she moved to TX.

-------

The maledom-femsub dynamic comports more with social norms and arguably biological wiring.

The femdom-malesub dynamic cuts against the grain. Outsiders might have more issues with both a Femdom's role (who does she think she is) and the malesub's role (why doesn't he act like a 'real' man.)

------

From the outside a maledom is probably more at risk for being labeled an "abuser of women." Its unlikely a woman would be tagged an "abuser," because its inferred her power is derived consensually.



< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/23/2010 6:25:02 PM >

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 6:28:27 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		The problem is, you can't really say any one thing is true just based on gender other than genitalia (and even that is questionable at times). I would say some of what cloudboy says is generically common, but yet I can think of many instances where it isn't true. I certainly would not agree that past the negotiation phase there's any rule about protocal or consentual name-calling/harshness that applies based on gender and that's just silly.

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 6:31:49 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

- What are the main differences between the two?
- What are the similarities?
- In which of the two is the domination usually more strict?
- Which is more risky?
- Are there differences in style of domination and submission in them?
- What about the subs? What are the differences between male subs and female subs?
- Who of them are usually more obedient, male subs or female subs? Who have more limits?
- And what about the Dominants? What are the differences between male dominants and female dominants?
- Which is easier to implement, maledom relationship or femdom relationship?

Note: I am asking only about real-life full 24/7 D/s relationships, not about the fantasy, porn, or pro-domming.
Also, I don't include online relationships.



Plain and simple one is lead by a dominant male and the other is lead by a dominant female.
Other than being a D/s based relationship, prob not too much similarities.
Have no idea what the specific differences are as that would imply I've been a female led D/s relationship which is entirely out of my realm., all my experiences are with male dominant led relationships.



_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Maledom relationships vs. Femdom relationships - 5/23/2010 6:42:11 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks very much for all the answers, I am especially thankful to LadyNTrainer and cloudboy for their open expression of their opinions.
I also agree with those who say that generalizations are often a bad idea and that they can lead us in wrong direction. They quite often do.
However, I think that it is also bad to avoid generalizations at all costs, because without some generalizations we wouldn't be able to form any concepts in our minds and we would have very limited knowledge of the world.
What I personally think is that the reason why generalizations are avoided at all costs are those of political correctness rather than real desire for truth.


< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/23/2010 6:47:00 PM >

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 40
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