RE: Make a wish.. (Full Version)

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MochaMistress -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/17/2006 11:31:14 PM)

Granted, meet Otto the male slave. He is very comfortable to put your feet up on but he tends to fall asleep down there and snore very loud.
 
 
I wish the weekend would just one more day longer.



bancheeEB -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/18/2006 12:24:28 AM)

Granted, But now you have to take a second job to pay for all the extra fun you had over the longer weekends!

I wish for a long massage



Gauge -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/20/2006 9:36:05 AM)

quote:

I wish for a long massage


Granted. I think that it is wonderful that you have asked for this wish. I believe that you and everyone that asks for a wish would have it granted even though we enjoy corrupting them. One of the wonderful things about this thread is to see those that actually have a wish that they would really, really, really, want and then the twisted among us come in and fuck things up. I mean, what a wonderful thing. Wait... you said long massage and not long message?


I wish that I could be on vacation all the time and never have to worry about paying for all of it.



MochaMistress -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/21/2006 10:23:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I wish that I could be on vacation all the time and never have to worry about paying for all of it.


Granted. I understand that now in prison you have cable tv, computer and gym access.
 
I wish that I could find out what happened the my sock mates when they go in the dryer. It never fails I put two matching socks in and only come back with one when time comes to put away the laundry.



Gauge -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/21/2006 11:35:59 PM)

quote:

I wish that I could find out what happened the my sock mates when they go in the dryer. It never fails I put two matching socks in and only come back with one when time comes to put away the laundry.


Granted. As you walk by the dryer one day the dryer door springs open and a sudden gravitational shift sucks you deep inside the dryer into a parallel universe. There you find out that your socks, and billions of other lost and forlorn socks are being held captive by a frog in a tutu. He reads them old Richie Rich comic books and feeds them raw, bloody flesh from a great big warthog named Winston. You suddenly realize that you are witnessing the conversion of merely harmless, fluffy socks into honed, trained instruments of destruction. The frog's intent is to take over the World starting with your house first. There is no escape. You suffer a fiendishly slow death and are fed to the now ravenous socks.


I wish that I would get a little sleep so my mind wouldn't be in overdrive right now.



MochaMistress -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/25/2006 8:36:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

I wish that I would get a little sleep so my mind wouldn't be in overdrive right now.



Granted you now sleep like a baby and your mind is so well rested that when you awake you have come up with a solution to America's gas dependency but unfortunately you are now on the hitlist for OPEC and all the big oil companies.
 
I wish I lived on a private secluded few acres so that I can have naked landscapers take care of my yard.



Gauge -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/25/2006 12:08:54 PM)

quote:

I wish I lived on a private secluded few acres so that I can have naked landscapers take care of my yard.


Granted, but they have all suffered tragic hedge trimmer accidents and they have no naughty bits.


I wish that I wasn't so tired and that I didn't have a headache as a result.



MochaMistress -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/26/2006 6:01:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I wish that I wasn't so tired and that I didn't have a headache as a result.


Granted you finally got a really restful nights sleep and your headache went away. However you felt so good the following morning that when you got out of bed for a good stretch you threw your back out.
 
 
I wish that I had a larger shoe closet for more shoes.



submissvelilbrat -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/26/2006 6:12:45 PM)

Granted...you now have a closet that will accommodate up to 3,000 pair of shoes, unfortunately, you have spent so much money on the new closet, you are only able to afford one pair of flip-flops.
 
i wish i had a maid to do all the cooking and cleaning, a chauffer so i never have to drive anywhere, and a gardner to do all the yard work.



Gauge -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/26/2006 9:49:23 PM)

quote:

i wish i had a maid to do all the cooking and cleaning, a chauffer so i never have to drive anywhere, and a gardner to do all the yard work.


Granted. You are serving 15 years for tax evasion.


I wish that my oldest boy would get this job he is interviewing for on Friday.



MochaMistress -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/28/2006 7:16:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I wish that my oldest boy would get this job he is interviewing for on Friday.


Granted but he decided to turn it down and live with you for the rest of his life.
 
I wish that I had the ability to travel through time to fix some things in the past.



Gauge -> RE: Make a wish.. (6/29/2006 10:56:36 AM)

quote:

I wish that I had the ability to travel through time to fix some things in the past.


Granted, but in the process you throw off the timeline and create a vortex that sucks time and energy into it... and you in the process.

I wish that the lawnmowers outside would not sound like an old man farting.



RubberWitch -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/8/2007 4:20:10 PM)

granted, now they just smell like Old men farting.

I wish I had the power to revive dead posts.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/8/2007 4:22:00 PM)

Granted, only now they need to be fed brains regularly to stay that way

I wish I had the power to teleport



RubberWitch -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/8/2007 4:25:53 PM)

granted. Shall we try adding 'taking my clothes with me" next time? or are you just leaping in and out of geriatric homes clearing some spaces, putting smiles on faces?

I wish I had a case of very good champange.



Daddysredhead -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/8/2007 4:51:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch
I wish I had a case of very good champange.


Granted.  To go along with it, though, you now have a case of the crabs.


I wish I could pay for more of my bills when I get my paychecks every two weeks.



katzschen -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/8/2007 6:08:43 PM)

Granted, but you have to take a job manually stimulating farm animals for artificial insemination...

I wish I could fly.



RobertCloud -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/8/2007 6:21:15 PM)

Granted but because your arms are now wings you can no longer scratch your back and Scientists are trying to catch you so they can dissect you as an Alien.


I wish I could control the thoughts of others.



katzschen -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/9/2007 4:17:23 PM)

Granted. But you didn't specify *which* others, so now you control the thoughts of butterflies, beanie babies and the occasional left shoe.

I wish my roommate would drop dead.



oncallwetnurse -> RE: Make a wish.. (1/9/2007 4:33:11 PM)

Granted.  But she fell dead in your bedroom and now it smells like 48 rotting corpses. 

I wish I had the power to heal.



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