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Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:33:03 AM

MissAsylum

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yesterday, my vanilla boyfriend and bestfriend, and myself all went to a munch in our city.

I have gone to only one munch before and i had to leave due to an obscene number of male doms who refused to respect my orientation and tried to mentally and sexually break me at every turn.

despite being a typically vanilla couple, my boyfriend and i enjoy s&m sex play and we went primarily for the demonstrations. my best friend is a complete newb in every aspect of BDSM, except for what she had glanced at in bondage or FemDomme(

) porn. so we suggested her to go feel it out and learn if she may be interested in learning more about the lifestyle

It was a very relaxed atmosphere when we arrived. Despite the strong recommendation of me and my boyfriend to stay close, my best friend decided to go running off on her own. she's an adult, what can we say?

i'd say about an hour or so later, my best friend comes RUNNING towards me and my boyfriend, sobbing her eyes out. Apparently, somebody tried to force her to pee in front of him and when she refused, her verbally bashed her to the point of tears.

I really wanted to laugh in the "i told you so manner" and because the person who she had met was probably a newb as well- the pee in front of me thing came from the movie "Secretary"(love that movie). But i didn't because she a bit traumatized. i told her the dude was a jerk, but she insisted on carring on with the evening.

i went to the bathroom at some point, and when i came back, my boyfriend was just short of being mauled by a group of female submissives. i found it hilarious. He has a very intimidating figure and very dominant personality, so i could understand. But at this point, my friend and i were ready to leave and he had the "come save me!" face, so when i tried to excuse him from the ladies, they wouldn't exactly let him go without a fight. one girl actually tried to engage me in a game of tug o' war with my boyfriend.

It almost got ugly.

Does anybody have any tips or suggestions on how newbies should conduct themselves at a munch so we could avoid mishapps if at all possible?

Post #: 1

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:37:09 AM

Pyramus

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In all the munches I've been to, none of that has happened - you guys must be a lot better looking than I!

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Post #: 2

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:38:34 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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Munch? I have NEVER been to or heard of a munch where the above scenario would have been possible. You sure you dont mean play party?

ETA: Pyramus.. not so much appearance as venue........

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 6/1/2010 5:39:41 AM >

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Post #: 3

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:41:23 AM

MissAsylum

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nope- it was a munch. i thought that it had been changed to play party and maybe i didnt get the memo.

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Post #: 4

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:44:24 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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Munches, in my experience, are usually held at public/vanilla venues. They MOVE to private venues afterwards for play, if the organizers/participants so choose.

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Post #: 5

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:49:25 AM

MissAsylum

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well i'm a newbie- i dont know spit about proper behaviour/choice of venue or not. unless there is a handbook somewhere and i would aske somebody to point me in the direction of it.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 6

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:51:13 AM

CarrieO

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The munches I've attended have been a restaurants...my favorite being at a fairly well to do establishment (amazing lobster bisque!). I always contact the person in charge prior to my first visit to get a feel for what I should expect in regards to protocol, dress code and such.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:55:18 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

well i'm a newbie- i dont know spit about proper behaviour/choice of venue or not. unless there is a handbook somewhere and i would aske somebody to point me in the direction of it.

MissA.. this is why I am suggesting that what you attended was not somuch a MUNCH as it was a private party. No legit munch group would allow the behaviors you have described in the public venues that legit munch groups attend.

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 8

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 5:55:27 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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So you were in a food court at a mall or in an Applebee's and someone tried to force your gf to pull off her pants and pee on the floor? Not in any public venue I know of.

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Post #: 9

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:00:47 AM

MissAsylum

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um no.

it was in a ballroom of a very nice hotel with the hotel staff on hand.

not exactly as public like an applebee's but it wasnt as private like a person's home.

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Post #: 10

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:05:02 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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so someone at the hotel ballrom, attending this alleged munch, felt it was ok to have someone piss on the floor?

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT* next contestant, please.

ETA: Seriously, MissA.. .

common sense, here?? REALLY......

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 11

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:05:51 AM

CarrieO

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Did you speak to the person in charge and make her/him of the problems you were having?

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Post #: 12

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:12:50 AM

DarkSteven

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MissA, I have no idea just WHAT that is that you attended. I have been at munches and they have all been at cheap restaurantsor bars on slow nights. The kinksters buy some food and drink but not a lot, and the place doesn't lose money because it's a slow night. It has NEVER been at a ballroom - too expensive. No admission fees either.

There have NEVER been play demos.

Asking anyone to play at a munch is strictly forbidden.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Post #: 13

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:16:17 AM

MissAsylum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

so someone at the hotel ballrom, attending this alleged munch, felt it was ok to have someone piss on the floor?

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT* next contestant, please.

ETA: Seriously, MissA.. .

common sense, here?? REALLY......

REALLY....sorry i have next to no expirence at a munch. like i said- i assumed that person was a newb as well. sort of like how pepole on here may draw their end-all ideas about how a D/s relationship is supposed to be from watching porn, or how some Dom men on here think "Get on your knees, bitch!" is the proper way to approch a female submissive.

That was ONE person. ONE. now, if there were an abundance of people walking around and acting like that- oh, yes we ARE at a play party, and this post would have even been written.

just saying.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 14

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:16:39 AM

domiguy

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From your posts, I think it is safe to say where ever you go trouble will follow.

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Post #: 15

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:18:34 AM

MrRodgers

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Not my experience at all either even though fairly limited.

Most munches to me are about the few showing off more than anything else. I do not go, there is nothing there for me. As for the behavior of the crowd at the munch you have described, I've seen or heard of anything like that even close to happening and most of the guilty would be, should be, kicked out...for good.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 16

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:18:42 AM

MissAsylum

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Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Did you speak to the person in charge and make her/him of the problems you were having?

yep, but just about the problem my friend had- i doubt i can even bring up the subject matter for awhile with her.

they guy who we reported was thrown out immediately and we saw him walking to the bus stop.

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 17

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:23:08 AM

MissAsylum

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Joined: 1/9/2009
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likewise- no idea what it was, but the hosts repeated that is was a munch with educational opportunities. and the demos were rather "clean" and were done with dummies. i was a tad but disappointed with that. i was hoping for people, but i'm a pervert lol

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 18

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:25:40 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Does anybody have any tips or suggestions on how newbies should conduct themselves at a munch so we could avoid mishapps if at all possible?

I'm very serious in my suggestion that, should you choose to try again, you contact the person/s in charge prior to attending to get a feel for the expectations an atmosphere. Most munches have websites that offer contact information. A quick email exchange might help next time.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 19

RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:25:54 AM

domiguy

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No, you are kind of an idiot. A munch where demonstrations are going to be done on "live people?"

Now I know why I have never gone to a munch. I can see what type of individuals I would be rubbing shoulders with.

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